I was wondering if anyone had any boarding schools that are really accepting of lgbtq people, I know most schools have some sort of club for them, but I would like to go to one that has an accepting community. Obviously, there always will be people who are not, but if you have any schools in mind I would love to hear about them. I’m mainly interested in all-girl schools but I’m open to both and am either looking for a good stem program or good arts program (or both).
The two schools I am most familiar with, Hotchkiss and Millbrook, are both extremely accepting of LGBTQ students. Hotchkiss has a gender neutral dorm.
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Concord Academy
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Of the girls schools, Emma Willard is a wonderful environment. You may also want to consider looking at Mercersburg, Concord, Putney, Andover, Exeter, and Hotchkiss (see above posts). You can go on the website and check out the relevant LGBTQ student alliances - also try to find issues of the school newspapers online for relevant articles (eg housing/dorms/inclusion/programming).
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Check out Westover. They are very accepting of the LGBTQ community.
Honestly, I’d expect most schools to be very accepting of LGBTQ kids. The exception might be a school like The Salisbury School, which does not have a gay student group. (I asked if they did on my school tour, given by the lacrosse coach, who seemed nonplussed by my question).
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I’d also check out the queerat___ accounts on Instagram if the schools have them! Obviously, they’re not universal stories, but I think they’re pretty helpful!
I agree that most schools are very accepting. Your generation has really led the way on this, and the administrations followed. As kiddo observed, he has never known a time when lgbtq marriage wasn’t legal, and he can’t fathom why anyone would have a problem with it.
I can speak only to Cate, for which my (parent-of-a-cis-male-and-I-don’t-live-there) impression is that it is almost a non-issue in the best possible way. Students are very supportive of each other, especially when someone comes out. I can’t say there aren’t some students who aren’t as comfortable with it as others, but overall schools are very supportive.
The main problem (and it is a big one) Cate has is that the dorms are segregated and binary. That is more of an architectural and size issue, and the school is working on a solution, with student input. As a tiny school, on a campus with no room to expand, honoring everyone’s dorm needs is harder, I think. That is probably a common issue, and worth asking about.
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Wait, wouldn’t your kid be around six then? I am genuinely asking, I’m confused.
He is 17 now. So about that. He wasn’t paying attention to lgbtq issues when he was 6. 
Eta: which isn’t to say he wasn’t aware. He had more than one friend with two mommies in kindergarten. Nobody ever suggested it was weird or noteworthy.
Oh, yes, that makes sense! Sorry haha.
George School, they one I know best, is very welcoming. Check it out!
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I actually disagree that most schools are accepting of LGBTQ kids. I think on the surface most schools are accepting and the faculty is almost universally wonderful. But at a few of the schools listed I have witnessed uncomfortable situations between a student who was LGBTQ and a group of athletes. I think there is still a lot of iffiness with this within the student body.
If this is really important to you I would stick to a list where people can vouch that the core of the student body is LGBTQ embracing. I live in MA, in an area with LOTS of these schools, there is a reason my only recommendation was CA.
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Agree with @one1ofeach . You will need to do your research on this.
This makes me sad. I am so freaking oblivious.
I don’t want California to be a bubble, esp on this. We are all works in progress (I have a colleague I adore whose preferred pronoun is “they” and I can’t for the life of me get it right), but kindness and decency should not be hard.
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Here is an article about Lawrenceville from the school newspaper with some perspectives:
http://www.thelawrence.org/articles/937
The House System is definitely very cis and heteronormative. I have observed many similar tensions to those described in the article within my social interactions. Two weeks ago (during our LGBT Pride Week) some anonymous reflections from LGBTQ+ students were shared, and many were horrifying.
@Calliemomofgirls, @one1ofeach was referring to Concord Academy (CA), not California.
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The Cambridge School of Weston has also historically had a pretty accepting student body.
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@stalecookies yes, you’re right. I often forget that school because in my mind it’s a day school. With only 30% boarding it is barely a boarding school but would be a great school for some kids. Have heard nothing but great things and I know some impressive kids who went there.
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I wouldn’t say most school but many are. You should include Peddie in your research. They are adding a gender neutral dorm and lgbtq+ diversity is reflected in the faculty.
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