Boarding school questions

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

<p>I recently stumbled upon this website and I was hoping that some of the posters would kindly give me their perspective on boarding school as a parent.</p>

<p>I'm currently the guardian for my youngest brother. He's presently in seventh grade and is a student at a private day school here in New York. However, his school only runs through the eighth grade and we'll have to begin looking for a new spot for him next year. I recently learned that some of his friends have expressed a desire to go to boarding school and, at first, I was wary of this idea. Nevertheless, his grades are very good, I'm quite young and I promised him that I'd look into the possibility.</p>

<p>Having said that, I find the whole boarding school selection process baffling. I've had a lot of suggestions about where he should apply, but every school sounds relatively the same once you divorce the prestige of the school from the academic quality of the school. I was therefore wondering if you would give me some guidance on the following questions:</p>

<p>a) Is "fit" important and, if so, what constitutes a "good" fit versus a "bad" fit? How important is a student's personality to a school?</p>

<p>b) Are there any outward benefits to be had by attending a smaller school versus a larger one?</p>

<p>c) In your personal experience, are there any schools that you would suggest outwardly avoiding?</p>

<p>d) What factors chose you to select a boarding school over your local day school. Assuming that the resources of the two were relatively equal, would you still choose to send your child to board?</p>

<p>e) In your experience, what has been your child's most positive experience at boarding school? Conversely, what was his or her most negative experience?</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

2

<p>a) Is “fit” important and, if so, what constitutes a “good” fit versus a “bad” fit? How important is a student’s personality to a school?
Answer: Yes. If your brother is earthy, you might want a more liberal, earthy, artsy boarding school. If your brother is more traditional and sporty, you would want that fit. Of course, there is everything in between!</p>

<p>b) Are there any outward benefits to be had by attending a smaller school versus a larger one? Answer: I am a fan of smaller schools because I like intimate environments and sports where often there are no cuts and less competition. My husband prefers the opposite. In the end, we went with what fit our child</p>

<p>c) In your personal experience, are there any schools that you would suggest outwardly avoiding? Answer:Hmmm…again, I think it depends on the child and what you and they want.</p>

<p>d) What factors chose you to select a boarding school over your local day school. Assuming that the resources of the two were relatively equal, would you still choose to send your child to board? Answer: I went to boarding school and have one away now. Big thing is that they need to WANT to go. Some are ready for the independence, some want more challenges, some are super social and want to live with peers. Our oldest wanted more of a challenge and was ready to spread her wings. Our other has no desire to go to bs and we will not send him. I remember some Unhappy kids in my day who were sent away to our school rather than choosing to be at our school.</p>

<p>e) In your experience, what has been your child’s most positive experience at boarding school? Conversely, what was his or her most negative experience? Answer: For me and my daughter boarding school brought learning to a new level, academically, socially and on every front. I remember the worse part for me was missing out on some things at home with elderly relatives and younger cousins (last days and weeks before someone passed away, fun times with cousins and seeing their growth). For my daughter, she misses having her own room…a lot! </p>

<p>One factor we considered more than most was distance. I was very far from home and never got home other than school breaks while some friends could get home for a weekend or even day. I envied them. My daughter is just over 2 hours away and that has been great.</p>

3

<p>

There are the more obvious “fit” issues related to the child’s interests, i.e., if the child is passionate about equestrian pursuits, then you should be looking at schools with horses. </p>

<p>There are the “soft” issues, one of which you have already mentioned: personality. A shy, quiet child might fare better in a smaller, more intimate setting, where ‘everybody knows your name’. </p>

<p>Then there is “fit” related to academic ability. Too many kids pursue admission into the uber-intense schools, not really thinking about how ably they will compete in the school once they are in there. It would not be a pleasant time in BS being in the bottom half of the class ranking. A recurring problem I observe on the CC boards is over-reach-- nice kids with middling academic profiles who apply to the most academically selective schools that accept only 1-in-8 applicants, with no special “hooks” in their CV to distinguish them from the other 2000 kids who apply-- their admissions outcomes are not happy ones. </p>

<p>I recommend that your brother take the SSAT test early as a diagnostic assessment. If you decide to apply to the most selective group of schools, bear in mind that your brother will be competing in a int’l arena of applicants. Do not underestimate the competition.</p>

