Thanks, everyone, for the advice so far. It has been very helpful.
I don’t mind the suggestions that are somewhat out of our “range.” First, because I’m trying to be open-minded to possibilities, and second, because those suggestions may be helpful to someone else reading this.
Please don’t judge me for putting the geographical restriction on. I’ve got good reasons that I don’t feel like sharing. It’s not because I’m not willing to give her freedom and independence.
I’ve given my D the range of as far south as Washington, DC and as far north as Colby in Waterville, ME. In truth, Colby is stretching it, because unlike D.C., there’s no good plane or train option, but I’m ok with that as an outer limit (and she probably won’t choose it anyway). I’ve tried to think about whether a 2-3 hour plane ride distance would be ok, but I think probably not. I would like a location where it’s not a major production to get her home on relatively short notice. (And no, we’re not very close to a major airport.)
Again … thank you. I’ve received lots of good info that I did not have before, and I really appreciate it and all of the good, kind intentions behind these suggestions!
I think American University might be a good fit for your DD. She will likely be offered a merit scholarship but the school will still have a pretty high COA (this is my opinion). Check out the special 3 year programs that could save some money.
Your D can find all sorts of creative ways to fund her education- especially given her stats. You will not find a single creative way to fund your retirement- not a one. No bank in the world will lend you the money for your retirement. There is nothing like ROTC or Merit Aid or Parent Plus loans; there is no National Merit program for the elderly.
I respect whatever reasons you have for wanting your D within driving distance- that’s on you. Your D needs to keep an open mind regarding Catholic/Women/ or any other criteria she’s got in her head right now. That’s on her.
You need to figure out a dollar amount that you can contribute which doesn’t put your retirement at risk, and then you all need to keep an open mind as to the best way to leverage her strengths (considerable), her other academic “wish list” items, and your financial constraints.
Do not go into the process thinking that you’ve got a shadow fund (your 401K) to make up the difference; do not go into the process thinking that only losers take the money at places like Fordham (I’m a huge fan) or Mt Holyoke (a huge fan).
You will all be much happier next April if you’ve kept an open mind. There are plenty of kids who are pro-choice at Catholic universities- none of the Catholic schools that would be a good fit for her intellectually are more than a 10 minute walk to a Walgreen’s or CVS to purchase contraception- none of the schools would expel students who are sexually active.
I am as pro-choice as they come- but not at the expense of my retirement account.
FWIW, we started our search in New England and erred badly in visiting schools that we “could” afford but probably shouldn’t. For slightly complicated reasons, we don’t qualify for need-based aid. Among others, we dangled Brown, Vassar, and Bowdoin before our child (all of which she loved) before we sat down and ran the numbers. Bad idea. However, it was early enough in the process that we have been able to identify alternatives in PA, OH, WI, and MN that offer a similar kind of experience (well, no Brown equivalent) that do offer merit money.
If you are willing to share your home state, that would be helpful. I’m assuming MA/CT/NY, given the N/S corridor you have identified. Maximum driving distance of 6 hours? I don’t mean to invade your privacy, but that information might yield more suggestions that would be matches for your daughter that fit your distance parameters.
While it’s tempting to do what it takes to send your child to the most prestigious school where they can be admitted, you’re teaching a better example by helping her find a great school that will be affordable. With her stats that will be possible. This is a great time to teach fiscal responsibility. Involve her in the financial discussions. Realize that these are choices she will face in the future - does she buy the used car or the new car? The big fancy house or the more modest affordable house? Should she withdraw her savings for that trip to Europe or take a more modest affordable vacation?
There are benefits to going to prestigious schools. However, smart students with drive can succeed in any number of schools.
Don’t let all Catholic schools scare you off. Some are very conservative, but the Jesuit schools are much more forward-thinking. While some Catholic schools fire gay teachers, D’s Jesuit university has many gay faculty members, including ones who are legally married, and no one thinks twice about it. True, they might not dispense oral contraceptives at the health center, most girls who want prescription birth control usually get the script from their regular doctor and as said above fill it at the local CVS - where they typically get any other prescriptions filled as well.
If you’re willing to look towards the Midwest, schools there are definitely willing to pay for top students. There are many great Quaker and Lutheran schools with strong academics that would offer merit.
My daughter, while not up to your daughters stats, also has high stats including 2310 SATs. She also wants to stay in NE and has other restrictions. In any case, my friend in Philadelphia kept urging me to make her apply to Temple because she knew a lot of kids who were very happy in the Honors program there. I made my daughter apply even though she wasn’t enthusiastic about it–but there was no extra essay so she did
Anyway,we just went to visit the honors program and we were all very impressed. Lots of very smart kids there, excellent access to advisors, lots of perks. Plus, my daughter got full tuition reimbursement and two $4k stipends to use towards study abroad or summer study. Not entirely sure that she will go there, but it is certainly a major contender at this point.
I am with you–it is difficult to gauge “return on investment” of these high priced schools, but also hard to deny a child with such high credentials access to “big name” schools. Unfortunately, merit doesn’t pay full tuition at these prestigious places and those of us in the middle class are left with a tough decision.
No judging @SoccerMomGenie - just asking. If you live an hour or more away from an airport, I agree, flying may not be worth the pain. Many parents - or students - put a three hour drive limit for colleges for various reasons. It sounds like your radius may actually be larger.
