DW guys. I did my tour like three months ago. I was kinda dry though. When I meet new people that’s what happens.
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Great! Thanks for sharing this. May I ask what school does your child go to?
It’s telling, however, in how much negative parental involvement the school will have to likely deal with. Not fair for the child, however, not fair for the school and those involved with the child either, to have to deal with said parent for the next (possibly) 4 years.
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Also had a group tour at Choate. Only one other family but they were, as the kids say, cringe. The dad in particular. Wow. I practically wept for his daughter. She was rightfully mortified.
Other schools were private.
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I think it is exception, not rule, that it is evaluative. That said, I always went in to it assuming it was evaluative (and told kid to do the same!). I do think, in many cases, if you are off-the-charts annoying or do something crazy the student tour guide will probably report back even if not formal evaluation process.
At one boarding school, my kid had private tour with a student. Simultaneously us parents had a parents tour with a current parent and one other set of parents. So wasn’t either/or. (Current parent told us first thing it was NOT evaluative and that she didn’t report to admissions).
The other boarding schools we visited it was a “standard” private tour.
Day schools had a some different/unusual formats. One you can’t tour until you apply and it is a tour + day-long visit with a writing evaluation. Other was a group tour only. Other was private…
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Well, it’s telling if the parent is a pain, and most schools filter for that during the parent interview and in subsequent interactions with the parent.
But a kid may choose to be quiet or withdrawn in the company of a parent because of their dynamics – even if all are great, agreeable folks. Really, quite normal at this age. Or if the parents are very critical of their kid. Shouldn’t count against the kid!
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Taft we had a summer group tour in 2021. Cranbrook had a big open house event but then a private tour.
The rest of schools were all private tours. Usually admissions did half the summer tours in 2021.
If other people can see or hear you, it can be evaluative.
Even in the waiting room. The walls may have ears; it’s not part of the interview, but that doesn’t mean that your behavior won’t be noticed if there’s something worth noticing.
Be kind.
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Well if the parent dynamics are prone to an acrid environment be it in a tour or then parent interview, etc, it WILL count against the kid considering the kid is applying to the school. If they don’t want to deal with the parents then how to you suggest the school divorce the child from them? If they admit the kid, the school will likely have to deal with the aggressive, overzealous, helicopter and the kid’s mental well-being from said dynamic which will not end the day they have drop off in the Fall. So yeh, it very much so would count against the kid if the school does not want to have that relationship with parents/families.
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Indeed it is. I just spoke to a friend of mine who is a member of the “Tour Guide Council” (i.e. one of the school’s go-to guides). He said he never offers opinions on any student, either.
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I’m talking about parent child dynamics that impact how the child behaves when the parent is present. Kid wants to know about trying out for crew and parent wants kid to remain all in with current sport, for example, so kid just doesn’t ask about sports.
Some colleges tour parents and students separately for precisely this reason.
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Sure but in college, except for maybe the first few months, a student will typically be over 18 and the uni has no need to interact with the parent no matter how much the parent tries to intervene. Apples and oranges.
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Agree 100%. I meant it is rare for it to be formally evaluative, like above example, where the guides have a form to fill out and are asked to evaluate all candidates, which sounds like it probably goes in candidates file. It may be more common than I think, but not what I have been told/observed/heard.
Admissions, staff and faculty definitely are certainly observing, and may give informal feedback, discuss candidates etc. You should act like people are listening, as I said.
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We also toured a school that had my son go with a student and I went with a current parent (probably the same school!) It was actually one of our favorite tours. They had obviously read some of my son’s info and paired him with the head of a club he is interested in, so the tour was tailored to his interests. And I appreciated the info on what it was like to be a current parent, and my parent tour guide also happened to be an alum so she had a lot of really great info.
Our other tours were a mix of group and private, but the group ones were never more than one or two other families, they weren’t huge groups.
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I agree! I liked they split us up too! Our parent tour guide was great as well, wasn’t an alum but she had 3 kids go there over the years so had a wealth of knowledge of a wide variety of sports, activities and teachers.
This isn’t about the school interacting with the parent. It’s who the kid is in the presence of the parent. The school will not be dealung with THAT kid, but the kid alone.
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The only school we toured that specifically indicated the tour guide would submit an evaluation was DA. All the others noted that no feedback was being officially given by tour guides.
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Our tours were split- some were alone, some with just another family, some group.
Choate - group
Lawrenceville - group
Andover - group
Exeter- another family
I think a good rule of thumb is always to assume someone is watching. Also be mindful of the conversation you have in the waiting areas. My daughter and I were shocked at what kids and their parents were saying while visiting at a school.
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Also be mindful of the conversation you have in the waiting areas.
This! And bathrooms.
A former AO laughs about going to the ladies’ room in the admissions building and hearing a prospective student and her mom talking about how they were doing the visit just in case none of their other schools worked out.
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My daughter did all her tours on her own. I know she is more talkative and inquisitive when I am not around so I always just stayed back and let her do her thing. She is confident and she knows what she wants from a school, so I was not worried about not going with her. She always filled me in after each tour about what she liked and/or did not like.
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