My daughter is in 6th grade. She is a gifted child and would like to attend boarding school when it’s time. Wondering what can I do in the next 3 years to make her a competitive applicant-
Her first time taking the isse this year - 6.6 8. 9
She plays competitive squash and swims
I know we have 3 years to go. But sometimes it’s better to have a plan! Please don’t judge!
@houstonmama no judgment here. As a mom of 4 almost grown PG kids, I was always planning the next school move as they grew up. Here are my tips to keep her mentally stimulated over the next few years, which will make her a great applicant and community member of a BS- and if she is in 6th grade you really only have a year and a half left till her application cycle would begin.
We had never considered BS until we heard about PEA when our oldest started at a LDS midway through 7th grade- we had been homeschooling. Fortunately we had already unknowingly been developing well rounded kids who were good candidates and all ended up at BS. Good luck!
Thank you for the helpful comment. We live in an area where merit doesn’t matter. She published a book, frequently writes for magazines and also helps in the community. She was waitlisted for all the middle schools she applied for. As you can imagine she is devasted. She wants to plan ahead for high school.
Do you think coming from private or public school matter in the admissions?
I’m not sure that the type of school (public or private) matters much. The way it would most likely have an impact is if one is large and impersonal and the other isn’t. I might try to better understand what hurt her in her middle school admissions cycle.Were the schools a good fit for her? Did they have the support to work with gifted kids, was it a lottery system, was it based on needing Financial aid. Without understanding why you had poo results last time, it makes it more difficult to fill in the gaps for highs school. Our kids went to public school/magnet school for middle school before attending BS.
The schools we applied to pick siblings and legacies first. They have 50 spots to fill from 300 applications. Preference is given to sibling, legacies and people with contacts. I think she had a perfect application. She is a little reserved. So the interview may not have been her best performance. That’s an area we need to work on. Besides, the school is also a B- for diversity. That could be a factor too? It’s hard to tell because spots go to legacies and there may have been more legacies and siblings this year.
We have some great magnet school options so we are going with those. I feel that sometimes a large school do not do justice with recommendations. They hardly know the child while they fill the recommendation forms.
Do boarding schools prefer SSAT or ISEE?
She is passionate about creative writing - Recently self published her own chapter book. Does that help or should she write for competitive magazines?
Boarding schools prefer the SSAT.
No. My son did public school K-8. Like colleges, BSs want to see that a child made the most of their opportunities. They want to see that the child took challenging courses and stood out to their teachers (via LORs).
While it’s good to have some idea of things that may “look good” to BSs, it’s better to focus on building a great kid, not a great application. The former is actually much more likely to get in…and succeed at a BS. A child does not have to participate in and excel at everything (sports, music, art, STEM, volunteering, club president, etc.). Dabbling in many things is good to help them figure out what they enjoy, but then its better if they get really good at one or two things and maybe can be a contributor (but not a stand-out) in one or two more things. But they should do the things that they want to do, not just what somebody thinks a BS will want.
Also, the best way for any kid to get good at testing is practice testing, in general. That means doing any standardized testing offered at school and getting involved in testing through a regional talent search organization. When kids have been taking the PSAT, SAT and ACT since 3rd grade, they can usually post some pretty strong SSAT and ISEE scores with little to no preparation.
The fact that she was waitlisted at all of her middle school targets is something you need to consider. I know how frustrating that can be. My younger son had the same experience when he applied for several competitive middle schools - he got a series of polite offers to join waitlists. Fortunately he ended up in a great place and ultimately did well in the admission process for high school. But at the time he was heartbroken as I am sure your daughter is right now.
I am concerned by your statement that you thought her application was perfect. I’ll be brutally honest and point out that those 6’s in her ISEE scores are not competitive. That aspect at least was not perfect and there may be others. There are many non-siblings, non-legacies and people without “connections” who get accepted to competitive schools. After our son got shut out, we took a step back and tried to evaluate what happened and make adjustments. You need to do the same. Consider her strengths and weaknesses as objectively as you can. How are her grades? Sounds like she has great ECs but is she doing those to the exclusion of the academic fundamentals? That is not uncommon with smart kids who may be bored in school.
