be happy anywhere? really?

College Search & Selection
1

<p>Now that decisions are coming out and rejections are rampant, I keep reading over and over again "anywhere you end up will be the right school." Or "A few weeks into school and you'll forget all about the others."
Is this seriously true? I don't see how it can be that easy - oh, I got rejected from my dream schools, can't afford to go to the next best school, and will end up going to my financial safety which is not even comparable. I got rejected from a school with and amazing program for my intended major and will now be going somewhere with just an average program. Sure, I can find a way to be happy, but I don't think upon starting the school year I will be 100% satisfied with any old school just because. If that was true why do we all go through such a long arduous process trying to find a school that is the "right fit"? Why do we compare and contrast schools at such great lengths trying to determine the best ones where we would be happiest and be challenged academically?</p>

<p>I don't mean to be a downer, but seriously. You'll be happy and satisfied anywhere and never look back? Is it really that easy?
Does anybody end up NOT satisfied with their school, does anybody try to transfer later to a better school/better fit? Does anyone end up truly not liking where they end up - or just not being satisfied? I can't imagine that you (everyone) go to the lowest school on your list and <em>poof</em> <em>fairy dust</em> just like that everything is perfect happy bliss and success.
Just saying, I don't think we seniors are wrong to be a bit upset over these rejections. I'm sure some will be totally happy with wherever they end up, but that doesn't mean everyone is going to end up that way. Yes, I'll like my safety school, but is it terrible to think I might want to transfer to a better school in the future after getting some good grades to back me up?</p>

2

<p>And some will be unhappy with their “dream schools” too.</p>

3

<p>No, in all honesty not everyone is happy where they end up for college. Some people transfer, others stick it out sometimes for financial reasons. But the fact is that there is more than one right school for each person. Even a seemingly mediocre situation can work into something special if you meet people you like, find a professor in your major to act as a mentor etc. Go in with a hopeful attitude and see what happens.</p>

4

<p>Most students won’t be happy anywhere (since some schools are specialty schools that are only suitable for a small percentage of students), but most will be happy at a much larger number of schools than they could reasonably apply to.</p>

<p>Your safety school(s) must be school(s) that you would be happy to go to, in addition to being assured for admission and affordability. If no school on your application list fits these criteria, your application list is not complete and risks a big letdown at decision time.</p>

5

<p>Well, yeah. Be happy anywhere. First of all, go ahead and take some time to feel sorry for yourself. I’m sure you worked hard to get into your reach schools and it’s only natural to be disappointed. But if you start the fall with the attitude you have right now, there’s no way you’re going to be happy. </p>

<p>As for all the time you took to find the “right fit” college, it looks like you left finances out of the equation otherwise the next best school on your list that you can’t afford, wouldn’t have been on your list. </p>

<p>It’s not terrible to think that you might want to transfer to a better school but you really need to stop and think. You’re letting the school determine you’re happiness. That’s no way to go through life. Everyone is going to have regrets but you would be much better off figuring out how to make your experience at your safety school an “amazing” program than wondering why you’re stuck with a bunch of people you don’t consider your academic peers. </p>

<p>It’s not fairy dust that will make you happy at your safety school but counting on your dream school to make happy is looking at fairy dust as well.</p>

6

<p>In my opinion it seems that undergrad education is pretty much the same across the board, with the differences mainly relating to the depth of information studied. </p>

<p>Look, if you hate your school, you can always transfer. You’re not locked in there for four years. Hell, you may spend a semester and realize that there’s no way you want to spend the next four years of your life on your selected major.</p>

<p>The number one thing to remember is that you will change so much in the next 4 years. I’m not kidding. You really will change a lot, so what you think is horrible and soul-crushing right now might end up being the right fit for you. Or it might not. Either way, the key thing to remember here is to relax and be open to new experiences. </p>

<p>Wherever you end up, you have to accept it and try to make the best out of the situation. If you spend all your time muttering to yourself about how your safety school sucks, I guarantee that you’ll really hate your freshman year.</p>

