<p>I was woken up this morning around 2:30 because my roommate was having a fight with her boyfriend over the phone, and although she was trying to keep her voice down, it wasn't really successful, and by the time she hung up with him, she was crying. Now, my roommate and I get along fine, but we're not really that tight. Furthermore, whenever she talks to her bf, she always talks very very quietly, so I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to have heard anything. I felt absolutely terrible not like getting out of bed and at least asking her if she was ok, but I also did not want to go poking around in places I didn't belong or embarass her. Anyone have any experience/advice on what to do? I really can't just lie there while she cries herself to sleep again.</p>
<p>Since it would seem really awkward to suddenly bring it up if you were fake-sleeping through it all, don't mention it this time.
If it happens again, just roll over and ask if she's okay and if she wants to talk. The odds are good that she'll say she's okay, and keep it to herself, but she might feel really lonely and want some love (since she's not getting it from her boyfriend).
I've actually been the girl crying late at night after fighting with her boyfriend, and I could tell my roommate was awake. She never mentioned anything, but I was kind of hurt that she didn't ever acknowledge it...</p>
<p>It kind of depends on your roommate's personality...you've lived with her enough to know if she would be po'ed at you for being nosy, or if she would be grateful for your concern. People are different. Personally, I really like having someone looking out for me when I get into fights with my boyfriend. I would be hurt if my friend (or future roommate) just ignored it. It just seems cold.
You say you guys aren't tight? Maybe talking over your problems with each other and being there for her when she needs you will MAKE you guys tight.</p>
<p>You can say...um the other night, I heard you crying. Are you okay...if you want to talk, just let me know...if not, I understand...</p>
<p>From the other side...</p>
<p>I've been the girl with the bad boyfriend, and (maybe I'm different in this) but I would have loved for someone to say something about it. I would have loved to get some perspective - because it's hard to get perspective when you love the person but he is, well, treating you so badly that you cry youself to sleep. </p>
<p>"I'm worried about you," "I heard you crying, so sorry that you aren't doing well, please talk about it anytime," or something like that can be great. Please do not beat yourself up for not getting up at 2:30 am - your brain isn't functioning then - but talk to her sometime when you have a chance. Don't be afraid to say that the relationship isn't healthy (it if isn't) or that she might be better off without him. </p>
<p>It's September - you guys shouldn't be "tight" already - but people get close in college quickly because they deal with these things together. Sometimes, having a person who is outside of the situation comment on it can be helpful - outsider's perspective and all that. Most of all - just do it becuase it's not always a "close friend" thing to do, but it's a human thing to want to help someone who is unhappy.</p>
<p>Again, this is my perspective, my personality... I wasn't very close to my roommate last year but was still really happy when she knew something was wrong and talked to me about it - sexual problems w/ the guy I was dating - at least on some level, I didn't feel crazy for being so upset for what he had done to me. Just me, but that's about the only perspective I can offer.</p>
<p>Girls will talk to any other girl... just ask her about it next time she cries</p>