Writing a book is cool but pulling straight A’s in English, being an active participant in class, and showing that she can work with others on the yearbook or the school paper are even better. Instead of trying to shoot for the moon with some big accomplishment, she should focus on being a good student and an active member of her school community.
I also agree with the suggestion above to do test prep. Standardized testing is a skill that can be developed with practice. She has tons of time so no need to go crazy but getting some practice problems from prep books and doing timed practice tests would be time well spent.
Thank you for all the great recommendations.
I completely agree that the 6s on her ISEE May have been the reason for her waitlists. She gets straight As on her grades and is loved by her teachers. She just wasn’t used to timed test taking environment. She took the PSAT this year and plans to take it for practice every year. We may even add one SSAT or ISEE every year to evaluate her weaknesses. Overall, she is a great kid. Just a little demotivated because she did not get into the school of her choice. Then she found out that her best friend who is 3 years older got accepted into PEA. The same thing happened to her 3 years ago where she was rejected by these local elite private schools. She worked hard and got into the best school in the country. The same schools rejected her application again this year for 9th grade with perfect 9s.
Thank you for all the suggestions. Much appreciated!
You might look into regional talent searches and see if your daughter qualifies. Our kids took the full ACT/ SAT starting in 6th grade through talent search programs: CTY - Johns Hopkins center for talented youth when we lived on the east coast and CBK - center for bright kids when we lived on the west coast. Our younger kids did the Explore ACT test starting in 3rd grade through CBK. They all did extremely well on the SSAT and ACT for college. I do believe the exposure to these tests st a young age was extremely helpful. We also shared their awards they received from the talent searches with the BS to which they applied, which definitely helped with admissions.
I am going to throw something out there without knowing you so please if it doesn’t apply just ignore. It’s come to my attention because of a friend in the field and multiple kids I know.
I think sometimes very accomplished kids and parents can come across as a little prickly or scratchy. These schools are looking for the super smart, super ec, but also super humble, super compassionate kid. That is often a hard package. I know a lot of parents of great kids who would show some abrasive ness over the course of a 30 minute interview. The pup has a good friend who is a smart kid, pretty good athlete, but omg, listening to him talk about how great he is can be annoying even for me. I’m sure he did not have the best interview prep so perhaps some of that came through.
Just wanted to mention that because I know several people who said something similar “we had a perfect application” type of statement and I can 100% understand why their kids weren’t accepted.
Possibly it would help to have a consultation with a private school consultant who might be able to help you focus on a list of schools that will fit your daughter well for highschool.
As far as going forward. Squash is a hot sport right now for recruitment (what season is that in highschool? If it’s the same as swimming that’s tough. Schools LOVE the two sport athlete). I’d have her focus on getting to be top of the state in squash.
I think some sort of ec that is arts focused is a great addition for an athlete. What’s your daughter interested in arts wise, either music or visual? Even if this is more recreational. My daughter’s arts involvement is meditative not serious or intense.
Do you have any good community service organizations around? Have your daughter get involved with one or two. As the parent of a kid who is super busy with sports and driven in school I know this can be hard. We are lucky that our school system and club sport offer community service opportunities.
Create excellent relationships with teachers. I actually believe that this is sometimes overlooked and kids think “it is what it is”. The first day of 8th grade I told the pup to make sure that her teachers loved her and would go to bat for her. You want teachers to be excited to do a recommendation for your daughter, not see it as a chore. The pup put in extra time early in the year to get to know and develop close bonds with her teachers.
Thanks! @dogsmama1997 I don’t think she comes out as abrasive. If anything, I think she undersells herself and doubts her abilities. She plays squash and swims Year around. She competes in local
Swim team once a year. Her squash coaches want her to compete in local squash tournaments. We just haven’t looked into it yet. I will be looking into community services.
