<p>Our kids cover their own books and spending money. It is amazing how frugal they can be when it is their own money. 
They are taking out subsidized loans, but I intend to pay those back if they graduate in four years (first one did, second is touch and go). If they don’t graduate on time, they have to take on those loans and I will not pay them back. It is not too large an amount, since we are only taking the subsidized loans, but enough to give them some incentive.</p>
<p>A lot of good ideas and comments on this thread. I think sitting down with your student with a list incorporating all of the ways, and discussing them might be the next step. They may have some preferences too.</p>
<p>Things do happen, so some flexibility should be there. My son found himself needing more study time and could not work the hours of a job he had taken one term, and he reluctantly had to give up that money source. That term for him had one financial disaster and expensive opportunities crop up, after another. Rather than sticking to the original plans, we improvised.</p>
<p>I’m in line with many of the opinions expressed – my parents’ & grandparents’ generosity allowed my siblings and me to attend college & graduate debt-free. Admittedly, back in the day, tuition fees were negligible, particularly at the local public university I attended. Still, we intend to do the same for our son. </p>
<p>That said, we do expect him to maintain the GPA necessary to maintain his merit award. We’ve had ‘the talk’ about what we consider to be a reasonable expenditure for a 4-year undergraduate degree, which means that some academic options are off the table. And he’ll have to work for (most of) his spending money – something he happily started doing as a 16-year-old this past summer.</p>
<p>I think discussing early so your student can be prepared for whatever you decide, being flexible, and being on the same page as your spouse is important (don’t assume you are). Many people will veer to how they went through school. I was very surprised DH and I were not in lockstep on this, very. Then I considered his parents funded school 100% for 5yrs, I worked FT and went to school at night/was fully on my own by 19. Makes sense we’d have some ironing out.</p>
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No, of course not. It’s not a gift everyone can afford. But if one can afford it, I think it’s something a parent ought to consider doing. I was given that gift and didn’t abuse it. My husband had very modest loans. Interestingly he’s even more apt to throw money at our kids than I am. I can’t complain about either kid. I think they’ve used our money wisely. Younger son is in a much iffier field regarding job prospects, but he’s been busy the last week applying to various language programs (with scholarships) and jobs. I don’t think you should feel obliged to see that kids have skin in the game. I think it’s good for them to start paying for their luxuries with their own money sooner rather than later if possible.</p>
<p>We don’t feel the need for our D to have “skin in the game.” She does have a full tuition merit scholarship plus an additional fellowship for which she needs to maintain a certain GPA, and that seems like more than enough incentive to do well. Even without that, I expect we would pay for everything. H and I both paid everything for our own college/post grad educations - parents paid nothing and I received no financial aid beyond unsubsidized loans. We got our educations, but it was a struggle and we didn’t have the time/money to take advantage of many worthwhile opportunities. I’m sure this affects what we do for our own children.</p>
<p>“Skin in the game” is not necessarily a bad idea, but it usually means that students must have paying jobs every summer. And sometimes, this expectation can have significant disadvantages. Consider the situations of these three students:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Student #1 got involved in undergraduate research as a junior and decided he liked it. His advisor suggested expanding his project into an honors thesis, but to do that, he would need to stay on campus and work on his research during the summer between junior and senior years, which would prevent him from having a summer job.</p></li>
<li><p>Student #2 discovered that many internships relevant to her career interests were available in the metropolitan area where she lived but that most of them were unpaid. She obtained a meaningful summer internship – but taking that internship would mean not earning money that summer.</p></li>
<li><p>Student #3 needed to take two specific courses in the spring of her junior year in preparation for a graduate program. But the university tweaked its schedule, putting both courses into the same time slot. Fortunately, one of the courses was available in the summer session, but to take that course, she would have to give up her usual summer job and pay tuition for the course as well.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Students #1 and #2 were my two kids. Student #3 was me. </p>
<p>In all three cases, the fact that the student would not earn money in a particular summer was not a hardship for the family.</p>
<p>Would any of us have benefited in the long run from a strict expectation that we earn money every summer in order to have skin in the game?</p>
<p>I really, really want the kids graduating debt free. I married a student loan and things were so tight for a long time. I can’t imagine how anybody could set up a household if both partners has burdensome debt like that. So, I won’t require loans as skin in the game. Now, I gave both kids a budget (we can pay X), and if their school of choice costs more than that, they’ll be borrowing. </p>
<p>I ask that they pay books and personal expenses, including gas and car maintenance. How they do it is up to them. Both have held jobs from the time they were old enough to work (15). D1 saved her grad money in case she had to spend a summer in an unpaid internship. Might suggest d2 do the same thing.</p>
<p>I really don’t like the saying"skin in the game". I prefer to call it student responsibility. Of course this will vary from family to family. There is no BEST way to do this. What works for YOUR family is the best way.</p>
<p>The Thumper kids worked to fund discretionary spending and books. They also too the Direct Loans. As a surprise graduation gift, we are paying those loan payments. </p>
<p>The kids worked 10 hours or so a week to fund discretionary spending and books. We paid tuition, room, board, fees, cell phone, health insurance…etc.</p>
<p>The good thing is that they both worked for 3 1/2 years at the same job…great recommendations, and NEC for their resumes. They both had increased responsibilities as the years went on.</p>
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<p>Highly unlikely that most students in most places–even top students–will find tutoring work, especially work that pays that much.</p>
<p>We were all about “skin in the game” until we looked at D’s ability to contribute, and the costs of doing so. Her loans were much more expensive than ours, and meaningful work opportunities come at the cost of time and opportunity for other positions. So she didn’t work on campus until she could take a resume-worthy job, concentrating on academics and developing a social life, and summer opportunities have been paid, but experience maximizers, not income maximizers. She pays some expenses, we pay others, but we aren’t so doctrinal about it. My biggest concern, frankly, is that she graduate in a position to support herself, either in the work force or in graduate school. Everything else is icing on the cake.</p>
<p>I can tell you what we did.
