You have to figure in the factor of wealth in the private schools-and not just wealth, but really freaking wealthy trustfundians who don’t operate on the same level (in any sense) that you or your kids will.
We were in a private school for a while where older DD’s best friend’s parents had donated a wing to the school. Their house was crazy gorgeous. Playdates were absurd. They still had a teacher that had no grasp of grammar or syntax, and a 5th grade that saw a 30% repeat rate so they could garner better scores on aptitude tests for the next year (and 13 years of exorbitant tuition versus 12 for many kids).
We transferred to an excellent public school for a better socially stratified fit and more accountability with teacher training and student testing. DD had to play catch up in first grade because she was behind the other kids academically. I’m glad we pulled her and her younger sister when we did-it was just a weird, weird experience at the private.
Of course, not all schools, public or private, are like this. But the social aspect is something to consider-and those kids are all aware of where they are in the pecking order in a preternaturally early age.