<p>All 3 of S’s have boomeranged once or even twice. All had trouble finding work that paid enough to move out. Now all are out and living on their own. Somethings just take time. DD does not intend to move home when she graduates, but if things change or she needs to the next year, she is welcome while she gets her feet back under her, too. It’s not always so strange. My brother moved back with my mom during one transition. That was many years ago, too.</p>
<p>This article strikes terror in my heart. I so want the kids launched ASAP…what was that about butterflies and wings? (but cash flow…eek…another matter!)</p>
<p>Oldest D got out in '07 & has never lived with us. D#2 got out in '09 & lived in apts & worked a temporary high paying job at H’s company. She went out to CA at end of Aug with boyfriend. Is flying back Sat night so she can go back to work at H’s company on Monday morning! This position should last about 3 months, H said. </p>
<p>So maybe we had an empty nest for 7 weeks or so! I am happy she is coming back!
Two others are in college. </p>
<p>I suppose if you are a “Boomer” and in the “Sandwich Generation” then your children & your aging parents are always on your mind!</p>
<p>My middle child lived here (along with his fiance’) for one year before they married in order to save money and we were thrilled with the arrangement. Our daughter lived here around two months after graduation until she moved into her apartment and started her PhD program. </p>
<p>If you have the room and your kids are living in the area and need some financial help, it just makes sense to do this for a time.</p>
<p>Son graduated in May and came back home. To answer a question from an above poster my son came back to pay off his loans. He has a very good job but the loans took priority over living on his own. He will have them paid off than head off to grad school. I don’t mind that he is here (it is basically to sleep and eat). He is always working and when he isn’t he is meeting up with friends or visiting with my other sons. It is nice having him in the nest even though it is temporary.</p>
<p>Our 2010 grad started his job the day after graduation, so no boomerang, but that was just good luck. It could have gone much differently. I think I read that 25% of the class of 2010 had jobs in hand before graduation. The more interesting number would be what percent had jobs or were in grad school six months later. </p>
<p>The decision to live at home out of preference is different than the decision to live at home out of necessity. It’s the necessity group that is a concern, in my view.</p>
<p>Wow…as usual lots of judgement here. DS got his undergrad degree and moved back end of august. Had a full time job but not enough to live on his own. by the way he has no student loans. Job was not a good fit. He is now looking again. Two of his friends who graduated in May are in the same situation. Neither has student loans. Our son is looking at grad school but that isn’t a job guarantee either Nd in my mind not something you do lightlly especially if that degree will require loans.
When he went across the country four years ago with an excellent record and then graduated magna cum laude from a good school and with two internships/coops under his belt I never thought he would be in this situation. It is discouraging and difficult for all of us.</p>
<p>I have no intention of having my kids move back in with us after graduation for more than a month or two until they find their own place. When I graduated the economy was bad, cost of living was high, etc. etc. There was no way I was moving back home even with loans to pay off. I think the real difference now is that parents are thrilled to have the kids back! Helicopter parenting for life.</p>
<p>I love my kids but there is a time for everyone to move on with their lives. If that means living in a one bedroom apartment with 4 other people, that’s what it means. If that means dipping into some of their savings, fine. If that means going with less, well then, welcome to life. I think it is the parents are the ones who think the kids can’t do it.</p>
<p>I used to go to Happy Hours at bars where, for the price of one drink, I could eat form the “buffet” which consisted of something carved off the bone (turkey, roast beef, ham, etc.) and some starch. Lunch was brought from home, pay what you wish museums and libraries was how I cooled off on hot days if I wasn’t working.</p>
<p>Living on your own in your 20’s is vitally important for so many reasons, not the least of which is the fun you have! Kids will survive getting by with less.</p>
<p>I had no intention of that either. Living off savings is difficult when there are no savings. DS worked through college to be able to afford to live in an expensive metro area where he attended. Jobs there aren’t paying enough to cover rent and when his degree finished I no longer wanted him financially dependent. Having him here temporarily during the job search is better for me than paying full rent on a place he doesn’t have rent money.<br>
I do not think my kid can’t do it but he needs a job first and they aren’t easy to come by. How many trained adults are out of work? I don’t think you have a clue. The kids I know don’t want to be home and I certainly want my son out and on his own. We all feel trapped and stressed out. Philosophically o agree with you and told me kids all through their undergrad I expected the, to be independent after graduation but the reality is a harsher truth.</p>
<p>Its a big number, but…</p>
<p>Considering the range of colleges in the US, and reflecting on the likelihood that the bottom half of the class no matter what the school probably wound up at home about 95% of the time, its not that surprising. Heck, in the poll, it says the number was 67% in 2006, and I think that was probably a pretty good year. </p>
<p>There is no sense of what “normal” is for these types of statistics.</p>
<p>My middle child lived here (along with his fiance’) for one year before they married in order to save money and we were thrilled with the arrangement.</p>
<p>My sister moved back with her new husband ( to live with my mom), while they had their house built when they were first married ( sis was 20).Unfortunately it was very stressful ( sis & BIL are strict LDS, mom was happy go lucky) and mom had a psychotic break during that time.</p>
<p>My kids are not so different in perspectives as myself, but I do think it would be stressful to have them live here for longer than a visit of a month or two.
If they are going to have roommates, it’s probably better that they get to choose them.