<p>There is “fit” according to maturity. At the most selective schools, there are a high number of “repeat” students, i.e. they deliberately apply for one grade younger. This is a “red-shirting” strategy to give child an academic, social, & athletic/physical advantage. Girls also “repeat”. If your brother is young or small for his age, you might want to consider repeating. There is no stigma to repeating in a prep school- colleges do not look negatively upon this. Applying as a “repeat” can also give you a competitive advantage in the applications rat race. Some school will even recommend that a child apply as a repeat. This is an issue you can discuss at the interview. </p>

<p>

I already mentioned a plus with a small school. </p>

<p>Larger schools generally can offer more things on account of economies of scale. e.g. broader academic offerings. Also, they will have more competitive athletic teams, because they have a large pool of students to draw from. The downside of a large schools is that it may be more challenging to stand out from the crowd academically & athletically, because there are more kids competing—kids that were stars in their middle school are often humbled going to a big school.</p>

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</p>

<p>There are different types of BS. There are College Preparatory schools, i.e. “prep schools”, and there are Therapeutic Schools. These are schools that specialize in helping kids with learning issues (ADHD, etc.) and with behavioral problems (a.k.a. “reform school”). Then there are Military Schools which can be the college preparatory type or the therapeutic type. There are co-ed schools and single sex. Religious-affiliated schools and secular schools. FYI, the elite college preparatory schools that have a historical religious affiliation are not going to shove religion down the kids throats—so don’t’ let that deter you from considering them. </p>

<p>

Is your brother “the only child” now, i.e. does he have siblings close to his age at home? He might find it appealing to have a band of brothers at BS. </p>

<p>The resources of a top day school are no where close to the resources of a top BS.</p>

<p>FYI, this is a good place to start:
[Boarding</a> School Review - College-Prep & Jr. Boarding Schools | BoardingSchoolReview.com](<a href=“http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/]Boarding”>http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/)</p>

4

<p>If your brother is in 7th grade in a NYC school that only goes through 8th, we may assume that you have had by now(Spring Break) at least one group session with the school about the ongoing school process and at least one private meeting where you were given suggestions of which schools to visit, based on your brother’s scores and grades. Advice given should be pretty decent as you have no choice but to leave the current school in a year. If you feel that whomever you met with, didn’t do a very good job, please do ask for a meeting with your brother’s advisor or a favorite teacher. They may have good insight for you.</p>

5

<p>I think this thread
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1434118-i-dont-know-how-fit-works-really.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1434118-i-dont-know-how-fit-works-really.html&lt;/a&gt;
has a lot of good ideas about what to look for in a school. It should be helpful to you whether your brother heads to boarding school or a local high school.</p>

<p>We did not have the option of a high quality local school so I had to think about that. One of the benefits of BS is that during the turbulent teen years, at BS all the kids are more or less on the same page–same curfew, same study hours, same responsibilty for chores, same allowance even (at least at some schools).</p>

6

<p>The Association of Boarding Schools has a directory that you can get a free copy of.</p>

<p><a href=“https://www.boardingschools.com/find-a-school/explore-your-options/request-a-free-directory.aspx[/url]”>https://www.boardingschools.com/find-a-school/explore-your-options/request-a-free-directory.aspx&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I haven’t seen it, although I used a guide like that quite a few years ago when my much older child applied to BS in pre-internet days. I found it useful for making a first cut and finding out about schools in general.</p>

7

<p>Don’t forget, thought, that “fit” is a two-way thing. From my limited experience, the kids who are independent, self-motivated, outgoing, and eager learners are the ones who thrive in BS.</p>

8

<p>I am curious about where your brother lives now, given that you are the guardian. I would think his home situation would be a major factor in considering boarding.</p>

9

<p>By “where your brother lives now”, I meant, “with whom”, the whole home situation.</p>

10

<p>wsa512, you’ve got your research work cut out for you. I have learned quite a bit from a poster named ExieMITAlum. Hopefully, she will see your post and provide invaluable words of wisdom. In the meantime, try and research some of her many posts. I think you will find her knowledge base extensive from a practical and theoretical viewpoint. Good luck!</p>

11

<p>Assuming you live in NYC with your brother, you have a wealth of choices. </p>

<p>1) try the wonderful test entry schools in NY like Sty and save the money for college.
2) Maybe apply for the Bradley scholarship - only open to 7th graders and covers 4 yrs of HS tuition anywhere
3) Look at the wonderful NY private schools</p>

<p>Boarding may free you up (you mention you are young) from the day to day supervision of your younger brother. While the schools all look very much alike on paper, visits make it clear that there are large differences in “feel”, and some schools get crossed off the list as not a good fit after a visit. Many are discussed on these boards, (search for “schools you crossed off the list after visiting” thread, but it is a very personal reaction and choice.</p>