<p>today in apush, some kid asked about our half day on friday
my teacher hates people so he said "yeah, yeah, yeah while you deadbeats get to smoke cigarettes all day i have to be here working" the class was just like....what??</p>
<p>in ap chemistry today we were learning integrated rate laws and only 1/2 the class knows integrals from calc...her explanation "integrals allow you to integrate" and the class was like Huh?? she started trying to show us derivations of those equations and was like "actually, nevermind, this wont be on the test and i dont remember my calculus...just use the equations, don't worry about what they mean" and she has a doctorate too....</p>
<p>"A paragraph is like a skirt. It needs to be long enough to cover all the important details, but still be short enough to be interesting."
-a teacher whos name i cannot remember...</p>
<p>in AP Bio last year, "Ladies and gentelman, every morning I wake up and look in the obituaries section of the newspaper and if Doug E. Herman isn't in there, I know it's going to be a good day!"</p>
<p>Lol mollypockets you burned it?! I don't want to know...</p>
<p>Haha, in physics: "So a box of sleeping kittens is catapulted off a cliff..." And my world history teacher last year offered us extra credit points to go to Hiroshima and pose like obnoxious tourists with the outlines of bodies on the walls from the bomb (or draw faces on them with chalk), which was terrible but also funny.</p>
<p>About grading the AP Statistics exam,
"But sometimes you have to give zeros, because sometimes kids write, 'We never covered this. I hate Mrs. Murray.' "</p>
<p>"some things you just can't do in research. like feeding cyanide to babies"
"Some things you just can't ask on your research surveys. People won't answer it honestly if it makes them uncomfortable or goes against social standards. I would never give you a survey that asks how much sex you have!"
"Dolphins have sex all the time! Dolphins LOVE to have sex!"
"The bacteria have SEX PILI! They have sex all the time!"</p>
<p>....my AP Bio teacher (who I now have for Scientific Research and Writing) is a little fixated on sex. and killing babies, apparently.</p>
<p>"I don't get it! Wait...go back!" (girl in my AP Stat class)
"Catch up slow train!"
[rest of class laughs]
"what are you laughing about, lindsay? You're DRIVING the bus!" (to a cheerleader)</p>
<p>Biology
Teacher: "Class, we need to turn this room into a dance floor for sex."
[this was a lab on the heterozygote advantage]</p>
<p>English
Students: We should totally make a MySpace for her (our 30-year-old teacher is single)!
Teacher: Is that a Barbie doll collection site?</p>
<p>Physics:
Student: What are we doing today?
Teacher: I will be reviewing velocity and acceleration.
Student: Sick!
Teacher: Is that a good thing?
Student: Yeah, sick means it's a good thing.
Teacher: Oh, okay, because back in my day, bad meant good.</p>
<p>Spanish
Teacher: Sorry, class, I know I wasn't here yesterday because I had to leave school in an emergency. My son got suspended at his school.
Class: What happened?
Teacher: He got into a fight.
Class: Was he bullied?
Teacher: He had a verbal debate with his friend Jack about the word "gay." I guess it got a little too physical in the end.</p>
<p>talking to a counselor while applying for dual credit classes as a homeschooler:</p>
<p>Counselor: So being homeschool what did you do for U.S history?
Me: I did regular history, but I also read a lot of historical books for a better perspective than the text books.
Her: Oh so Anne of Green Gables? Those are very good books that would help with history"</p>
<p>lol, this was talking about highschool level US history. Anne of Green Gables is a childrens book set in Canada!</p>
<p>My AP Lit teacher was talking about The Allegory of the cave and turned off all the lights and did a puppet show with the overhead</p>
<p>"Hi, Im bunny..whats you're name?"
"Uhm...Becca..."
"Thats a very pretty name...oh damn, I dropped my pen"
"Bunny's don't carry pens"
"Mines a smart bunny"</p>
<p>"JOSH, DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU OUT."
haha ironyyy</p>
<p>My physics teacher was teaching magnetism and how all objects experience some sort of magnetism/gravity/etc. And he wheeled his chair REALLY close to this one girl and said, "Do you feel the attraction?"
(teehee the child molestor-ness was unintentional....i hope.)</p>
<p>Kid: What's Existentialism?
English Teacher: It's like the American version of Transcendentalism. The next day....
Kid #2: Wait...I still don't understand Existentialism.
English Teacher: It's like the European version of Transcendentalism.</p>
<p>(thick Southern accent)
"Wellll, I think this school is prettyyy di-verse..we've got kids who practice Hindu and Asian.."
--Principal on interview for school newspaper (interview took place after a Jewish boy wearing a yarmulke was forced to remove it and advised by an administrator at our public high school to "Find Jesus")</p>