<p>I've been puzzling about my son's applications, trying to decide if he did the "right" thing in selecting and prioritizing his college list. Before the results arrive in the mail, does anyone have any "lessons that might have been learned" they want to share?</p>
<p>I think that in 30 days I'm going to be surprised at how it all turns out. I just don't know in exactly which way I'll be surprised.</p>
<p>I will definitely encourage my second D to start the search process sooner. Although my first D is happy with her final choices, I think she may have applied to more schools if we had started earlier. Also, we discouraged her from applying to more selective schools mostly because most were very expensive ( and we knew we would not qualify for aid). Now I think she feels a little left out of some of the senior hoopla since she did not apply to any reach schools.
Of course we learned a lot this time so second D may already be more prepared!</p>
<p>I had a lot of concerns about the list (none rational). However, by the time all the acceptances and scholarships came in I was sort of burned out by the whole thing. Frankly, my son didn't really seem to think anymore about it after that last application was mailed. </p>
<p>Then I think my son had a very brief spell of buyer's remorse, after all his acceptances came in. (I called it the "who would want to belong to a club that would have me as a member" syndrome.) He commented that no one had heard of his schools - and suddenly I guess that mattered to him. (Shows how little they'd been talking about it beforehand.)</p>
<p>But we just kept moving in the same direction we had planned on and that was certainly the best thing to do. We had discussed what his decisions might be based on various financial/acceptance scenerios and we just stick with that.</p>
<p>And, it worked out great!</p>
<p>weenie, I am now where you were last year. I am tired of the process. My son has been questioning schools in his mind and asking himself if a couple of schools are worth attending (although he does not phrase it this way). He does not have buyer's remorse because he applied to enough schools. He also does not discuss schools with friends. He has no idea where most of his friends applied and does not care. I really don't understand it. I know that it is better than the kiddo who applies to schools because that is where their friends are going.</p>
<p>This is a great comment/question, reasonabledad, and you put into words a little of my own ruminations. (a supportive person to me on this forum in a recent PM to me reassured me a little about the college list, probably without even knowing it- thanks epiphany!)
I second PA Mom in thinking we should have started a little sooner, (much earlier in junior, or even end of sophomore year) including finding CC sooner! Also, the thought process for strategizing timing of SATs/SATIIs/AP tests should have started earlier. We definitely learned that for our large public HS you are more or less on your own to get the ball really rolling.
College visits can be thwarted by so many factors, that leaving a wide bearth of time for this, as well as back-up plans is critical.
Keeping your cool, and letting your kid take the full reigns for the apps completion is both difficult and mandatory. :)
Remember your non-college applying kids, too! They need as much or more time and attention at this time, and can also benefit from a birds-eye view of the process if you give them some taste of it, but not so much that they hate it and dread it for themselves.</p>
<p>Could not agree more. While we are stressing about the app.s, scholarships, Fafsa, reading everything we can find on colleges.... My sophomore D told us we were wayyyyyy over thinking it - just relax and everything will work out. Perhaps she is the wisest!</p>
<p>Also, I think that while my D knew she did not want to attend an extremely competitve university because social activities and time to participate in them were very important for her, she can't help but feel a little sad when people treat her choices as inferior. At least she doesn't agree and likes her choices.</p>
<p>I am an ED parent, and at this point (with everything decided) I am wondering about money. I know my son's school (Penn) will be a great fit for him academically and athletically, but part of me wonders if the price is worth it. I am feeling a sense of loss (besides the loss of $$$) about Georgia and Indiana (and probably Texas), the safety schools which were a lot less expensive. Of course, I'm speaking as a parent who would win the CC contest on how much it cost to get the kid through high school...... :)</p>
<p>I think my D has one small regret. One of the colleges she applied to (and was accepted to) is Ithaca which is in the same town as Cornell. She has the stats to at least have been competitive had she applied to Cornell, and she thought about applying, but Cornell didn't offer the exact major she wanted (journalism). She now says she is worried that if she does decide to go to Ithaca, she will spend 4 years wishing she was at Cornell.
The only thing I think I would do differently if I could do it again, is to have her start looking for outside scholarships earlier. Between AP classes and college apps, she didn;t have as much time as we would have liked to apply for the outside scholarships.</p>
<p>My son seems to have no regrets - he's into the LAC that he really wanted, (ED) but they don't give merit aid. I'll admit to feeling a tiny twinge, ala MomofWildChild, when the Regent's with a nice discount came in from one of the UCs. Just a small twinge though, as we can afford the LAC (with a bit of streching) and it is the ideal fit.
He withdrew all his other apps, but the UCs are still sending stuff as our counselor said they probably would. They have too many applicants to deal with to withdraw in a timely fashion. Maybe that, in itself, should remind me what we're paying for.
