Backing out of roommate situation?

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hello all,

I’m in a bit of a roommate situation and am really not sure how to address it.
My roommate this year asked me to live with her again for the next school year back in December, and I agreed. We’re very good friends and though she is not the best roommate, she is alright.

However, this semester, her habits have been getting more and more annoying. She is not clean, and I’m a neat freak. She keeps the mess mostly confined to her half of the room, but it’s still pretty gross. The floors are dirty, the kitchen is never clean. I don’t understand why she can’t take 5 minutes a day and just clean. It’s so annoying.
But like I said, she keeps her mess mostly confined to her side of the room, so I find it unreasonable to complain. And, since we’re close friends, I figured I’d just suck it up and live with her again next year.

However, another close friend asked me to live with her, and we would be much, much, MUCH better suited as roommates. I know I already agreed to live with the first, but I feel as if this is a case in which to be selfish because I would be so much happier / less annoyed / less stressed with a clean roommate who’s on the same schedule as I am. But how can I back out of the previous roommate? She definitely has other friends she can live with, but she is quite sensitive and takes things very personally. I’m having a hard time coming up with excuses for not living with her.

2

If you live with her next year, you’re just going to grow more and more resentful until you guys have a falling out and you’re not friends anyways. Might as well talk to her about it now.

3

“She definitely has other friends she can live with, but she is quite sensitive and takes things very personally. I’m having a hard time coming up with excuses for not living with her”

Got two things going for you:

  1. She definitely has other friends she can live with. Maybe this won’t be as hard as you seem to think.
  2. You are current roommates and there must be some friction already since you are willing to abandon her to move elsewhere.

Frame it less as an “excuse” to get out (hurtful) and more as a “mutually” good thing for better compatibility in living arrangements. Feel her out about whether she really DOES have someone else to room with.
And do it soon. You could be slow and YOU be the one with no one to room with.