So I’ll be attending Lawrenceville as a day student next year, but a friend of mine (who used to live on campus; mom was a former teacher/housemaster there) wasn’t too excited about it. When I asked him why, he told me about how much of a high pressure environment, describing it as “destroying your hobbies due to the immense focus on schoolwork” and how he’s seen “students that have had nervous breakdowns and had to leave school due to their brains getting messed up from the stress.” Although he claims I’ll do fine (we’ve known each other for 9 years), I’m still a bit worried. Has anyone else had any experiences like this?
Congratulations to you! I know almost nothing about Lawrenceville but just wanted to say that that was a thoughtless and un- gracious thing to say to a newly-accepted student. I have no idea if it’s true, but part of the BS experience is finding the right balance for you. Best wishes to you.
Let’s face it - students everywhere wreck their brains to get into college. That’s just the reality. I will give you an example of an average student in Beijing. His daily commute time alone would total 4 hours. He takes 15 subjects per semester and learns in a classroom of 60~70 students. He canot hope to ask questions individually to a teacher. If he cannot understand something, he would just have to memorize. He wakes up at 4 am and goes to sleep at midnight. His hobby? Study.
Compared to this, BS sounds like a heaven to me. BS provides an insulated, artificial learning environment conducive to self-development. You can do everything in one place. Zero commuting time. You sleep 8 hours. You are encouraged to ask questions. You have 5 kids in your class. Your teacher holds a Ph.D. You swim, debate, play ice-hockey in the same day.
What more could you want?
First - you will be attending a wonderful school. Congrats!
Your experience and journey in high school will be what you make of it. Your choice of how to approach that journey would be no different at your local public school, but you will certainly have more opportunities at Lville than your LPS.
Such decisions about approach will not limited to high school, so get used to it. You’ll make the same types of decisions over and over. How are you going to approach college, graduate school, professional school, your job, your marriage, being a parent, etc. Strictly results driven? Experiential? Or both?
If ALL you care about is getting into an Ivy college and you mold your life to that unwavering expectation, than fall in line with the others willing to sacrifice their mental health and valuable high school experience to attempt to do so.
If instead, you care about embracing learning (for its own sake, not strictly for grades), trying (and sometimes graciously failing at) new experiences, contributing broadly to the Lville community and making lifelong friendships…than your brains (and heart and soul) will be intact.
There is no foregone conclusion about what will happen to you at Lville. It will be what you make of it.
Sometimes people say things because they have an alternate agenda. Perhaps he applied and wasn’t accepted. Perhaps his parent thought the kids s/he taught weren’t gracious or any of a number of things. What’s important is that you have an excellent opportunity at a great school. Enjoy it and try to let the comments run off your back.
Are you going to revisit day? I think attending classes, talking to teachers and current students will give you a good idea what you are in for. If you want to get an A+in every single class you take at prep school you will probably have a lot of stress and not a ton of time for hobbies. My guess is that there a several kids like that at every school (including many public schools). Im fairly sure that you will be able to strike a balance if that’s the attitude to go in with.
I’m sorry your enthusiasm got stomped on.
@confusedaboutFA did you see the Lawrenceville thread with current students willing to answer questions?
Happytimes: He didn’t apply (not the type for that school), and he’s been telling me stuff like this about the school before I even began considering applying to a private HS.
Dogsmama: I already have multiple friends who are current students, and none of them echo this sentiment.