<p>Hey guys,</p>
<p>I'm a sophomore at a 4 year private university. There are about 2,000 students here, and to make a long story short, I am MISERABLE here this year. Basically, I thought I had made some actual friends last year, but came back and things recently came to blows with them (not literally). But basically I've got no real friends here, and I'm pretty sure that those so called friends will soon start talking about me and spreading rumors about what a bad guy I am, so I'll wind up with that reputation. I've found that many of the people who attend school here still have the mentality of high school students, and I really just started seeing it this year. I guess I was sort of blind to it last year, because I was still getting used to school. So now, as I'm sitting here typing this, I am absolutely regretting my decision to come back to school this semester and miserable (last semester I almost didn't, but a friend from back home convinced me). The academics are fine, but I feel as if I could get the same academics at a larger school, and have a better chance of meeting real friends. </p>
<p>First of all, I feel guilty for feeling miserable... I know it is a privilege to go to any sort of college, and here I am complaining about it. Secondly, I don't know quite how to describe this feeling, but I just feel badly because of how proud my parents are/were about me attending this school. They got a bunch of clothing for themselves saying they're proud parents and stuff for my grandparents, and stuff like that. I just feel bad with how proud they are, and then just leaving it all behind.</p>
<p>Anyone have any thoughts? I guess I'm just lost here and don't know what to do. I want to transfer out of here ASAP, but the above feelings are keeping me from doing so.</p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>I’d imagine your parents are supportive and proud because you like the school and you go there. If you’re not happy, there’s a pretty good chance that that matters far more to them than which school you’re at (though they probably would like you to stay in school too). Clothes aren’t that expensive… they can get new shirts if you’re at a different school, and I bet they’ll still have plenty of school spirit, unless they’ve got some extra ties to the school that you didn’t mention, but I’m assuming that’s not the case. They’re your parents, they’ll be proud of you no matter where you go.</p>
<p>If you want to transfer, give it a shot. Send out applications at least, and see what your options are. There’s a chance that by the time decisions roll out, you’ll be loving where you are, and that’s fine too, but if you want out there are options. You should probably stay in school while you wait for transfer options (either at your current school, or a local CC if you’re totally miserable), but there are options out there, really.</p>
<p>In the meantime, the best you can do is try and make the best of things… there’s still plenty of people around, even if it’s a small school. Sorry for not having a ton of advice on this, my school is huge, but maybe it’ll all blow over or you can patch things up with old friends (or make new friends)?</p>
<p>Make the best of it for this semester and transfer.
Find new people by joining new clubs; even if it may not be your favorite clubs.
Hang out with the professors and find mentors.</p>
<p>Don’t feel badly at all. It happens more often than you think. Time to move on if you think you’ve tried everything here and still can’t make it work.</p>
<p>If you go to your parents with a “plan” and seem optimistic about the future (finishing college) as well as having given this a lot of thought; they should understand. And, if they don’t, it shows they have a problem, not you. It’s your life. You have to live and work at the school. Your parents are happy because they think you are happy. When you let them know, you are not happy, and share your well thought out plans, they should understand.</p>
<p>Thank you guys for the kind words and advice. I’m getting involved in a few clubs to tide me over until the semester is over, but unfortunately since it is such a small school, word really does get around. There will be no making amends with those old friends, as sad as that sounds. They are just very cold and nasty people, and I really do not want to associate with them. I don’t think it would be wise for me to transfer into community college right now, as the semester has already begun and I will lose all of my money for this semester. I will have to stick it out, but I just wanted to see if anyone else was in a similar position.</p>
<p>Again, thank you all so much for the kind words.</p>