<p>I have been together with my boyfriend for over a year. He is a freshman at an out of state school... I have been kinda figuring out where I want to go this year, but my parents really want me to go to Calpolyslo and will not agree to anything else. I don't think I can get into that school so my back up is the same school my boyfriend goes to. </p>
<p>My parents are really upset about this, they say I can do better than the out of state school and that we have better schools in california anyways. I'm really not too interested in any of the schools my parents want me to apply to and i do not think I can get into calpoly. I don't really think i like the vibe it has anyways. </p>
<p>I visited my boyfriend at his school a couple months ago and I loved it, I love the town the place and I just could see myself there.
No one will take me seriously for this, they think I am only into the school because of my boyfriend. Although he was the reason I was interested in the first place, it turned out I really liked it. </p>
<p>My parents are not okay with this and are very angry about it. They say its going to turn out to be very expensive although I qualify for a the WUE scholarship and that will make it cheaper than calpoly. they do not care and say going out of state will drive up the costs because of flights and stuff. Yet the school will still be a thousands of dollars cheaper... </p>
<p>To be fair, California has a ton of really great schools, so I will concede that your parents have a point. Ask if you can maybe tour a few to build up some more options. You may be surprised by how good some of the other options are, boyfriend or no.</p>
<p>Even so, if you do like this out of state school, I see no reason not to apply. More research can’t hurt, though. I’m assuming you are a senior, and if so, time is very limited.</p>
<p>Does this out of state school cost more than a California public university would?</p>
<p>Reality check time. In 99% of cases, when a girlfriend/boyfriend is a factor in the college decision, irrational thinking results. For every anecdotal couple that tells you they made it and are now happily married for 30 years, you’ll get a 100 other stories about how it was a horrible decision. Yet everyone in your current situation swears that:</p>
<p>A. They really like the school
B. Even if it doesn’t work out, the school is still acceptable
C. We’re the one couple that works out, not the 100 that don’t.</p>
<p>You just might be the one couple that it does work out for. But I wouldn’t want my kid betting their future on it. Not saying your parents are right, but they’re not insane either.</p>
<p>Sit down with your parents, and do the math in as great detail as possible for ALL of the places on your list. Find out whether you are eligible for any aid anywhere including the Cal Grants. Determine realistic costs for transportation, books, meals, housing, and personal expenses. That way all of you will have a better handle on the possible costs.</p>
<p>Then eliminate any place that cannot be made affordable, and file your applications. Worry about where to go next spring when you have all of your admissions offers and all of your financial aid packages on the table.</p>
<p>Break up with your boyfriend, and then consider whether the school looks good to you. Or, think about whether you’d like it so much if you enrolled, and then he broke up with you. I agree with MrMom62.</p>
<p>To kind of paraphrase Hunt. How would you feel about going to college with your ex-boyfriend? If it still sounds more appealing than other options you might have an argument. If it sounds heartbreaking then definitely look elsewhere. While I wouldn’t advise breaking up merely because you are both going off to college, I would not advise going to a college merely to be with a boyfriend. You are much more likely to to have an ex boyfriend than a betrothed.</p>
<p>My D applied to 10 schools last year. I discouraged her from one of them because I didn’t think she would get enough financial aid (net price calculator showed it was unaffordable). But her boyfriend was applying and she swore it was the most beautiful campus she had ever seen (her words). She applied to a special scholarship…and got it. She was thrilled. Fast forward to end of senior year. They broke up around prom – and suddenly she didn’t want to go there, scholarship or no scholarship. We had fights over it, since it was by far the best deal – better even than our state university – and has an accelerated program for her career. She put off packing until the morning of the summer session (a condition of the scholarship). She had a miserable summer and a very rough beginning of the semester. They are friends now but it was really, really rough for her seeing him around campus. Starting school is a big adjustment and this just added to the angst.</p>
<p>Good things can happen, whether you are with the guy or not. D has an incredible opportunity. In a way the relationship did not work out but it led to other things. Would she have done things differently if she had known they would break up? Maybe. In the larger scheme of things a miserable six months might have happened wherever she was, and maybe the opportunity makes the short-term misery worth it. But my heart ached for her. That’s our story.</p>
<p>You have gotten some good advice above. You love your boyfriend’s school – great! Figure out, what is it about his school that you love? Size, location, campus vibe, programs? Look for ten schools within your stats range that have those attributes. Run net price calculators and see if any of them are affordable. No one is telling you not to apply to his school. But don’t place all your bets on it. Keep your options open until the last possible minute. And, listen to your folks. They will be there for you even if your boyfriend isn’t, and…you need them on your side to pay the bills.</p>
<p>IRDNECAAAOT, i’m a mom so take this with a grain of salt…but I would absolutely, positively not want my kid to go to college with a boyfriend/girlfriend. College is your chance to truly understand who you are…and what you are going to become…having the crutch of a boyfriend to do everything with, kills that whole part of college for you. You can’t see this now (I know I wouldn’t have been able to) but giving up these 4 years would be a heartbreaker when you’re older. </p>
<p>I also agree with the other posters…would you enjoy going to college with your ex-boyfriend?</p>
<p>never let a high school boyfriend /girlfriend get in the way of you spreading your wings and flying. do not tie yourself down to someone you met as a teenager . you can always get back together after college if it is meant to be. I would go far away from family, friends etc…, but that is something your parents have a say in. college is a time to learn about yourself and meet new people. (IMO)</p>
If you’re a senior I think you’ve already won. The deadline for applying to the UCs has passed, and has closed for most CSU campuses. If you don’t get into SLO it sounds like you’ve arranged things so this is the only other option.</p>
<p>From your side of things I think your thoughts and feelings are absolutely genuine. You’re not pretending to love his school, you really do. Unfortunately that love is a predictable outcome of the halo effect. You were predisposed to love the school and everything about it because you already had strong positive feelings about it due to your BF being there. And everything you see will be fitted into that framework. “Oh, look, bums sleeping on the benches. How refreshingly gritty instead of the sanitized suburb I grew up in”. There is just about nothing that can’t be rolled into a positive appraisal if so motivated. </p>
<p>I think you are too far down the path to easily reverse things. For one thing, unless you’ve applied elsewhere most doors have closed. I don’t think you’ve made the best decision for yourself, but it is a decision made by many --to follow the BF. At lot of girls fall deeply for their 1st real love and will sacrifice just about anything to keep it going. Buried in the back of your mind you may find the worry that if you don’t go to the same school he might find someone else (to be fair, it probably will happen, and you’d find someone else too – long-distance college relationships seldom make it past the 1st Xmas). But this is buried; everything feels right to you and it would be hard to walk away. </p>
<p>Live and learn, I guess. Hope it all works out for you.</p>
<p>You might think you are absolutely in love with your BF now, until you meet the next really cool guy in your new college. And then your decision to join your BF would seem sillier or more trivial by the day. </p>
<p>Basing a life changing decision based on a love interest at 18 is not exactly the best decision making approach.</p>
<p>Cal Poly SLO is a great school. I hope you get in and go. College is an extremely expensive proposition. Keeping the people who are paying the bills happy will in turn make your life much happier in the long run. Boyfriends (and even spouses) come and go. Parents are forever. Regrettably, I got married as a graduate student at age 24 and ended up divorced 9 years later. I now have 4 teen daughters (3 from my 2nd marriage and a step from my 3rd). Let me give you the same advice I give them: don’t get married before age 30!</p>