I don’t know if this the right forum, but am wondering about sorority life. Watching #bamarush on tiktok is amusing but panic-inducing. One of my daughters is interested in Greek life including at #colleges-and-universities:the-university-of-alabama. It looks fun but also crueler and more competitive than college admissions. How would a Northeastern brunette fit in? Not that it’s up to me, but is this something to encourage? I have no sorority experience.
Depends on the school. One thing to note, sorority membership is a huge time commitment as well as a financial commitment. I was in a sorority in the 80’s when things were much different. It was a great experience and I have lifelong friends. I recently served as an advisor for a local chapter and was shocked at the time commitment it has become. Honestly, I don’t want my daughter to join a sorority when she goes off to school next year.
3 Likes
My D is a senior at Bama and in a sorority. She got HER top choice, which may not have been someone else’s.
My D is not hugely into fashion, trends or appearance, and neither are most of her friends. Some are. Certainly, she felt that some girls were better prepared for rush and were accessorised and branded up to the max - but she was not.
She also told me that the VAST majority of girls are not what you will have seen on social media this week. She suggests you and your daughter look at the new members and actives of various houses and (quite literally) stalk their Instagrams: most are girls, of all looks, shapes and sizes, and of various ethnicities (although still not enough acc to my D), from all over the country. We are also in the NE and D has dark blonde hair, not bleached!
Not all actives are involved in recruitment: there will be many, like my D, who you will not find on social media - she is doing an internship, and many are also busy.
Don’t stress about it - go into the process, follow the dress code but don’t buy new stuff if you can help it, and certainly not things you will only wear once. Be yourself, make an effort in the conversations, and have fun.
D’s biggest advice: the house for you is the one you feel at home in - as in, at home in your body: grounded, regulated, interested - like you are already with your best friends. Wait for that feeling, it will come. DON’T get distracted by all the hoo har.
Bama sorority life IS expensive: although dues include a meal plan for all meals M-F.
Have fun 
2 Likes
That was so helpful. Did your D have letters of recommendation from alum to provide sorority houses during rush?
“How would a Northeastern brunette fit in?”
I would also ask how an Asian American would fit in? An African American? Has there ever been an Asian American or African American in the house?
I’ll chime in regarding letters of recommendation. These are very important to many Southern sororities. To give your daughter the most options, try to obtain a LoR for as many of the sororities as possible. I’m still a year away from having a college student, but I’ve seen friends post a rec request on social media. As in… Jane is going through rush at alabama. She still needs recs from xyz. If you’d like to write one for her, please let me know.
1 Like
Loved your answer. My daughter did Zoom rush last year, which had its plusses and minuses. She’s a brunette, not your typical blonde white Caucasian stereotype that people assume who is in a sorority. Like your daughter, mine chose a sorority that was consistent with her values and interests, and she is happy.
@ChezCurie. _ good question. Don’t know how reliable Tiktok is as a source … but the clips seemed to refer to different sororities based on race/ethnicity.
In this day and age, all National sororities allow all races, sexual orientation, etc. Whether or not each chapter reflects that is another question.
1 Like
eta regarding recs…
For some chapters yes, for others no. There didn’t seem to be a pattern for which she was invited back for. She was cut pretty early from many chapters known to be very southern/Alabama, and also a couple known to be more glamorous. She was pleased as she wasn’t interested in them either! She did keep for a couple of rounds a couple of more southern houses that are very grades/involvement focused, but I don’t think she would have joined them in the end even if she had kept them.
Note that several sororities have removed the need for recommendations completely.
1 Like
EVERY house at Alabama has WOC, every single one.
Not many, however.
There are many reasons for this:
- NPC rush not perceived as being ‘for minorities’ so fewer girls rush in the first place
- Houses not showcasing a wide mix of women from their chapter. My D is always on at the PR/marketing girls to not just show the same girls again and again in social media. It feeds into the point above
- Sorority membership is very expensive at Bama, and often income inequality runs on racial lines
- The historically African American NPHC chapters at Bama are incredibly strong and many girls will follow family legacy to those chapters
Can they do better? yes… Could they do more outreach to non-typical members… yes. Is it also changing?.. yes, albeit slowly…
From my daughter. What she noticed as active:
- if the PNM was interested in her house
- if the PNM was engaging in the conversation and made an effort
- if she and PNM had things in common, or clicked in some way
- if the PNM would fit the overall vibe of the house, would get on generally with other members
- if the PNM was a ‘joiner’, someone who would get stuck in, not only for the social side
- if the PNM was decently presented (brushed hair, clean and tidy, following the Panhellenic recruitment dress code, as if for an interview)
She said that the dress code means that everyone ends up looking pretty much the same, its like a uniform, and so its one of the things that people notice the least especially in a blur of 2000 girls - but which PNMS worry about the most, when really they should be focusing on conversation skills and considering what matters most to them in terms of values.
Of course, these things do not make a very interesting social media post 
Recs are less important than they used to be, but if you/daughter want them, they can be obtained through a friend or through the local panhell (alum) group or the national chapter just by asking. I’ve sent a lot of them through blind request and they are really useless but if the chapter wants them, it is a check mark on the chart (Rec received!) Much more important in the south.
My national group eliminated legacy preference 2 years ago. Recs were much more important for legacies because it brought the name to the front. I think other houses have followed this practice, but it is very controversial (hard on us old mothers who want our kids to have a leg up).
At Alabama, things are a little different than at most schools. They have 16-17 of the NPC houses (the ones people think of like Tri-Delt and Kappa). They also have a few sororities that are specific interest, like music or religion that are popular. And they have 8 of the 9 traditionally black sororities, the NHPC. The NPCs are not as integrated because many black students choose the others because their moms, grandmothers, sisters were in those houses and that’s the experience they want. Understandable. The sororities can only be as integrated as the school is, so if the school is 80% white, the sororities are likely to be too.
Alabama has about 2500 women who go through the NPC recruitment, and have about 2200 who find houses to join (and some may go through NPC recruitment and later join an NPHC house). That’s a really high percentage. They do subscribe to a program where any woman who follows the system will almost always find a house. The student needs to accept the maximum number of parties in the round she’s invited back to, and in the end, if at least one house invites her to the last party, she will get a bid. It works and while there are a few tears for women who didn’t get their favorite houses, keeping an open mind often leads to a perfect fit for them (not their mother’s house!).
Alabama sorority life IS expensive. At other schools it can be a lot less expensive.
Sororities - Fraternity and Sorority Life has a list of sororities at University of Alabama. (Note that there are also three coed Greek letter organizations.)
You can follow links to each chapter’s web site and/or social media to get an idea of how they market themselves.