<p>“You should only parent your own child. If they are meant to be together, they will be.”</p>
<p>ZM put it exactly right – I have nothing to add.</p>
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Since DS had no chance to return the favor financially because he was, relatively speaking, a poor college student, he did return a small favor to the aforementioned roomate at one time.</p>
<p>Being fully aware that his roommate might not get up in time for his final, DS rushed back to their shared dorm room between classes to wake him up. Initially he still did not want to go to the final even after DS had waken him up. (The reason is complicated and I do not want to go into details.) DS insisted that he got out of his bed and took the final. DS knew that it would likely delay his graduation for one semester if he did not have that credit (which he could get if only he was willing to go take the final.) He did go take the final and easily got the credit. (His roommate is very smart. He often could write an essay in one evening while most students might labor on the same essy for a week and the quality of their essays may not be better than his. He completed his senior project almost a year before graduation while many literally completed it at the last minute, e.g., like DS 
Many who do not know him well, like one girl who was his gf, on and off for a short time, and who most of the roommates think she really does not appreciate him, may even think he lacks “ambition.”)</p>
<p>As far as the gender reversals go, there are the same concerns. My son’s girlfriend is nice, and he’s crazy about her, but she’s definitely less ambitious than he is. Because she hasn’t had summer jobs, while he’s had great ones, he always picks up her tab and gives her nice gifts. When I realized this was happening, I simply told my son that I think he’s made enough money that he can cover all his own costs except tuition. That seems to be working out fine and now I clearly have no say in the matter and feel better - he’s spending his own money on her, not mine.</p>
<p>The only concern I would have is what his response would be if they break up… potential stalker? or other problems. First loves can be intense, and when kids are getting their whole identity through another person, that’s a problem.</p>
<p>I would add to that… talk to your daughter about the situation. Not judgementally… but find out if she is happy about the move or if it is stressing her. If she doesn’t want him to come with her, then help her to have the courage to tell him. If she does… then I agree 100% with others to just stay out of it and parent your own child.</p>