<p>
</p>
<p>Just want to correct that. Your info will be included because you are married. How you file taxes doesn’t have anything to do with it. Married filing separately wouldn’t change anything for finaid.</p>
<p>OP, Just want to throw something out there. My D can go for free to u of Alabama. She’d also do great at Georgetown. Gtown would cost us 260k in today’s dollars. How can gtown possibly be worth it financially for any full pay kid who qualifies for free? Short answer, it’s not. Not unless the first job out of school will be 260k more than the one out of Bama or Temple. </p>
<p>But thats not your situation or mine because we can probably pay something. We dont need to be comparing zero versus 260k. So you know what else brings great returns? Being one of the top kids out of a merit granting school like Scranton or DeSales (Both schools near skiing). There are connected alumni at many schools like these and they are willing and able to help the top grads. </p>
<p>OP, i wanted to toss out one thought here (because i’m struggling with the issue of not qualifying for meaningful aid as well). Say you had decided not to marry and to simply live together for financial reasons. You’d still have a salary of > $150,000 with good savings and only two kids. Even in that situation, you likely wouldn’t have received anything that would have made a substantial difference. I’m bringing this up just to ease your mind on this one issue…you didn’t make a mistake by marrying…you were going to have a big issue either way. </p>
<p>H cannot stop his ex or their children from applying to any schools they like, including expensive private schools.</p>
<p>However, he can tell them quite frankly that regardless of what the school calculates as “available” there will be nothing for them from your income, and possibly nothing left from his meager income either. He should advise them that their best chance to get money for school is at schools that consider only their own parents’ incomes, and not yours (i.e., no NCP Profile schools).</p>
<p>No school can force anyone to contribute a single red cent. You, not the schools, determine what, if anything, you will contribute.</p>
<p>The idea that you should contribute to pay for someone else’s kids is particularly galling in light of the fact that they don’t live with you and you are not raising them. Tell the ex to pound sand.</p>
<p>It seems that your husband needs to help his kid find FAFSA only colleges. Or merit aid. Just because you apply for aid doesn’t mean you get enough.</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with looking at financial viability as part of the formula. You may find hidden gems or something about a college you didn’t know. It doesn’t hurt to have an instate acceptance to consider, April is a long way away. I don’t think there is something so special about colleges that you can’t do just as well at another, personally. It is a luxury and if you can afford it great. My dd got lucky with aid being needed and available when she went, but a selection of instate colleges were first on the list.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Divorce agreements can however require what each parent will be required to contribute. Doesn’t matter where the income comes from in the families.</p>
<p>The government with respect to finaid, many schools and a large segment of society believes that when you marry someone with kids, you are marrying the whole pre-existing situation, not just the spouse. I would have a hard time telling the prior kids of someone I loved and chose to marry to pound sand. </p>
<p>Do you and your husband want to have a relationship with his children? Or their children? Telling your stepchildren to “pound sand” probably won’t be conducive to harmonious family relationships. </p>
<p>Actually, that $30,000 income is not your issue. Plus single parents do not get as significant a asset or income protection. It is your high income that is the issue.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Yes, sadly divorce can’t be horrifically costly. Although you’re certainly no longer paying spousal support if you were once ordered. </p>
<p>I don’t understand the add’l taxes unless it’s because your H’s low income is hit hard…but then his income is more than $15k. </p>
<p>Does your H have to pay half of a private univ? or just a in-state one? And what happens since his ex-wife can’t pay her half? Are all bets off?</p>
<p>You keep saying that your income is going to get counted with step-son’s schools. No it doesn’t. You can refuse to provide that info, and that will shut down any applications to schools that require NCP info. Your H’s income will not count on stepson’s FAFSA. Does Stepson have the stats for top schools? </p>
<p>Your H needs to talk to his son and expose the realities of the situation…HIS mom can’t pay her half, that lets him off the hook. He needs to apply to schools where he’ll get merit or will give him aid based on FAFSA alone.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>This is NOT true for the majority of “first jobs”. Not even true for med school admission.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Neither UVM or Colorado are schools that deserve full OOS pay. No one is saying you should go bargain-basement, but there are HIGHER ranked schools that would be a LOT cheaper. So, if your concern is “college choice matters” than those 2 schools don’t meet that distinction.</p>
<p>^And UVermont, Syracuse, or Colorado will NOT make a difference. Newhouse would make a difference for communications, but that’s it.
Typically a school may make a difference for specific fields (art history, communication, IB, IR) or in relation to the resources it provides (tutors, support, grant/REU advising…) but none of the three schools you listed has any inherent advantage over a top SUNY such as Geneseo or Binghamton beside comfort and support.</p>
<p>The common thread between these three universities, as far as I can tell, is skiing.
