<p>Im a Barnard alum whose d is entering BC this fall. Im joining this forum to weigh in on silver wavez college decision. </p>
<p>As an Asian woman, I find much to identify with in your dilemma. I grew up with the importance of prestige, status, recognition, notoriety, etc hammered into me. Its not just Asians, but may I say, especially Asians who are prone to this addiction. This addiction to prestige runs all through our culture, and it motivates much of this forum.</p>
<p>Ive worked all my adult life to overcome this narrow set of priorities and the definition of success it connotes. I know it still affects me on a subtle level but I work to be ever more conscious of it and not let it control my decisions. </p>
<p>Choosing a college is an opportunity to individuate and begin expressing your own values and priorities, aside from what is given to us by our parents and the dominant culture. It sounds like, based on what Ive read so far in the threads, that you (silverw) are attracted to U of C primarily because its more well known than BC and that your parents feel more comfortable with it due to its reputation. I agree with others whove piped in: forget prestige! Academically theyre both stellar and theyre both in great cities. But you were totally settled and happy with BC--what made you turn your head?</p>
<p>When I went to BC in the early 80s, everyone except those in academics and the exceptionally cool, were, like, who? where? ber-NARD? But I still knew it was the best place for me to be, and over the course of the years, what I gained in my college years continues to resonate. Im still in touch with a couple of profs, I encounter alum and faculty connections all the time, for gods sake, even my internship connections still come up frequently. And of course NYC will always feel like a home to me.</p>
<p>But the intangible gains are much more significant. BC is where I really learned the importance of QUESTIONING EVERYTHING, of the necessity of inquiry, where I really learned how to look under and through and around things. I didnt appreciate it until after I left, but it makes a huge difference to have 65% women faculty, and all the leadership positions filled by women. You get out into the big world and you recognize sexism everywhere bc you realize youve been largely spared for 4 years.</p>
<p>I deliberately laid low as my d was considering BC, but she felt a strong resonance as soon as she started looking around. Even tho she is brilliant and talented (of course I am biased) she was turned off by the Ivies and wouldnt even tour Columbia, where her dad went. She only applied to small LACs, and BC was her 1st choice by far. </p>
<p>Our choices reinforce the part of us we choose to strengthen. Barnard women are feisty and independent thinkers. My alum friends are all doing really cool things, ranging from principal at an urban school, running non-profits, writing, to full-time mothering. (It so happened I didnt hang out with the premeds and prelaws but theyre all succeeding in their fields as well, Im sure.)</p>
<p>As for the difference between BC and CC, I have 2 words: wedding pictures. In our household we get both alum mags. I was dismayed some years ago when I noticed someones wedding photo in the CC mag. First of all Im not a big fan of ostentatious formal expensive anything. Second, being someones wife is only one of many hats I wear, and not nearly my dominant identity. I dont think a Barnard woman would send in her wedding photo to her college--it never once crossed my mind when I got married--and the editor wouldnt choose to publish it. But every issue of CC alum mag contains not just one but several photos of weddings, usually sent by the CC grad bride.</p>
<p>To me, this phenomenon represents a certain attitude of traditionalism. The woman who prefers BC to CC might be a little more willing to go off the beaten track, to find her own way, to question things more. Maybe its expressed in the difference between the core curriculum and the 9 ways. Barnard women are here to MAKE culture, not to capitulate to what already is in place. On a minor but symbolic level, most of my alum friends are now married, but virtually all of us kept our names, wanting to retain our individuality in the world. BC women are bold about living our feminism, having been nurtured in the woman-centered culture for 4 formative years. On a humorous note, a friend of my mothers said she wanted her daughter to go to Barnard. My mother, a very strong woman in her own way, warned her, dont send her there--shell come back a feminist!</p>