<p>That was just a ploy for you to click on my post - but for real, I wondering if anyone would like to read my commonapp essay and critique the shtt out of it. I’m applying to penn.engineering n a bunch of other schools n im holdin my apps til i figure out what im doin w the essay.</p>
<p>if ur willing - just post ur email here and ill send it to u asap. Thanks to all the playaz and playettes who step up n help me out!!</p>
<p>yeah man</p>
<p><a href="mailto:ssjatreides6@lycos.com">ssjatreides6@lycos.com</a></p>
<p>anything for a brother ;)</p>
<p>haha - i sent it to ur email man, thanks</p>
<p><a href="mailto:fran95@gmail.com">fran95@gmail.com</a></p>
<p><a href="mailto:pink_heaven012@yahoo.com">pink_heaven012@yahoo.com</a></p>
<p>fran and forever - sent it to ur emails</p>
<p>Please do let me read it! </p>
<p><a href="mailto:xhohosntwinkiesx@aol.com">xhohosntwinkiesx@aol.com</a></p>
<p>Yeah, a lot of people don't like my aol e-mail and I think it might be a turnoff when they send me s*it...so they don't? Well.</p>
<p>wow, very interesting beginning. theme and plot, diction is very simple but effective. sorry if im sounding like a teacher but hopefully that helps. again, very nice beginning. the simplicity is outstanding(as in it stands out and is good also). im surprised you didnt use any complicated words, most peeps do. but style is style. bravo</p>
<p>xhohos, i LOVE you email address, and my essay should b sitting dormant in ur inbox as you read this</p>
<p>I already replied to you personally, but..... just wanted to post here that your essay is brilliant :)</p>
<p><a href="mailto:signup22@gmail.com">signup22@gmail.com</a></p>
<p><a href="mailto:xamee86x@yahoo.com">xamee86x@yahoo.com</a></p>
<p>It's brilliant for a few reasons. Yes, the diction is simple - it sounds like you put your true self into it. The beginning, very intriguing, draws the reader in. You don't throw in a million SAT words, so any reader can understand you and maybe even relate? Maybe I'm wrong when I say it is slightly personal, with what's revealed in the beginning. I'd see that as an advantage, however. Overall, I see its brilliance, I see how anyone could regard it as the amazing, well-written essay it is. And very good structure, too!</p>
<p>Excellent. :D</p>
<p>anyName n mezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz</p>
<p>the essay is sitting lonely in ur inbox waiting for your company :)</p>
<p>aNYONE eLSE cOOL aS anyname and mezz and wanna read it?</p>
<p>xhohos - when u say its slightly personal, do u mean that as a good thing or a bad thing?</p>
<p>perhaps make it a little MORE personal? elaborate more at the end? or is the lack of BS explanation and elaboration at the end a good thing</p>
<p><a href="mailto:okytdy@yahoo.com">okytdy@yahoo.com</a></p>
<p>I meant it as a positive thing. If you want to elaborate more at the end, that's your choice. I personally thought it was perfect as it was. If you want to fix the end, hopefully you'll let me read it again. :)</p>
<p>ill take a look: <a href="mailto:metra@comcast.net">metra@comcast.net</a></p>
<p>ok and metra - its waiting for u in ur emails</p>
<p>anyone else cool enough to step up?</p>