If that’s an important factor (and it very well may be), UDenver, St Michael’s, The College of Idaho, Westminster(Utah), University of Wyoming, or Ithaca, would all provide merit aid for stats, depending on stats, even if you don’t qualify for financial aid. Colorado school of mines may also have scholarships, depending on stats, and its work placement rate is impressive (as are grads’ salaries). Lewis&Clark isn’t too far from skiing areas and has merit. </p>
<p>UVermont will be 50K, no financial aid - you’ll have to pay this entirely yourself (except for the $5,500 loan your child will take on.) Colorado - I assume Boulder, not Colorado College?- will be similar.</p>
<p>What are the two boys’ stats (GPA, SAT/ACT score, course rigor)? We could suggest some schools that would be appropriate.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>However, he can tell them quite frankly that regardless of what the school calculates as “available” there will be nothing for them from your income, and possibly nothing left from his meager income either. He should advise them that their best chance to get money for school is at schools that consider only their own parents’ incomes, and not yours (i.e., no NCP Profile schools).</p>
<p>No school can force anyone to contribute a single red cent. You, not the schools, determine what, if anything, you will contribute.</p>
<p>The idea that you should contribute to pay for someone else’s kids is particularly galling in light of the fact that they don’t live with you and you are not raising them. Tell the ex to pound sand.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Yes, the H can tell his kids that if they apply to schools that require NCP info, that you will not be providing FA info so those schools are out. I think that is a legit position to take. Kids don’t have a god-given right to those schools. </p>
<p>Or the H can tell his kids that if NCP info is given, then little/no aid will be granted because you earn too much…yet H will not be paying more than $12k per year (half of a state school). So, that will make those schools off limits. </p>
<p>If the son insists on applying to those few schools, the son could then appeal and ask for a waiver. Sometimes those are granted even with contact. </p>
<p>The bottom line is: you do NOT have to pay for the stepson’s education. Your H can provide what he can (half of a state school or whatever). I would be concerned that the mom will count grants/aid as “her half” and expect your H to pay “his half”…just a heads up. </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>the OP didn’t say that. That was another poster. Either way, there is a firm but not rude way for the H to state that his wife’s income is not available to pay for his son’s education. One doesn’t have to say “pound sand”…one can just say, “Your mom and I are required to split the costs of your college education.” BUT before having that conversation, the H needs to find out if he’s only required to pay for half of a state school? half of tuition of a commutable school? or what?? And, he needs to find out if his obligation is unenforceable if the mom can’t pay her half, which I suspect would be the case…the mom can’t take him back to court if she can’t pay either…dirty hands and all. (although not criminally dirty hands).</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>This is true. I don’t know how much aid Miss Porter’s gave, but I doubt 99% of schools will give your son that much aid. 99% of schools will give your child ZERO need-based aid. </p>
<p>I think you equate schools that would give your son merit aid as bargain basement. That is NOT true. There are schools that are probably higher ranked than UVM and Colorado that would likely give your child merit…if his stats are strong.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>True, but typically the agreements aren’t carte blanche. College requirements are usually spelled out…like half the costs (after aid/merit) of a state school. And, I doubt that would even be enforceable if the mom doesn’t pay her share.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>What are the two boys’ stats (GPA, SAT/ACT score, course rigor)? We could suggest some schools that would be appropriate.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Absolutely… tell us your son’s stats…we can help you. My own kids went to undergrad for practically FREE with merit. Didn’t hurt them at all…One son got into every PhD program he applied to and other son got into half of the med schools he applied to.</p>
<p>I don’t know, it doesn’t seem right that the stepson is not considered like the household’s child. It’d be terribly hurtful to the stepson, unless relationships aren’t amicable or the new mariage took place not long ago.I guess it depends who’s raised whom. But I understand that OP’s income being disclosed will make FA impossible for him. The ideal situation would be something like UChicago plus the FAFSA-only schools, but we don’t know the stepson’s stats,
To me, this is the least hurtful/confrontational scenario:
I can imagine something like:
“Stepmom’s salary will be counted toward your financial aid at some schools called CSS-Profile schools, and she makes too much for you to get ANY financial aid if you apply to a CSS-Profile school. You can apply to one of those, but check whether they have merit scholarships for your stats, as you won’t receive sufficient financial aid to attend even if you’re admitted. Hurry because most deadlines are December 1st. FAFSA-only universities will not take that into account and since your mom makes little you’ll be able to get more financial aid. But run the net price calculators and bring me the results on 4-5 schools you’re interested in so we can talk about that with real numbers.”
