<p>I went into a semi-depression mode because I went to a high school I could barely fit in...I didn't have any friends because I was one of the few people who joined in from a middle school that was out of the district....and loneliness hit me.</p>
<p>I've been friendly, and I'm not shy at all. I can talk very well actually....but for some reason, I've made it all the way to Senior year without having anyone's number.....no one calls me...no one hangs out with me at lunch.....I feel really lost.</p>
<p>There are some people that talk, but they aren't my type, and I can't relate....not to be condescending, but they're kinda stupid and don't care about academics.....a lot of people in my high school are.
Then you have the ones constantly involved in drama...
The ones who are actually academic are geeks with social issues (like they play YuGiOh duel monsters....)....I can't find anyone like me, who can chill, make sexual jokes, talk about politics, hit on girls, stay a 4.0 student with a 2240 SAT....they don't seem to see that quality in me either.</p>
<p>Is it my problem I'm feeling lonely or is it the school's environment? But I don't want to think that way. People are people....but then again...I don't know...</p>
<p>I've applied to Cornell, Stanford, Duke, MIT, Caltech, and Princeton and the UCs.</p>
<p>I guess what I'm trying to ask is: Has anyone had a similar experience in High school and eventually make a much better social life in college?</p>
<p>Depends on which college you go to. Try to pick a college that has a good social fit as well as a good academic fit.</p>
<p>I feel like I am in a somewhat similar position as you, and I am a junior in college. I think my school is a good academic fit, but sometimes I question if it was a good social fit.</p>
<p>Dude, you CAN make your social life better. I hated HS…I was working super hard, and didn’t have time for anything fun. From the looks of it, you seem energetic and outgoing. This will help you in college. My social life was AWESOME my first year coming in. I have met so many new people and it made me appreciate having and being around good company. Second year–its ok right now…classes are getting harder, and I’m not around dorm mates all the time, so it can get really quiet and lonely. If you really are into meeting people, then go out to parties!!! I’m not into drinking and feel weird if I’m at a party and don’t drink, while everyone else is, but this is up to you. Parties/clubs are great ways to meet people!</p>
<p>You’ll probably remain lonely if you keep thinking that all other people aren’t worthy of your time, which will lead you to having a bad college experience, just like you had a bad high school experience.</p>
<p>Well I’m no help, but that’s only because I’m in the same predicament as you. I hate high school too, not because of a lack of friends (I really do love and am grateful for all my friends!), but because I hate the overall atmosphere/feel on campus and a majority of the student body. </p>
<p>I am remaining optimistic that college will be a lot better though, and I think you should as well. Hope things get better for you!</p>
<p>lollybo, makes a good point. I think many prospies forget to assess the social environment on campus before agreeing to attend. Personally, I think too much emphasis is put on the academic fit and then everyone forgets about the more important part, their mental and social well-being. </p>
<p>College is overrated, know that now. Besides that, certainly college is redemptive but you have to “put yourself out there.” If you have a history of depression, it will probably flair up on campus grounds ( I speak from experience), so I would seek the counseling services at your school. However, there are plenty opportunities to meet new people and not be isolated. Try to meet as many new people as you can the first couple of weeks, even if you know you won’t be friends, later there will be a whole league of recognizable faces in the dining hall, in your classes, down the hall etc.</p>
<p>What you described sounds almost exactly like me in High School. From my own experience- yes it definitely changes in college as long as you’re really open to meeting people, putting yourself out there, and not afraid to make mistakes. </p>
<p>One more thing: Don’t be something you’re not; there’s nothing wrong with YOU so just be yourself! =)</p>
<p>ever thought that the people with “social issues” don’t really have them? Or the “cool kids” are actually at least a bit intelligent?</p>
<p>I mean you say about yourself that you’re both a geek and a friendly guy, so I think you’ve got some misconceptions about your peers. People ain’t black and white.</p>
<p>I used to be the same way. I mean I had a lot of acquaintances, but no friends. I thought all of the popular/cool kids that partied often were dumb. </p>
<p>I’ve come to realize over the past couple years that some of the smartest people are the ones you’d never suspect. It was a real shocker to me when I learned that some of the girls that partied every weekend actually took harder classes and made better grades than the ‘nerds’ that studied hard every night. </p>
<p>Realize that being smart isn’t “cool”, so people try not to advertise their intelligence. You’d be surprised how intelligent some of those “kinda stupid” kids are. And it’s true that most people that are socially adept do not focus their conversations on academic topics, and academics often seems to just be in the background of their lives. Talking about politics, hitting on girls, and making lewd jokes usually don’t go hand in hand.</p>
