<p>I told my kids a few things. </p>
<p>With respect to sex, a) treat your partners with respect; b) always have protection. </p>
<p>I told my son that he needed to be careful to avoid situations that could be interpreted as non-consensual. The existing rules, such as they are, are strange in a college context. Any alcohol consumption is said to void consent. Yet an extremely high percentage of college social situations are lubricated by alcohol. If one is only going to have sex with partners who had no alcohol, one is likely to wait a while. Given the college environment, it is complex (e.g., you and your GF with whom you sleep every night have two drinks on Friday night and then have sex – is that non-consensual?) If you start with treating your partners with respect, that generally precludes non-consensual sex (although not all activities labelled non-consensual by the current rules).</p>
<p>I would have told my daughter to be wary of/stay away from fraternities not because all frat boys are problems but because there is evidence that fraternities have a disproportionate share of coercive sexual activity. But, she didn’t go to schools with fraternities. Her HS had a fabulous program in which they showed her how little alcohol it would take for a girl her size (5’9" 120 lbs) to get drunk or have impaired decision-making. We reinforced that message. I didn’t bother telling my 6’4" 210 lbs son. Perhaps I should have. But, we were more concerned about our girl making herself vulnerable than our boy (people tend not to mess with someone that size). He got lots of talk about driving and alcohol. She doesn’t drive yet.</p>
<p>I told them that there would be time when they got very drunk and felt absolutely awful afterwards but that the mark of a high IQ was that they would remember how bad they felt and not repeat the same behavior the second time. </p>
<p>Not sure what my wife told them, but it was probably consistent.</p>