Better than “Your stepmom won’t pay for any of your college costs but colleges think she will, so you won’t get any financial aid.” Which is likely to result in an “evil stepmom” post on this website and nothing productive being done by the Dec 1 deadline for merit aid. :)</p>
<p>You said you didn’t feel you could pay the $45K the EFC said would be your responsibility. Colorado will expect that from you and more. There really isn’t much financial aid available. What does Colorado have in common with UVM? Parties and skiing. Both fine schools (and I’m an alum at CU so I certainly think it’s a good school) but unless your son is majoring in aeronautical engineering, almost any other school could give him the same academic challenges and the extra tuition is buying access to skiing and a great atmosphere. It’s great if you can pay for it, but don’t expect others to pay for it. UVM gives a lot more in merit aid to OOS students.</p>
<p>Neither of my kids go to CU because I can’t afford it. I don’t think they’ve settle for second class or inferior schools, we just looked for alternative schools we could afford. If your son goes ahead with Syracuse, UVM, and CU, you’ll be paying full price or close to it. If he is a strong student and will get merit aid, go for it (but he’ll get little from CU). If he’s an okay student and won’t get much merit, try similar schools - Idaho, Utah, Montana, Wyoming in the west or Maine or your home flagship for the east.</p>
<p>I agree with some of the above suggestions that you and your husband sit down with his ex and explain that he won’t have access to your money even if CSS schools think he will. Talk about what he can provide, that ‘half’ doesn’t mean $50k per year, that he really can’t pay more than the child support he has been paying. I’m sure there are plenty of great schools in new england that the step son can go to too. Of course, it won’t look fair if your son goes off to Syracuse at full pay and the step son has to go to community college (wearing rags and walking uphill in the snow both ways). Try to work something out that is fair, or at least explain to the stepson that your son is using his money from SSA and inheritance, borrowing, working to pay his own way.</p>
<p>Well I guess this is off topic from the OP question but you did say the 45 efc is too much. And UVM is 52k oos COA vx UMass instate 23k and that is at least a 100k difference. I don’t think you can say that UMass is a worse school. But it’s your money. We see that a lot of kids want to go oos for college for various reasons like ‘familiarity brings contempt’ and not wanting to go where they might know people. But it doesn’t make a lot of sense financially and there is no difference for jobs with UMass being better at some things like CS and Linguistics that I know of offhand.</p>
<p>Suggesting to tell husbands kids to pound sand? How ugly. I don’t think the OP ever suggested hubby doesn’t care about his kids.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>these things are touchy, I agree. But it doesn’t sound like the OP has been married to her H so long that she would feel any sort of obligation to pay for his son’s college. The stepson doesn’t live with them, either. I doubt that the stepkids are given everything that her kids get. Are his kids going to Miss-Porter-like schools? Probably not. If they all lived in the same household, then things likely would be different, but when step-siblings live in different households, what each gets will be different. </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Probably very true. At a FAFSA only instate school, the stepson probably could get pretty good aid…aid that the OP’s son can’t get. Some of those NE states have pretty good aid for instate low-income students. But the time for your H to talk to your child is NOW…otherwise spring will come and he’ll hand his dad his acceptances and say, “ok, now pay.” (and are you ok with your H taking out large Parent Plus loans to pay for his kids’ college costs? You will be responsible for those loans as his spouse.)</p>
<p>If I am remembering correctly…UVM does give OOS need-based aid to low-income students (I hope I’m remembering that right). If so, then the stepson should apply to that school. </p>
<p>edited to add…I just checked…a low income OOS student would get about $20k in grants if he attended UVM…not bad. If his stats are good enough, he could also get merit. The parents would still have to split the remaining costs. If the stepson is instate for NY, NJ, or Mass, he might get better aid from his own state schools. </p>
<br>
<br>
<p>lol…Is that why the son likes those schools? If so, then the OP needs to either accept that and pay, or tell her son that she’s not paying extra money for those activities. ;)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It’s not OP’s stepson that is interested in UVM (as far as we know), it is OP’s son.</p>
<p>^^
Oh I know that…I was just offering that as a possibility for the SS. Someone said that the SS should be treated like the S…well, if the S goes to UVM at full pay, then the SS could go there for half.</p>
<p>What is the matter with UMASS at instate costs? </p>
<p>What would be the matter with looking at some of those SUNY schools. Even at OOS costs, it would be less costly than the schools listed. </p>
<p>I’m not sure what the OP feels is the strong cache to the three schools listed…especially if they are full freight schools…which she says she cannot afford.</p>
<p>I hope the student is looking carefully at deadlines for applications to be considered for higher merit awards. It would be a shame to miss out on these.</p>
<p>Syracuse, UVM and Colorado do NOT guarantee to meet full need. The minimum this will cost will be the FAFSA EFC which is in the $45,000 range.</p>
<p>Keep in mind…if you get a merit award, it will reduce your financial need. Your merit award will not pay your EFC unless that merit award exceeds the remaining costs.</p>
<p>P.S. I believe your son’s custodial brokerage account and his 529 will need to be listed as assets on his FAFSA as well. </p>
<p>It sounds like a remarriage penalty all around which I think is unfortunate. Not only are you screwed by having to foot all the bills but your stepkids are potentially screwed also because if they are star students who would have gotten into need blind schools with lots of aid, they would have gone to school for free. Instead, they are in the “donut hole” due to your earnings and there is no aid. This was my fear which is why I never remarried.</p>