For art she plays piano. She enjoys playing. She also started taking an exam called ABRSM which grades on the piano skills. We had her take that so we can see her progress. She did well on that exam.
Like someone mentioned above , end of the day we want an all rounded and “happy”kid. I’m not going to go crazy about these suggestions. Just something to consider for the next round of applications in 3 years. For now we will stick to our magnet schools for middle school. I hope to get a good teacher in 8th. Our schools are over crowded and the parents apply to so many schools that the teachers do see it as a chore. Hope that will change! Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. Much appreciated!
Also: There are LOTS of amazing boarding schools out there. But people tend to only know the names of the oldest, most famous schools. I’m sure you can find a wonderful boarding school where your daughter will be both nurtured AND challenged. The girls schools are especially good (and not as hard to be admitted to)…
Your daughter will definitely get into boarding school when the time comes if you cast a wide enough net and consider schools off the beaten path. I don’t say that because of anything you’ve written, but because there is a school for everyone if you go out and search for it. It might be one you’ve never considered or never heard of, but if your goal is to go to a boarding school, it is out there.
If you are asking if she’ll be accepted by the schools most often talked about here, then no one can really tell you that answer. As someone that is constantly evaluating (non-boarding) schools for a position I hold, I can tell you that I can easily name a dozen schools that I absolutely love that are barely mentioned here and I don’t think anyone has listed that they applied to them this cycle.
Our son started the process in 6th grade by reaching out to prep coaches in his sport. If she has real talent in the arts or athletics a yearly email to the coaches/directors/advisors is a good introduction. To follow-up a year later shows true interest. As you approach the 8th grade year, start practice test prep and practice interview skills. A few rounds of talking about yourself is a huge edge for kids who do not sit regularly one on one with an adult and talk about their lives.
We also did a slow roll into that world for our son (he is the first in our family to go prep and in the end was accepted to a “top” school). In 6th grade it was, This could be a fit for you. In 7th, You need to consider joining Student Council and NJHS and keep your grades up. In 8th, Do you REALLY want to apply and put in all the effort that goes with it?
The message was also, You probably won’t get it, if you do we probably can’t afford it, and IF that all works out you don’t NEED to go. Never any pressure. Made a huge difference.
Then you need to honestly consider her ability to essentially live as an independent college student. As others said there is a fit for all. Andover, Exeter, SPS, etc…they are extreme for expectations, opportunities, and pressure. One of our children is thriving in one of those schools. Our younger son will look at other quality options but not there. If he got in due to his brother’s success it would not be the right academic fit. Our son’s good friend is at a “top 100” school, so to speak, and has the same benefits with a more reasonable academic demand.
We figured all of this out online and at times made errors. We are not from this world though it all worked out in the end. I’d be happy to talk more in a message for anyone in a similar situation.
My daughter is entering a competitive public magnet school for middle. Do you think that matters in their prep? I know someone from a smaller private school who was accepted to PEA. Could she have an edge ( top of class in smaller private schools ) compared to larger public schools where the teachers may not write good letters as they don’t even know the child well?
Also, does sending them to summer at Andover or pea or any schools help? I can think of some pros-
She is athletic, however the school she got into for middle is known for its academics. It’s not known for sports. She will have to do her sports outside school. How much of that is important ?
@houstonmoma Our kid attended an enormous and mediocre urban middle school and still managed to get admitted to a boarding school with a single digit acceptance rate, so yes, it can be done.
But I highly recommend broadening your school search to find the very best fit. Kids are more likely to excel and thrive at a school that is right for them than at a school that was chosen just because it is prestigious or well known. And guess what? They are more likely to be admitted, too, if they are the kind of kid the AOs know will fit in and do well at their particular school.
Also: Is she at all interested in other musical instruments? It might be fun for her to learn a string or wind instrument so she can contribute to a school’s musical ensemble.
Might she enjoy other team sports, too? Both experiences (playing in a musical ensemble and joining a team sport) help teach valuable skills in terms of collaboration and EQ. They also give her more ways to contribute to her future school.