7

<p>Funny thing is I am actually known for my optimism. :stuck_out_tongue: Of course I will make the best of anywhere, but I just find it funny how so many people’s advice is “who cares, everywhere is the same.”</p>

8

<p>That’s because life teaches you true happiness is found between your ears.</p>

9

<p>@barefootJ: i’m in the exact same place as you, so i know how it feels :frowning: rejected by tufts (dream school), accepted to next choices brandeis and smith but not even close to being able to pay.</p>

<p>i think the worst part is that i’ve actually started hating my rich friends for being able to pay and my parents for not being able to. i’m really disgusted with myself for being such a brat, but i’m finding it really hard to cheer up. i guess just try to accept that it’s not going to work out the way we want it to… i just regret spending 4 years in high school actually trying, when i could have gone to my state flagship (where i’ll probably end up) with 0 effort at all.</p>

10

<p>Diana, sorry to hear that. :(I know what you mean.
Even if I got accepted to the schools I really really wanted, I have no way of knowing before applying what the financial aid would be like. I got into some that I love but just didn’t get as much aid as my safety. Nice school I guess, but it’s just a mediocre tiny farm school…</p>

<p>Anyway, I guess my point isn’t to whine that I won’t be happy (because I will), just that it gets annoying when everyone brushes it off and says “it’ll end up fine. Everything will turn out perfect and you’ll be so happy.” Just like the crazy people who would say “oh, if you have XXX test scores and a XXX GPA, you’ll get into _____ school no problem.” (which obviously isn’t true)</p>

11

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<p>This application season (for fall 2012 entry), colleges were supposed to put “net price calculators” so that potential applicants could get a rough estimate of financial aid the school may give them, so that applicants would not bother with definitely unaffordable schools and apply only to those which have a reasonable chance of admission and affordability. Accuracy of such “net price calculators” remains to be seen, but it may well be that accuracy varies depending if your situation is common (your parents get income mainly from wage and salary sources, and have “typical” amounts of assets) or has some unusual characteristics (like wildly fluctuating parental income, unusually high or low assets, etc.).</p>

12

<p>To those of you currently struggling with admissions rejections and less than optimal financial aid offers, I am truly sorry. I feel it is very important to grieve disappointments in life. Not being accepted, or otherwise learning you are unable to attend the college of your dreams, is a loss worth spending time processing. Anger is a natural part of that process - it doesn’t make you a brat. Increased cynicism is also common after some losses - it is part of a journey toward having a realistic outlook on life. Your optimism and calm will almost certainly bounce back after you have had time to move through the stages of loss. </p>

<p>As to being happy anywhere, well, having been through the college and graduate school application process many years ago, and going through it with my DS now, this is my hard-earned wisdom: yes, happiness is no small result of the effort you put into a situation. However, I found some schools were definately far more supportive of my own personal happiness than others. Large university? I was almost completely lost without the smaller honors program, and even then, I had to find a smaller residential community to be a part of. Only then, was I able to say I was “happy.” That school was not my first choice, but because of financial reasons I accepted it over the school that would have given me far greater debt. I am certain, in the end, I was far happier at the school I attended than the more expensive school that had been my first choice.</p>

<p>For personal reasons, I took a year off and transferred to a state school far different from my native state. I found the cultural differences very isolating. I was not happy at all for a year, until again, I found a community of (older, like-minded, graduate) students. For graduate school, I did not get funding for my first choice, but accepted a position at a great school. The happiness I felt there, again, came from the sense of community with other graduate students, and somewhat, the physical environment. </p>

<p>During most periods of “unhappiness” during my college years, I can almost always chalk up the unpleasantness to not-belonging, to being isolated. It is so different from what I hear most students, and even parents, looking for today, but upon reflection, I can offer no other answer. In terms of learning environments, honestly, I feel academically that I learned about the same quantity in the same quality, whether I was happy or not, and in fact the most “intellectually stimulating environment” I found myself in was also one of the most personally (surprisingly) unsatisfying. No, I don’t think you can be happy anywhere, but you have a choice in creating your environment wherever you find yourself and you have a much better chance if you know yourself well enough to begin with, to know the type of environment you will need. FWIW. Good luck to all of you!</p>