The issue is not whether there is “sex-shaming” anywhere. That wasn’t even a thought; and it is nowhere in my original post. My post, full of questions, was boiled down to one thing by you: LGBTQ+ “folk” and sexual promiscuity. Period.
And, I had hoped you were going to respond to the post because of your affiliation with Wesleyan. I had hoped for some real insight into the differences (not related only to the LGBTQ+ community!) in the two schools: things like academics, professors, programs Wes might have we didn’t know about!
This is water under the bridge now. Maybe you’ll learn something, but if you choose not to that’s also your choice.
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I apologize for all my shortcomings.
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Frankly, the academics at all of these places are stellar. And, in view of everything that’s gone down in the past 24 hours, I’m as convinced as ever that fit should be the determining factor.
Smith has gone up in my estimation considerably. It’s a great LAC with a good sized population of women. It’s a very comfortable looking campus with lots of old growth trees and lawns. The students live in cottages, so I was a little disappointed that they weren’t able to bring all their students back in Fall of 2020. But, in normal times, it’s always been the sort of place where a very young woman can find some traction.
Wesleyan would be problematic. It’s a complicated place with a lot of student self-governance. There’s a fair degree of partying even among the freshmen. DD would need a fairly thick skin to make it to junior year when she can be certain to move out of the traditional dorms. FWIW, it made it through the COVID-19 pandemic with flying colors with a >80% on-campus presence and a total infection rate of <0.1%, thanks to lots of testing and a high degree of compliance among the students and staff.
Barnard? I don’t know if that’s still on the table. Yesterday, someone mentioned the divide between Barnard and Columbia women. I would want to know if that’s still a thing. And, not to put too fine a point on it, if DD has never been a passenger on a NYC subway, that’s a big piece of college life in the city that would be a bit of a gamble for her.
Vassar is a gussied up version of Wesleyan. DD would love the suburban layout of the campus, but I worry that the student body is a bit more in the fast-lane than she might be prepared for.
Cornell is still the outlier. Maybe, the ILR program would provide some small-scale sense of community within the larger university? Ithaca is certainly a beautiful college town (though the winters are long.)
IMO, Smith is the pick of the litter.
@mamaedefamilia Does Wesleyan have a reputation for being cliquey? The message above implied that.
Sorry for any ambiguity. In saying that Vassar was not cliquey, I was not trying to imply that Wesleyan is.
I am more familiar with Vassar than Wesleyan, maybe others can chime in on Wesleyan.
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Thanks @mamaedefamilia. Yes some insight into that at Wesleyan would be very helpful.
Don’t know if OP selected a college (if so, there are no bad choices, congrats), but in case Barnard is still an option:
The distinction between B and C seems far more important to certain outsiders than to the students who attend either school. My D attends Barnard, takes a mixture of Barnard and Columbia classes, participates in two major clubs open to all students, and will be working in a Columbia-sponsored job this summer. Barnard is adjacent to Columbia. Students routinely cross register for classes at both schools.
That does make Barnard a different all-women’s college experience. It is likely you will take co-Ed classes if you attend. But socially, Barnard is quite good at creating a close-knit community of empowered women. It does a fantastic job making an otherwise large university seem manageably smaller and more navigable.
Now, with regard to Barnard’s location, that’s more of a non-negotiable. I love Morningside Heights but I’m a city girl and so is D20. You don’t have to be an expert in subways, but you do need to be comfortable with living in and exploring a big city. D’s best friends at B hale from suburbs and smaller cities. All had at least visited before moving here and all are very happy.
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I’m not sure why it hasn’t been announced in this topic in recognition of the replies received, but from a post elsewhere it seems the OP’s daughter has committed to Barnard.
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@gablesdad, this thread is liable to be closed any minute now. I would ask your question in a new one.
Is Middletown today sort of like New Haven in the 90s?
I live 10 minutes from Wesleyan and drive by Wes and through surrounding neighborhoods frequently. The comparison with New Haven in the ‘90s couldn’t be further from the reality of Middletown today.
It was an honest question. How is it?
I understand that it was an honest question, which is why I tried to be direct and to the point.
I’ll preface my comments by saying that I lived in NYC for 25 years, living or work8ng in 4 of the 5 boroughs at one point or another. I know what dangerous neighborhoods look like.
There is nowhere in Middletown where I wouldn’t go. I feel safe anywhere in that town. There are working class neighborhoods and there are more affluent neighborhoods, but I don’t have a problem with any of them. I thanks my grandkids to a playground in a neighborhood near Wesleyan because it is their favorite playground, and it’s perfectly safe. I take them to the children’s museum in a neighborhood on the opposite side of campus. Very safe. I really don’t know where your negative impression is coming from.
You mention a recent shooting. Let’s remember that 3 of the most famous school shootings in US history - Sandy Hook, CT; Parkland, FL; and Columbine, CO all occurred in affluent, “safe” communities. We have a problem with gun violence in this country, and there’s nowhere to hide from it. The fact that a shooting occurs doesn’t mean that the community isn’t safe aside from that incident.
I don’t know what else to say.
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It’s on the Wesleyan Argus feed. Again, I was
just asking a question. I lived in New Haven in the 90s, hence the potential comparison. Have not lived in the Northeast since.
The shooting took place in Traverse Square, a public housing development that is normally very quiet and actually kind of attractive looking from the outside. I see tricycles and barbecue grills in the backyards there all the time. This is nothing like New Haven in the 90s.
Thank you for this additional information on Barnard! And thanks to those who posted pertinent information and advice. My daughter is excited to be attending Barnard in the fall!
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The OPs kid had committed at this point, and several posts, which I deleted, were OT to the thread anyway. Additionally, any insight questions not by the OP really are best served by that user starting a new thread. Closing.
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