We went through the same thing with our daughter, and we've never regretted her choice - but it was very hard for her to write those letters declining admission to the scholarship offers.</p>
<p>No regrets here. DD researched and visited several schools. In the end, she applied to two only ... schools she felt offered everythng she wanted. She has been accepted to both and received scholarship offers to both. I feel very much as though she is leaning toward one school more than the other, but we (DH and I) are just sitting back waiting for her final decision. I will be so very happy when the decision is made.</p>
<p>i, too, am an ed mom. my son visited several schools, but in the end, only applied to one (ED). i do not have a single twinge of remorse, other than the $$'s i see flashing before my eyes. but we knew that, accepted that and now are enjoying every moment of his final hs year.</p>
<p>Daughter visited 6 schools and applied to 1 - going to her favorite option and it's the state school which means the price is right. She'll be 25 miles away at the school my wife and I both attended so there has been virtually no stress here.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>Also, we discouraged her from applying to more selective schools mostly because most were very expensive ( and we knew we would not qualify for aid). Now I think she feels a little left out of some of the senior hoopla since she did not apply to any reach schools.<<</p> </blockquote>
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<p>This is a hard one for you and D to deal with, just like buyer's remorse, it is understandable, and both just have to live through the time. Imagine how much worse it would be for her to become attached to a couple of reaches, accepted, but cannot attend because of finances - that to me would be the worst! At my kid's high school, over the past 5 years this has happened to 2-3 of the vals - accepted to expensive private schools, then at the last minute, "Well, you can't go". I know the kids were devastated, don't know what the parents were thinking, and the school's college counselor was totally shell shocked, and questioned parents in our year carefully and tactfully about finances.
You are doing the right thing, and this is the hard part, but it is much easier than the alternative of letting her apply, then saying no.</p>
<p>I was talking to a Mom the other day about the val from a few years ago. The val had been accepted to an elite private, Harvard or Duke, can't remember which, but parents forced her to take full scholarship at another school. This Mom, who knows the family better than I, said the girl cried for days, literally took to her bed, but now was "so happy" at the scholarship school, but still not happy with parents. The person relating the story thought this was a good thing - see how the kid can be happy anywhere, but I was thinking what a waste of emotional energy, what a strain on that family's relationship and what a black eye for the high school - all of which could have been avoided by a few upfront guidelines before applying. You did the right thing by your child - you were honest.</p>
<p>"He commented that no one had heard of his schools - and suddenly I guess that mattered to him."</p>
<p>I felt that there was alot of peer pressure in my sons group of high school friends to be accepted into "top ranked" schools. I know he was actually ridiculed for some of his application choices. And it made the final decision after acceptances very difficult for him (He didn't make his final choice until the last possible minute). And since one of his top ranked applications rejected him but gave him a guaranteed transfer option it even made his final decision not so final and he went away to college not totally committed to where he was going. I think he is fine now and as far as I know has forgotten about the transfer option. And as I follow reports from the parents of his high school friends I've heard that many of them who based their final decision on what they thought was the "best" school are already back home attending local schools or will most likely transfer next year to the state university.</p>
<p>It was discussions on CC about finding the best fit that kept me sane and is the reason I'm still reading these posts.</p>
<p>Mom of WC - went thru the same trepidations last year & may be on the verge of deepening that feeling this year! But last year's decision, low & behold, turns out to be perfect. Now if my husband & I can just keep working until we're 104! LOL!</p>
<p>As for this year: here's how I'm feeling right now:
i don't know! i don't know! i don't know!<br>
Any suggestions?</p>
<p>At the moment, I have no regrets. I know I should have started earlier with the applications or prepared for some things more, but in the end, its turning out pretty well. I have a lot of schools I'd be happy to going and even though they may not be the most selective, they're a good fit for me. I'm actually happy I'm apply to schools so far away, no one at my school really knows anything about them so I don't have to feel their not selective enough. I wish money wasn't an issue for me but getting merit scholarships and feeling wanted is fine with me :)</p>
<p>Not this year but I sure do remember the major regret I had not long ago when S was applying. </p>
<p>Actually mine didn't have much to do with which schools he applied to (it was before I discovered CC unfortunately, and I was happy with his final list)......rather it was mailing all those "sorry I'm not coming to your school" letters to the "losers", after he made his choice, in May. Still remember being at the mailbox thinking all those what-ifs, each and every one would have led to a different life path for him. </p>
<p>Even as a parent I got to LIKE those schools, especially having visited along with him and enjoying the visits (though he slept through his share of information sessions :) ). Oddly it's a little hard to say goodbye... esp when they (like S) pick a school ranked a little lower than one or 2 of the schools he got into.</p>
<p>I'm totally happy with my D's ED decision. But if I have to hear my mother say "I wish I knew where ELSE she would have been accepted" one more time.....</p>
<p>"gave him a guarenteed transfer option"
Wow, I've never heard of that. Do you mind telling what school that was Zip? Do any others do the same?</p>
<p>I remember feeling physically ill when S nonchalantly checked off the "sorry I'm not coming" box for U of Chicago last April. It was the perfect fit school for him (in my mind) and I'd fallen even more in love with it since he'd been accepted EA. I held onto the postcard until the last possible moment, wondering if he would waver or change his mind. (He didn't). Wondering if I should try to talk him out of it. (I sort of did). The degree of my regret surprised me and actually lasted the entire summer. Even on drop-off day, I couldn't stop comparing Berkeley to Chicago and wondering if he'd made a mistake. But, and I thank God for this every single day, it turned out S made the absolute right decision for himself. He is gloriously happy, and his freshman year has far, far exceeded our expectations. (And when I think that we could be paying double what we do now, I am very relieved and feel even more fortunate.) I hope that other parents will be experiencing this feeling next year at this time. It really does make up for the angst of the application year and any lingering regrets over roads not taken.</p>