<p>You gotta stop categorizing people as “stupid” or “smart”, cool or uncool or whatever. I used to do it, but you gotta come to the realization that each person is an actual person with a very unique history just like you and just like me. They aren’t just some “kinda stupid” kid. </p>
<p>**** i still have this problem sometimes when i’m thinking about making a move on a girl. “well she really *<strong><em>ed up her act and she doesn’t seem extremely bright…” just gotta realize that *</em></strong> doesn’t matter as long as you can hang out and have a good time with em. it’s the same thing with friends. stop worryin so much about who they are and where they come from and just find a group of people that you have fun around.</p>
<p>it might be partly your environment, but i bet you money it’s partly you too. and if you don’t work on that, you might find college to be no different.</p>
<p>You arent alone here. My d is a senior who transferred in during hs. The only kids who seemed friendly were pretty much outcasts/misfits–and definitely not at her intelligence level. Then she found running-- those kids are the smartest kids in any school. They work hard and play hard. I think you will feel more at home in college-- its a whole new start-- also, guys relate to each other around sports-- join an intramural league if you arent a jock–it will definitely help–if you cant see even doing that-- go for student government–some type of club that introduces you to a small group of students.</p>
<p>I’m in the same predicament. I can’t find anyone in my school that has any of the same interests as me. And it’s really frustrating.</p>
<p>I mean, sure, I have “friends,” but I basically stand around all day while they talk about the things they like with each other…and there’s no point in trying to start a conversation about anything I like because it’ll trail off after two sentences or just get completely ignored. </p>
<p>Some things I can’t mention at all because they’ll turn against me… >></p>
<p>I used to think the same way, that nobody in my school of 400 people was compatible with me.</p>
<p>That changed Senior year when I actually got to know some people, mostly outside of my grade. If y’all haven’t looked outside of your grade, give it a shot… cos if you haven’t, you’re ignoring three-fourths of your school.</p>
<p>I had no friends really in high school and no social life.</p>
<p>In college I have made lifelong friends that I never had before. I always had people to do stuff with, go to parties with, eat with(always ate in a group of 6+ every night and even 4+ during lunchtime), etc. You my friend will have a new stone to start a new life more or less. Just be yourself and don’t act different, people will accept you for who you are. Many people who had a lot of friends in high school sometimes become a loner in college and go back home every weekend to try to be the “popular” kid at home. People will also have matured prior to their arrival in college and their departure from high school since they too wonder if they will make any friends. Best of luck. As I said, remember to be yourself, people WILL accept you for who you REALLY are!</p>
<p>I hated high school and had very few close friends…but many of the friends I made last semester (my first) I’m pretty close with, and we talk and hang out all the time. In fact, I just went and spent 2 days with one of my friends at her house!</p>
<p>Life changes. I actually liked my h.s. life and friends more than my present college situation, but I was kinda f**ked up college freshman year and burned some serious bridges…Anyway, empirical evidence suggests most people’s social lives improve in college, just not mine lol.</p>
<p>Thank you guys for all your input. I really appreciate it…it feels good to know I’m not the only one going through all these problems.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to be black and white by saying people are less intelligent…I don’t want to. But I have no idea how I should integrate now.</p>
<p>I want to make new friends, but people seem to want to hang out with their older friends than me. I understand them, yet feel really sad about it at the same time.
I’m not sure how I can open up…it all feels awkward. I mean I can’t tell them to invite me to places or to whatever they’re planning.</p>
<p>There’s a dance coming up where everyone in school is invited. Should I go? I’m not sure I’ll have a lot to do though</p>
<p>QuantumArbiter, I once faced problems like you did. I understand that lack of friends can be a drag, but don’t let it rule your life. As I have told you in another thread: Be proactive. No one is going to come to you and ask you to become friends with them. Having friends requires bonding with people, and bonding with people requires personal initiative.</p>
<p>While college can help, you don’t need to wait until college to start making friends. Do it now, and you will feel much better in the long run.</p>
<p>And P.S., college is overrated and will not your solve your balding scalp, your lack of a girlfriend, or your lack of fresh toast in the morning.</p>
<p>I’m not sure about you guys but my closest friends at school prior to arriving in the summer were friends I made while talking to on Facebook for months everyday. Pretty much they still are my best friends till this day, it is kind of sad but we pretty much did everything together. Consider joining your school’s class of ___ group on Facebook and try to talk to other kids who are going in the fall.</p>
<p>I am being proactive. I’m really a nice guy. I’m not shy at all. Its just that people in my school are being complete tards.</p>
<p>I try to be friends, but people think im the stereotypical nerd…they give me looks when i even compliment girls…or they were surprised to know I qualified for the JV bball team.</p>