I agree with others - do not raid your retirement funds - do not borrow from it - leave your retirement money alone. It sounds selfish but your retirement takes precedence over your child’s college. Your child will have many good options, you only have one retirement option.
University of Rochester is a very good small university which definitely offers merit aid- some half & full tuition as well as smaller awards. Politically liberal & lots of opportunities. Just make sure to interview & visit!
For another women’s college, definitely try Bryn Mawr. It’s a quick ride from Philly & 5 minutes from Haverford for access to the male gender. They offer merit aid awards up to 30k/year.
I agree with the above posters who stated that most of the NE schools offer little merit. Those that do offer it to the tippy top applicants. Your daughter may be one of those kids. My son applied to engineer programs and was awarded one merit based scholarship at UMass Amherst out of his 6 acceptances. Do yourself a favor expand your daughters list out of the NE a bit. I think she will get much better financial offers if you do.
Before paying a financial planner to help you better understand what you’ll be expected to pay, try using the Net Price Calculators at each school’s website. They’re generally fairly accurate if you have typical family finances.
I’m not sure what you consider “substantial” merit aid, but my son (2370 SAT, 4.0 UW, 4.4 W) was offered a full ride (tuition, room, board & 4 K toward internship) at UMass Lowell, 18K per year + 5K for internship at Northeastern, 17.5K per year at Brandeis, and 10 K per year at Hampshire. He chose Brandeis.
@BelknapPoint – true that the Net Price Calculators are helpful. Unfortunately, we don’t have “typical family finances” and they are in a state of extreme change over the past few years and into the future. The first expert we talked to admitted that our details were beyond him. We did learn some helpful info, though. Bottom line, we’ll have to plug in a huge range of scenarios to try to get a better idea. It might be possible that we’re entitled to a lot more than I was anticipating (which was next to nothing), so that could make a huge difference. Or it might be substantial need-based aid some years and none in others. Too many factors outside of our control to really know – that’s the frustrating thing.
@Awesomekidsmom – Congratulations! All of those awards are very “substantial” to me! Sounds like you have a pretty awesome kid!
I actually do have confidence that it will all work out “ok” one way or another. Part of our plan will have to involve applying to a variety of types of schools (Reach/Match/Safety and Generous Merit vs. Generous Need-based Aid) and then see what the acceptances and aid packages look like. And we’ll have to keep in mind that the need-based aid may change significantly from year to year. Time will tell. Really have learned a lot from this thread. Talked D into a visit to Bryn Mawr because of it. Have added a number of other schools to our interest list based on the info.
Look at the “colleges that change lives” at ctcl.org. One of my students got a great merit package at Juniata College and loves it. It is in rural Pennsylvania. Lehigh may give enough merit to make it affordable. Do a search on collegedata.com to narrow your results to those that give merit and fall in your geographic region.
I second American. My son in 2010 got $80K from them. Also see George Washington. They are on a big push for girls and gave my student last year $30K Too bad Miami of Ohio is too far. It is considered a public ivy and my student got full-tuition there with stats similar to your DD’s.
@nw2this $20k per year which was a lot considering cost was a lot less in 2010. They had a Frederick Douglass scholarship for the same amount but required essays. My DS’s counselor said not to bother with that because he would get the same via regular merit and counselor was right. I know South isn’t your area, but one of my very smart girls this year got $20k per year from Clemson and with a price tag of approx $39 it made it very affordable. My experience with merit has been it comes best during early action so have your DD work on her apps this summer so she can submit early. Go to the National College Fair and get to know the reps. The instances where my own children got to know the reps and the schools really well netted them better merit and admissions (usually the match/safety schools). Ohio State gave my son a full ride with honors college. My students this year all got between $17k and $20k off the price tag with either honors or scholars program acceptances. OOS public universities with honors college acceptances and merit have been good ways to go for my students so be sure to look into those. Also read the book and website “The College Solution”, it really helped us with understanding how merit worked and leveraging our children’s stats and interests at the various colleges. Good luck.
I second the CTCL recommendation. For example, my D2, who has very solid stats but not quite as good as your D’s, got 28k merit per year from Ohio Wesleyan. She got 21k merit from Agnes Scott and could have competed for more (they have some full rides). Allegheny gave her 22k/year. All of these schools have COAs under 55k, too.
We struggled because she really wanted to stay in the NE also, but location’s the thing that had to give when we were chasing merit. And although we don’t qualify for tons of need-based aid, but we do qualify for some, we had a few NE need-only schools in the mix, and they ended up being in the same ballpark, cost-wise.
My D only wanted co-ed until she visited Mount Holyoke. You HAVE to visit it – it’s just so quietly impressive without being pretentious. The success of the graduates is staggering, and it’s a supportive environment of intelligent people. It has the benefit of being like a “safety” because it’s a women’s school, and so there are fewer applicants, and the acceptance rate is what I’d consider artifically high. My D got $15k merit/year there, but I know there are much higher merit scholarships – it’s just that my D definitely wasn’t at the top of the pool of applicants.
If the “Catholic Vibe” - is not a deal breaker - look at Villanova while you’re in the Philadelphia area. Great school, suburb of a great city, easy public transportation, etc. Presidential Scholarships there cover everything - COA is zero. Should also be getting a huge bump in yield after Monday night !! ! SJU a few miles away also offers significant merit but Villanova is a higher ranked school by far.
@nw2this A friend just called to tell me the student she was helping received a $41k per year scholarship from American. It was a special scholarship that the student had to apply for. Hope this info helps
