Being gay at top colleges?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Hey! So some of you may have seen my posts before on this forum, usually of the academic nature... However, what is starting to concern me is the fact that I have no real idea of what life is like for the openly gay at top schools. I'm not openly gay, as I live in a conservative area with parents who would probably die if they found out and would blame the internet. In college, I don't want this to be the case. I feel like my closetedness has been one of the reasons why I am sometimes shy in school but fine when I hang out outside of school. I want to enjoy college, go to parties, follow the work hard, play hard mentality, but I also want to attend a school where being gay is not merely tolerated, but accepted. I am not looking for pride clubs or LGBT centers. I'm a "joe schmoe" gay guy who wants to finally live life to the fullest, and have the potential to be friends with everyone, gay, straight, etc, not just be limited to a niche group. I'm looking at schools such as:</p>

<p>Harvard
Yale
Princeton
Stanford
Dartmouth
Duke
Colgate
U of Richmond
Brown
(btw I'll post a chance thread tomorrow :P)</p>

<p>I've read overwhelmingly good things about dartmouth from students (on this board), where gay guys can be part of frats and frat parties, etc, and no one treats it as uncommon. (Although being able to be in greek life is not a deciding factor for me, I always wanted to be "one of the guys" and had that mentality.) Duke apparently has a niche group, but that's not for me. I'm worried Harvard may be plenty tolerant, but not accepting and I would have absolutely no chance for greek life, social inclusion with the "average" heterosexual there. I'm into classics, martial arts, and want to join ballroom dancing (shocker, haha), and don't want to be known as the "gay guy," although I'm not flamboyant or anything to that effect. Can any current students from these schools or schools of comparable quality (either in prestige or in strength of classics programs) relate to me the level of acceptance for gays, i.e. how well I could fit in as a "normal" person. I am in love with Harvard because of the surrounding atmosphere, the city, and the great classics, but if I get into both harvard and dartmouth, I may just have to pick the latter because I want to be comfortable as ME, even if I have to live in a semi-rural setting. I would appreciate help! (and not merely hearsay).</p>

<p>P.S.: sorry for the long post! feel free to suggest other schools, but realize that because of legal reasons, I have to apply as international and need financial aid.</p>

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<p>Look into NYU.</p>

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<p>Anectodal evidence here but I know a gay guy at Dartmouth and he seems to be enjoying himself fully.</p>

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<p>LOL, I’m sorry on my use of the word normal, but it’s hard to convey my wanting to fit in. anymore suggestions?</p>

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<p>If you’re looking for more schools to look into, I’d suggest University of Michigan. Ann Arbor is one of the most liberal college towns in the US. Last year, we elected a student body president who happened to be gay, if that’s any indication. You won’t find acceptance from everyone since it’s such a big school, and you’re bound to run into people with difference views wherever you go, but AA is definitely a safe bet.</p>

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<p>Yeah but our senator assistant or governor assistant or whatever ■■■■■■ him hard.</p>

<p>So ur like the gay guys in Big Daddy?</p>

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<p>If you’re willing to lower your standards as far as prestige goes, GW has a very large gay population. I’m gay at GW and part of greek life, so I definitely get what you’re saying when you say you want that ‘one of the guys’ mentality. </p>

<p>No matter where you go, I’d recommend going to a school in the city though, so you can take part in the gay culture of the city.</p>

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<p>Hey - I completely understand why you’re asking. I think you would be fine at those schools. Try looking at NYU, Columbia, UPenn, University of Texas at Austin, UC Berkeley. All prestigious schools with pretty active LGBT communities (from what I have personally seen).</p>

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<p>Thanks for the help everyone! Unfortunately many of those colleges would not aid me financially as an international and so I can’t consider them fully but will do research on them. NYU isn’t my kind of school and for economic reasons I can’t consider UC Berkeley which actually made me a little sad. GW is a bit too close to home for my tastes, but I should check out the campus this summer, regardless. Any more suggestions? Are there any actual students from the institutions I listed who can give me some suggestions or insight?</p>

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<p>Patrick Bateman: Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.</p>

<p>FYI! :p</p>

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<p>I’m sure that growing up gay in a very socially conservative area has given you plenty to worry about. I don’t think you need to worry about this.</p>

<p>Even a generation ago, most top colleges (at least in the Northeast, where I went to school) were quite accepting. It doesn’t stretch the truth much to say that many of us who were straight at Harvard graduated thinking, “Hmm, if I’m still straight, does that mean I’m just not open-minded enough?”</p>

<p>I will say, however, that where I went to graduate school, in the not-too-deep South, it did seem decidedly less rainbow-friendly. You might want to get advice about Duke or Richmond from somebody who actually knows Duke and Richmond, which I don’t.</p>

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<p>Can’t say much about how LGBTQ friendly Stanford is, because I’m not gay, but if you want to know anything about the Classics department, pm me. It’s a lot sunny than Harvard.</p>

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<p>Wow, GN, I’m still very interested in what you have to say! What is the depth of the greek program like? Most schools don’t really have a breadth of courses when it comes to greek.</p>