Big fish, small pond --> Small fish, big pond

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I'm really worried -- perhaps overly so -- that I'm going to get to college and not be able to handle not being one of the smartest people in the room. That sounds awful, and I realize that, but I had to phrase it as straighforward as possible. All throughout high school I've been percieved as relatively smart; but I've always known I'm not that much smarter than my peers, I just seemed it because I studied harder. </p>

<p>But going to college I'm not going to have that recognition. It may seem like a tiny thing, but to me it's really important. Maybe not really important, but kind of. For example, at our senior awards night I recieved something like the second most awards even though I'm not even in the top ten. So you see my dilema -- I'm receiving praise for being "smart," "hardworking," etc. etc. but I don't always feel that I diserve it. I worry that without it, I'll begin to feel below average and stop working as hard as I have in the past.</p>

<p>**Reading back over this, I realize that I sound border-line conceited, perhaps even full-on full of myself. But I promise I'm not. It was really hard to write this, but it is my biggest fear... And it isn't phrased perfectly and it's only touching on how my mind is conceiving it. But any input into my worries would be so, so appreciated.</p>

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<p>LOL. You're conceited. Some of your past posts even have the same trend.</p>

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<p>You'll get over it. I promise.</p>

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<p>I think it would be really conceited if somebody came in talking about how that never happened to them when they went to college.</p>

<p>And I'm totally that guy.</p>

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<p>Honestly, I know what you mean. It feels sort-of intimidating knowing that you've got competition. It's scary to think about, but once you get into that position it really isn't bad. You can still pull yourself out and get on top.</p>

<p>I've been there. You're not necessarily conceited. You just like the comfort of knowing that you're at the top of your class. There's nothing wrong with that.</p>

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<p>I used to really hate any sort of recognition at school because I hated the attention, but when I got to college and found people who "got it" quicker than me, I (unconsciously) became very jealous. Then I got to know those people, found they weren't the evil beasts I had made them to be, and learned to utilize them as resources (just like they learned to use my resources). It's a process of acclimation and learning. College is sometimes like getting out of the hot tub and back into the regular pool--it's a really uncomfortable shock at first, but you get used to it (and like it, too!).</p>

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<p>I was slightly different but similar situation in high school going to college. I didn't get any rewards or heaps of praise, but I was considered smart. In college I got below average grades, if you consider Bs to be average grades. But I also went into engineering, so there I don't really think that my fall from grace really was unexpected, but it hit me hard. I think the best advice is to not worry, since worrying won't affect you positively at all.</p>

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<p>You don't sound conceited to me. You sound as if you have a pretty good idea of the role other people's attention has played in your motivation to work.</p>

<p>The reality is that you can stand out even if you're not the smartest person in the room: work hard and find niches.</p>

<p>You may do better in a major that doesn't have a huge cohort progressing through pretty much all the same courses each semester (although maybe I'm just thinking that because I have no experience with those majors). If you're in a liberal arts major, though, you can find something that particularly interests one or more (more is better, people with recent publications in the area are better, and I sort of lean toward younger faculty being better although I can see arguments against my position) professors at your school that you think you would like to learn from, and go ask for reading lists -- then take the lists and start trying to figure out what it is about that subject that interests them. Attend any colloquia that deal with that subject; take any classes that deal with it; and stop by occasionally with specific questions that show you're working ("I'm having a hard time with this paper; can you help me understand it?" "I've read X, Y, and Z and enjoyed them; can you suggest anything else for me to read?"). I would expect that approach to pay off eventually.</p>

<p>You may not be the smartest or hardest working person in the school or the smartest person in the major -- though you should definitely be one of the hardest working -- but you're likely to be the smartest -- and you can definitely be the hardest working -- undergraduate interested in your specific area.</p>

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<p>Something I have learned from going to College:</p>

<p>It doesn't really matter if you're the smartest or not. I have always grasped concepts quicker and made connections quicker than my classmates, in high school and in college. But that didn't matter when I slacked off. My grade would still slip, no matter how smart or quick I was. And even when I had the highest grade, the more hardworking student had a better relationship with the professor.</p>

<p>So in the end, smarts may help as a boost. But 90% of how you make of yourself and distinguish yourself is how hard you work. </p>

<p>I had multiple advisers tell me to stop competing with other people. It really does nothing for you. Yes compare yourself with them to know how to improve, but compete consistently with yourself, and you will always be at your best. And if your best isn't the school's best, there's really nothing you can do it about. So there's no need to worry about that.</p>

<p>Having said the above: I understand completely where you come from. I had the same fears. I also struggle with doing the things I have suggested above, everyday. But it does help.</p>

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<p>If it makes you feel any better, you're probably not special. So don't worry about other people finding it out.</p>

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<p>Ditto what Duper said. Being "special" is overrated. Just do your thing.</p>

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<p>I don't think he sounds conceited...</p>

<p>I was actually the opposite; I was sick of being the "smart kid." Seriously, if I'm not a friend, don't ask me for homework help...so I liked the anonymity of college, where I wasn't pigeon holed as a kid who does good in high school(true) because all I did was study and have no life (not true).</p>

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<p>@sammielue21: dude, i'm really glad you wrote what you thought about yourself. even though my situation is just a tad different (as i think everyone's is, who agree with you), it is very, very helpful to hear of someone who is at least -recognizing- their worries, etc. i think the same thing as you do, except that i've been going to a cc for 2 years and am going to transfer to a big-time university this fall. i'm really not sure what i'll find myself doing, since i'm not going to have the whole 'i've GOT to get good grades so i can transfer to a good school' thing going on.</p>

<p>anyways, not sure i can offer advice to you. i wish i could, but i get the feeling that this was more of a 'venting' thread anyways. and i just thought i'd throw my couple cents worth of venting in, too. i guess for me, i'm just gonna take it as it comes and assume that there will be a big adjustment period that i will have to go through. i've had some pretty big ups and some pretty big downs in my life and i guess i'll be ok no matter which direction i go in.</p>

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<p>I used the exact some comparison as the one you used in the thread title to describe my transition to someone awhile ago (it's a common phrase, but I know what you mean). I was in pretty much the same position in high school - known as the "crazy smart" one from whom other people asked for help. And yes, the new feeling of anonymity takes some getting used to, but you will get used to it, mostly for the better.</p>

<p>You have to consider this transition as a motivating factor. Other people will be smarter and more talented, so let their actions and intellect motivate you to become more involved and more of an expert on whatever you're interested in. If you really want a college education, then you don't want to be stuck in a place where you're not being challenged by your peers and professors. And often, this involves swallowing your pride and facing your insecurities.</p>

<p>However, you will probably also realize that you have skills and knowledge that other people don't, so that makes you "smarter" than they are in a certain way. Don't rely on other people's praise to give you confidence. While you need to face the fact that some other people are simply more talented, it would be wrong to jump to the conclusion that you are therefore inadequate because you're no longer the best.</p>

<p>When you meet someone whose intellect you admire, try to learn from them rather than resent them. As you rationally know, most people aren't brilliant across all disciplines, so you'll get your chance to shine, too. And when you find your niche, you won't have to worry about not being the best at everything.</p>

<p>I'm not saying you'll never meet anyone who makes you feel ashamed of your own accomplishments, but the majority of the time, you will come to respect and admire these people rather than be merely jealous of them (though I would not recommend this as a constant source of contentment). </p>

<p>Also, there are some incredibly smart people out there who simply lack life skills, whether its common sense or how to interact with others, so if you're ever feeling particularly low and in need of cheer, you can always pat yourself on the back for not being one of them.</p>

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<p>chill dude dont worry soo much</p>