1 in NYC (so off campus) - former nyc private to boarding (possibly PEA) and the other that was mentioned was L’ville …the latter one is the old one from last year but he former is in the NY papers today :(. too much pressure and stress combining with mental health issues?
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They happen every day in public middle and high schools, too. So are you trying to say there is more pressure in public schools than private?
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Yes, this is the thing. Tragically, this is happening all over the country, in all kinds of schools. There is a mental health crisis among youth. I’m not convinced it’s more common at boarding schools than non boarding schools and haven’t really seen any evidence of that.
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A reminder that CC is meant to be a friendly and welcoming community.
Note that this is officially posted as a moderator and not a suggestion. (I just have lost all my icons and can’t add the staff color).
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I added the color.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
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My son mentioned to me that there was a suicide at Lawrenceville a few days ago. Tragic indeed. This is now the second in less than a year.
I don’t recall the pressure being that intense at Lville, and the House system makes it difficult for students to fall through the cracks. I wonder what is going on.
I know of one recent one but it is not clear if it was suicide or fentanyl poisoning yet. Circumstances suggest either. But I really don’t have the right to name the school but it not the one above.
We had a suicide during Covid in our tiny middle school program. It was awful. It is a pretty harsh program and I do think the teachers relaxed a little. Also, I know a bunch of kids from that year have been much willing to address their struggle with mental health and ask for therapy, etc.
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Adolescent suicides often occur in clusters. It is not that there is something “going on” at the particular location. Instead, the clusters are driven by complex social and psychological factors (which are written about and studied extensively). Rarely is there an underlying, correctible problem at the particular location (ex. L’ville) or general environment (boarding schools) that is at fault. All that said, it is obviously very important to do everything possible to support students at the site and similar environments, to try and stop the cluster behavior.
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It appears there was an Exeter student as well as a Lawrenceville student who died this weekend . Hopefully all of these schools are providing extra resources right now because all though many parents won’t know about these suicides, the kids know kids at other schools and will have heard about this. Not every kid is going to mention it to a parent either.
I wasn’t aware of these recent, tragic deaths until one of my BS children let me know. They discussed it in small groups. I don’t know the best way for schools to address it other than transparency with families that it’s sadly happening everywhere including recently at boarding schools and what they’re doing to up their support of all students. Knowing your child is struggling, alone and far away from home is always scary and sad, even if it’s “just a breakup” or bad grade in a class, but most of us could not imagine our child being so sad and feeling so hopeless. We all re-shifted during the quarantine and need to get back to the ultimate goal is doing our best to raise happy, productive and kind young people. I’m sure we’re all checking in more and doing our best to show more grace to our children and more importantly encouraging them to do the same for themselves!
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Just saw the post and obituary! I hope everyone in their family is doing well. Please check in with anyone you know, you never know what someone is going through!
Resources: mental health carrd.
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Not AT Lawrenceville but a Lawrenceville student, yes. Exeter as well. Devastating.
Yes, not on campus.
Heartbreaking. Obviously can happen anywhere.
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Just received this… These schools need to take it down a notch, as I believe, they are the ones really turning on the pressure and driving these kids to do the unthinkable. To me, this is totally on Exeter:
Dear Parents and Guardians,
Thank you for your continued interest in Phillips Exeter Academy. It is an honor to partner with you as you explore your educational choices for your child.
I am writing today to share some very sad news that has recently impacted the Exeter community. I am not sending this letter to your child as I felt it best to leave it up to you to determine when and how you would like to share this information. I realize some of you may already be aware of this news, but I wanted to send this to all parents and guardians who have a child applying to Exeter.
Two weeks ago, one of our current students died by suicide. Nothing can prepare a community for such a tragedy. Our focus since then has been centered on supporting the family of the student who died, as well as our students, staff, and faculty. In any community a loss like this is felt deeply, but perhaps even more so in a residential community such as Exeter.
The family of the student recently held a memorial service which was attended by many members of our community. I wanted to wait until this service had concluded before sharing this news with all of you.
I thought it would be helpful to host a webinar for prospective parents and guardians on Wednesday, February 8th at 7:00 PM EST. Out of respect for the family who has suffered this unimaginable loss, we will not share specifics about the student. However, we would welcome an opportunity to address questions you may have about how we have worked with our community over the past two weeks and, more broadly, about how we support our students every day. This webinar will include members of our administrative team as well as our school Principal, Bill Rawson. I do hope you will be able to join us so that we can address your questions.
This is my friend’s nephew. It has been absolutely devastating for their family. I am heartbroken for them.
I’m so sorry. I lost my nephew to suicide in 2015. He was 20. Our family will never be the same. He was a bright, seemingly happy kid about to study economics in Wales for a semester.
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Suicide is awful…and complex. It is never totally on anyone or anything. It is no more “totally on” Exeter or Lawrenceville for the recent tragic losses in those communities than it is on Goldman Sachs for the suicide of an investment banker. Suicide is actually more common in environments that aren’t “turning on the pressure” in the way you’re referring to. Suicide rate is inversely related to income level.
The Exeter community needs to focus on support, not unfair blame.
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