<p>I committed to a school back in February so I will definitely be going there next year. Yesterday, one of my closest friends found out she was also accepted to the school (it's a high ranked school that she did not expect to be accepted to) and now she's pretty interested in going. I'm pretty concerned about this because I really do not want to go to school with anybody from my highschool, particularly not a best friend. It is not because I dislike her or anything, I just want to be able to start fresh and branch out. The school is small (only 5,000 students), but since I have committed there I must go regardless of who else is attending.
Does anybody have any advice on how I should talk to her about this or what I should do? Will it not be as big of a deal when I get there?</p>
<p>Um…well I think the first question is here is whether or not you really consider this person a best friend…or even friend, because it seems odd that you’re this bothered by the idea of attending school together. But yes, 5000 is big enough to avoid people that you don’t want to spend time with, and big enough that you can start fresh even if someone knows you…unless they start saying some particularly awful stuff about you…that tends to spread faster unfortunately.</p>
<p>Sent from my XT907 using CC</p>
<p>It’s somebody I consider a friend however it’s not a friendship I want to maintain as closely as it has been for the past seven years.</p>
<p>Seriously, how would this conversation go? </p>
<p>“Um, hey. I know you got in to this highly ranked college that might be a great fit for you but can you not go because I’m going to be there?”</p>
<p>A good friend and I from a very small high school ended up going to the same very small college (~2000 students). Surprisingly, we were placed in the same dorm, same hall our first year, though neither of us had requested this. We made our own friends, found our own interests, etc. We are still good friends but seldom cross paths, even in such a small environment.</p>
<p>That would be a dumb reason to not attend a school.</p>
<p>I really don’t think there’s a topic here for discussion. Once you’re on campus you’ll both be making new friends, your schedules will be different, different after-class activities, etc. You might have to plan in order to run into one another. I’d say just let things take their natural course.</p>
<p>Providence! And nothing you can really do about it. I totally get where you’re coming from and understand wanting to be a new person to new friends. You never know, there may be an advantage/reason that you have not considered, why this friend may be close by. Agree to be friends, but come to an understanding to branch out and spread your wings. It’s not as big a deal as you are thinking.</p>
<p>The key thing is not to room with your friend. That way, you both will be meeting new people, but will have that connection from home (which you may decide you like after all) when you run into each other on campus. Since you can’t control your friend’s behavior, there’s no point in worrying about it.</p>
<p>rower, I understand how you feel. My best friend almost went to a university half an hour from me. Not as bad as the same school…but meh. It’s not like I dodnt like being her friend, but there were some aspects and roles of the friendship that I didn’t enjoy and did not want to continue throughout college. </p>
<p>Speak to her about your expectations in college. Don’t sit her down and say, “I don’t want to go to the same college as you, but I can’t talk you out of it…” That’d be horrible. Causilly bring up what you want out of college. How you want to branch out and meet new people. Be your true self. She’ll understand and most likely she’s going to be wanting the same out college like you.</p>
<p>Unless she requests that you be her roommate, there’s no issue here. Once you’re in college, you might drift apart, or might remain close friends. </p>
<p>I go to a small LAC (less than 1,000 people). A non insubstantial number of students came from one of two high schools because Emory offers its faculty’s students free tuition. I know that a few of these local students remarked that they used to be best friends with X, although when they both went to the same school, they drifted apart. If that can happen at a school of 900, it can certainly happen at a school with 5,000 students.</p>
<p>Wow, I would say you are making this all about you, and you haven’t even been thinking that you should congratulate your friend on making it into a reach school and be happy for her. Agree with those who say don’t room with her, and you will be fine. I went to a university of 20,000, and ended up on the same dorm hall as TWO guys (co-ed dorm) from my high school class (one I had gone to kindergarten with!). It was a non-issue. In fact, I met some of my best friends in college through one of the guys, who met them at orientation. You focus on your own classes, clubs, and making new friends, and this will take care of itself. A school of 5,000 is big enough to share with your arch nemesis – a friend who you just don’t want to hang out with as much is a non-event.</p>
<p>Just be prepared if she asks to room together, or sign up for classes together. Tell her you are looking to stretch your wings a little and meet new people, so you want to do those things independently. But don’t shut down the idea of hanging out with her at all. No need to be rude to someone who has been a “best friend” for a long time. But she is as entitled as you are to attend whatever school she wants to. So be happy for her, and while you may want some distance, don’t be mean about it. A long term friend deserves some kindness, IMHO.</p>
<p>If you don’t want to remain friends, just allow yourselves to drift apart. I’m at the same school as one of my best friends from high school and we honestly haven’t talked in months. Not because we didn’t want to remain friends, but because we formed different social circles and found separate interests.</p>
<p>Whatever you do, do not be roommates. I have some friends who have done this and regret it.</p>
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<p>THIS. </p>
<p>One of the worst mistakes I have made was being roommates with who was once my closest friends (and unfortunately, we’re stuck together as roommates next year too - long story). It really has stifled me socially. Biggest regret.</p>