We strongly agree a student with money invested is a more serious student. One with nothing invested might waste the “gift” of an education, causing hard feelings. Also agree the point of school is to support oneself. Don’t see why a person would graduate then come back to mommy/daddy. Heck, if a young person was going to live with parents, they wouldn’t need the time and expense of college!
We told kid he could attend any school that accepted him, and gave him a dollar figure of what we were willing and able to chip in. He had to make up any shortfall.</p>
<p>After-the-fact we have surprised him by paying more than we promised, but all during his school he had more of an investment.</p>
<p>Remember that high-need students at “meet full need” schools are typically expected to self-fund about $4,000 to $10,000 per year (depending on the school) using work earnings and direct loans (although high-need students may get an inside track for on-campus jobs through work-study).</p>
<p>At the very least, have her pay for her own books/food (outside of meal plan)/fun/etc. Way too many people are graduating college and have no idea how to budget because everything was taken care of by mom & dad. It’s sad to watch.</p>
<p>Consolation,</p>
<p>$20/hour of tutoring is very low! Typically, the pay is around $50/hour. </p>
<p>A student that tutors my preschoolers in Chinese gets $20, hour, cash. And I feel blessed that I found her. </p>
<p>Spanish speaking tutors are in high demand.</p>
<p>Music instruments, tennis, chess, etc. - $15-40 per hour, many students do it. </p>
<p>HS math and science - $30-50 per hour, very easy to find tutoring job. I did it when I was in graduate program. My husband did it.</p>
<p>Cost of living and hence what one could charge for tutoring varies from place to place, californiaaa.</p>
<p>D1 was paid $75/hr around NYC area, and it was a discounted amount because she didn’t have a teaching degree. </p>
<p>D1 was our oldest child. We didn’t have much of experience with skin in the game, so we thought by requiring her to take out a 10,000 loan from us would make her take college seriously. She gave us most of her summer earnings (not close to 10K) to pay us back. But after few years, we saw she was taking her schooling more seriously than us (I was telling her to ease up), so we told her that her education was on us. </p>
<p>D2 has always been very motivated. She pushes herself very hard, so we didn’t even have “skin in the game” conversation with her. She is a sophomore this year, just finished up a very tough semester taking many high level courses in her major. She was afraid she was going to finish up with few Bs, but it looks like her lowest grade maybe an A-. </p>
<p>romani - we take care of all expenses for our kids until they graduate from college, and our kids know how to handle money and budget very well. D1 is living within her means and is able to save. I think it is unreasonable to expect college students to pay for their own food if they are carrying a full load.</p>
<p>My best friend had her D pay (I think it was 5% or 10%, not sure) of her own way towards her top 20 school, but at the end of it all they gave her back that money with interest over 4 years as a welcome surprise, and to reward her for having put the skin in the game.</p>
<p>PG…that is sort of a variation of what we did. Our kids took the Direct Loans, and we are paying them back. We are almost done with one repayment. It is a drop in the bucket to make those loan payments (for us) compared to the college bills we were paying. And it is a great help to our recent college grads…and a welcome surprise.</p>
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<p>I don’t think this is true. Our kids have paid for spending money and books, which I consider some “skin in the game”. They had saved some monetary gifts from grandparents over the years (~$1,000) before starting college, and both worked for pay the summer before freshman year of college (not before that). One night stocked at Walmart, and the other worked as a teacher at an inner city middle school summer program. Both went into college with a few thousand dollars in the bank because of this.</p>
<p>D1 worked on campus as well (writing center tutor). She was in a major where unpaid internships are common, and she knew if she took one in a city where she could not live at home she would be on the hook herself for those expenses. She worked on campus, spent two more summers at the paid teaching program, and was able to afford to live on her own in DC for a summer at her own expense after junior year. The one thing I paid for was a food subsidy, since I would have paid for that anyway if she was home ($25/week). Her college also offered an internship program during the semester for credit, and she took advantage of that while we paid normal tuition for the semester.</p>
<p>So she had “skin in the game” and still took advantage of two unpaid internships.</p>