;)</p>
<p>Well, what counts as a boomerang? </p>
<p>Is it a boomerang if your offspring comes home for the summer after graduation before starting graduate school or a job with a fall start date?</p>
<p>To me, that doesn’t seem like a boomerang – just a short gap in time during which the kid has to sleep somewhere.</p>
<p>I would welcome S back; if he wanted to work in the area, the cost of living is high. Like slumom, I could see him working a temporary high paying job at my company.</p>
<p>But he wouldn’t want to stay long term. He could not really entertain friends here, and I wouldn’t be amenable to him letting girlfriends stay over.</p>
<p>I agree with amtc, especially this line:
</p>
<p>My oldest is currently a senior, so I’ll admit that my tune might be different come June. But I have relatives where three sons have graduated college so far and all have come home to live with mommy & daddy. All three had professional jobs upon graduation; one was earning $85k to start. He graduated in 2007 with an EE degree and today is still in his old bedroom, eating his mom’s cooking (and likely having her do his laundry). All expected to buy a house or condo as their first address; none of them contemplated roommates; one will continue to live at home until his wedding next summer.</p>
<p>I know many adults my age who lived at home after finishing school in the seventies and eighties, even without financial necessity, because many of us and our parents thought it frivolous and wasteful to spend extra for rent if we were going to school or working near the family home. </p>
<p>I myself boomeranged during that period, as did my husband. A generation earlier, my parents did the same. It did not hurt us or impede our ultimate financial (or social) independence, or our capacity to travel or live independently. If anything, it provided us with a support system when needed, and taught us how to be supportive to others as well.</p>
<p>Let’s be clear here. If my kid had a job, any job that paid enough to live on, even in a crappy place, he would be out and on his own. We both want it that way.</p>
<p>If our son were employed close to where we live and wanted to bunk with us while he paid of loans and saved for grad school, that would be fine! It just makes sense. But then, he went far enough away for school that we saw him only infrequently and he interned in other cities every summer. He has already established his independence and there is a minimum of drama or conflict in our relationship now. Maybe that influences my opinion. But as it is, he is employed in another state, so it will just take him longer to pay those loans and save that money. Which is fine.</p>
<p>Can’t criticize those who decide to conserve their resources and move back home. For a kid who is close to a professional level job and it’s just a matter of bunking with 4 other roommates for a month while the employer does reference checks or finishes a security clearance- yeah sure, helicoptering parents may be a factor. But for a kid with minimal cash in the bank heading into a lengthy job search where the parents own jobs may be tenuous right now? Living at home is for sure a prudent option. And it’s not a matter of a crappy place or living with mom- job security just isn’t what it used to be.</p>
<p>Archiemom- you must be very lucky where you live not to know mature adults (successful professionals) who are now in Year 2 of a frustrating job search… not to mention their 24 year old offspring. If I were an unemployed 55 year old lawyer trying to keep up with my house payments I’d be aggravated with my new college grad spending 1000/month on rent to live in a cruddy apartment share when that same kid could be living at home kicking in $500 a month to cover expenses.</p>
<p>I’m as big an advocate for pushing your kid out of the nest as anyone- I moved out at 17, all my kids moved out at 18, nobody looked back. But sometimes it’s just luck-- getting that first out of college job which starts June 15 and not October 15; or having a boss who knows someone who would rather rent to someone they know vs. a stranger so they’re willing to negotiate a generous lease; or finding a landlord willing to forgo a credit check in exchange for 3 months rent upfront, etc. Not every landlord will rent to a new grad with only an offer letter in hand vs. a verified pay stub.</p>
<p>Why so judgmental?</p>
<p>Perhaps this is a family or regional area difference in expectations? Like frazzled2thecore, myself and 2 siblings graduated in the 80’s, all moved back home during various stages, middle brother more than either myself or youngest, but this was not seen as an issue, and did not hinder our ultimate independence. Most of my cousins did the same, as far as I’m aware no aunts or uncles saw this as a problem. Both my parents moved back in with their family for varying time frames, this would have been during the 50’s, again, not a problem. We all helped out as needed, for whatever needed to be done, was not a big deal. I helped with housework, took my grandmother to appointments, cooked dinner, did laundry, whatever. My brothers did the same. </p>
<p>I have a daughter who is due to finish her BA this May, I’ve already made it clear to her she is more than welcome back for however long she needs or wants. I don’t expect any problems, she’s helpful, cheerful and pitches in without asking. The same will go for her brother who’s off to college fall of 2011. That’s just the way we do things, in fact my relatives would consider it odd if the assumption wasn’t there for any child of any family to come home as needed and/or wanted. Out of town family takes in those children of relatives who need a place to start in a town where they live, that’s just the way we do things. In fact having family in a town is often something cousins, nieces and nephews consider when looking for a job in another town. But we’re in the south, large close-knit extended family and have been for generations. I would venture to say custom and tradition play a part in whether this is considered a problem.</p>
<p>Im not judgemental about families who want to continue to live under the same roof. More power to them if their living space and personalities accommodate that.</p>
<p>But we live in a 2 bedroom bungalow with 1 bathroom & while it worked when two kids, two adults, two cats & a 70lb dog lived here, it would be a LOT more cramped with four adults.</p>
<p>But on the plus side- we don’t have to downsize for retirement!
;)</p>