Hi i’m a second semester freshman at college now and i’ve made no new friends (i mainly hang out with my 2 friends from high school that also go to the same uni as me). I do talk to people in my classes but i wouldn’t consider them my friends since i only talk to them when i see them in class and we’d rarely do anything outside of class.
I don’t even know how people at college are able to have a group of friends because I’m usually only am able to meet like 1 person in each class and talk to them, but never a group of people. and then when the new semester starts, the people i talked to in the previous semester i don’t even see them anymore
My main problem right now with making meaningful friendships is that i place too high of a priority on school, and its basically taking over my life. I got straight A’s last semester but i basically did hw and only did hw throughout the whole semester. The thing is, I’m not very smart naturally, but i am motivated so each weekend i usually spend it doing hw all day. I actually would actually rather spend my weekends doing hw not because i enjoy hw but because i need all that time to understand the material for each class. I also go to guided study sessions which also takes out of my free time during the week to try to learn the material better.
So, i basically have little free time to try and explore clubs and such since I’m not very smart and don’t know how to study efficiently and effectively. In addition, I’m shy and introverted so i don’t even want to go to parties and socialize with a bunch of people i barely know.
put that together: being shy AND studying too much because you care too much about your grades leads to having a terrible time in college.
My solution to this is that i want to join a sorority. However, they are expensive and idk how i’d be able to balance school with it.
any suggestions and/ or please share any personal stories with having a social and balancing school
Here is the thing: don’t sweat it. You’re not wrong to focus on school right now. Do well, get your degree, and move on.
Okay so yes you are at school to get a degree and do well BUT college is also a great time to meet new people that might not fall into your previous social groups. It is a time of exploration! I think you should be able to take at least an hour or so a day to devote time to going to club meetings or just taking a break and getting out for a little bit. Now sororities are HUGE time commitments. Not to mention they are incredibly social meaning you will have to talk to other girls, go to parties, be a part of the sisterhood. Now that is a big undertaking, so I would suggest maybe starting small and joining a club and see how you balance that into your life. Start by finding a club you have interest in and then going to club meetings. See how it impacts your studying as well. Good luck
It is very impressive that you are studying so hard, but I think it is very important that you get involved in the life of the school.
For someone who struggles with making friends, I actually think joining a sorority would be very beneficial for you, as it will force you to talk to your sisters and go to events. In addition to rushing, I would look at joining 1-2 clubs or groups on campus. Also talk to the people on your floor, ask them if they know of any events going on on campus. If it’s around dinner time, go to the common area and ask if anyone wants to grab dinner with you. Sometimes you just need to start reaching out to people and they’ll be more than happy to hang out with you.
Now, to the point about you studying so much- my bet is that while you are currently doing well in your classes, you could be studying more effectively and that would cut out some of this study time. Talk with your teachers, and see how they recommend studying. Form a study group, that should help some, and try to use a planner so you schedule in study time with free time.