Boston University's reason for applying; COMMON APP SUPP

College Essays
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<p>*This is actually 263 words... please help me find areas where I can probably delete to satisfy the word limit! Any critiques will also help (please be harsh and critical). Oh and please comment on how you feel about the essay overall, i'm extremely worried that it sounds too cliche and verbose! thanks!</p>

<p>In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission</p>

<p>The flamboyant city lights, exceptional Broadway shows, mind blowing skyscrapers and huge diversity-- these are all of the aesthetics that I have endorsed growing up in New York City. Fourteen years spent living in an urban community has unfolded many opportunities for me that I want to retain while at college, but at the same time have the chance to explore new things. Even though staying in NYC seems like the more convenient choice for me, Boston University's collaborative community has proven to me that my four years being spent there would flourish just as greatly as it would living in the Big Apple.
First off, I was excited to find out about BU's involvement in sustainability. Boston's commitment to sprout environmental awareness throughout our global community reflects my time carrying out charity events at my school's Humanitarian Club. By participating in corresponding events such as the university's Outing Club, I look forward to exploring beyond just cars and tall buildings and actually be able to engage with the school's diverse student body through our interest in the outdoors. This idea of collaboration and exploration can also be applied into my disciplinary studies. As an acting major, BU's PTI creates an intimate learning experience that will essentially expand my knowledge within the profession. Its affiliation with theater companies across the nation serves as a great networking experience for an innovative person like myself. I am an individual who values innovation. BU is a school that promotes collaboration. With these two spectra, it was inevitable for me think otherwise when applying to Boston University.</p>

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<p>“huge diversity” doesn’t work. You could take out the adjectives in the beginning. Instead: the city lights, broadway shows, skyscrapers. Also “mind blowing” can be made into mind-blowing if you wish to keep it. delete “all of” in all of the aesthetics. that you have endorsed? doesn’t make sense. “four years being spent there would flourish” this is grammatically incorrect. there are a lot of run on sentences and grammatical errors in this but your idea is really good. do you have an english teacher you can give this to for revision?</p>

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<p>Thank God for you help!! Your suggestions were very useful</p>

<p>I do but they all decided to be jerks by avoiding my emails I’ve sent to them. I guess they just don’t look forward to doing any editing during their Christmas. I appreciate your helps though!</p>

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<p>Agh that sucks. You could also abbreviate Boston University with BU. That should make your word count closer to 250 :)</p>