<p>I always think about if had a boyfriend. In middle school I didn't but now that I'm in High School reality splashed a bucket of water onto my face. All the girls I know who do have one are much happier in general and their boyfriend can chill with their normal friends. That's not me. My friends are a bunch of smarty/A tomboys. So their conversations with boys in general are either fake or awkward.
At one point the majority of my female friends (excluding previous group) had a boy chasing after them...
One friend even had a dude who the Entire SCHOOL knew about his feelings for her but she didn't return them.
I've seen gay and lesbian couples too and I'm kinda jealous of them too.
I often times wish I had a boyfriend....
Anyone care to share how they met their lover in high school?
or how I could look for a boyfriend besides just meeting a guy that likes me back?
Anyone?!??</p>
<p>I know this sounds too deep, but things never come when you look for them. At least that’s what has happened for me… Haha. It will come when you least expect it to.
I’m kind of in the same place. My friends (the majority of them) have partners. So I just really try to focus on everything else (school, social life, etc.).</p>
<p>Ha my first and only boyfriend so far was in band with me. Look at people in your clubs and activities and stuff!
He was really smart (well, he still is) and very caring. He was super respectful of me and my space. Side note: if he isn’t, dump him.
Now, however, he’s dating one of my closest friends (it was weird, but I initiated the breakup so it doesn’t really impact me much anymore). I am constantly third wheeling it. If you are third wheeling it like me, as your friend to see if her bf has anyone for you 
As for advice:
Don’t be a slut. Dress comfortably, but not like a slob either. Dress up every now and then, if you’re comfortable with it, so that boys really take notice
BE CONFIDENT! Don’t expect a guy to love you if you don’t love yourself.
When you do stuff like go to movies or the mall with your friends, make it a mixed group
You’ll find a guy that deserves you, believe me Don’t stress it.</p>
<p>Qyndox, as a male, I can tell you that a lot of the initial attraction will depend simply on taking good care of yourself (not implying that you don’t). Most people have at least a somewhat interesting personality, even if that interest arises through the subject’s stupidity. But the only way to ever get a male to notice you (assuming you aren’t lesbian) is first through physical attraction, which does not mean sluttishness or makeup (the most beautiful girl I know wears only lip stuff and mascara) but simply showing that you do care about how you look. That will get you noticed. Then, if you like a guy, send him clear, but not overbearing signals. As a male I can tell you that a balance is necessary here. On the one hand, males are dullards and largely incapable of detecting signals unless they are already looking hard for them, so you want to be fairly obvious. On the other hand, it can be a serious turnoff and lead to gossip if a girl’s flirtatious signals are too apparent. Either way, once the boy notices your signals, you should try to detect a reaction. If it is positive, continue until he attempts to engage you further. After that, just “be yourself” and all the usual nonsense and wait for him to ask you out. With the date thing, be sure to provide suggestions. While girls complain often that men simply resort to dinner and a movie too often, this is usually because the girl doesn’t help in the planning once she has been asked out.</p>
<p>Anyway, those are just my tips.</p>
<p>My own high school story is that I am largely regarded as being a fairly handsome, well-dressed boy (girls approach me with relatively high frequency to tell me that their friends think I am “hot”, and I even once received a note with an anonymous (!), cheesy love poem–as a SENIOR, mind you!) , but due to my limited social circle and perhaps off-putting domination in academic affairs, I simply don’t KNOW enough people to know girls. I SEE plenty of girls that I know like me and that I would be happy to take out, but I have no classes, clubs, sports, or mutual friends through which to make first contact.</p>
<p>Anyway, any recommendations? I have long operated under the assumption that simply approaching a girl in the hall between classes is seen as creepy and potentially laughter-inducing, but can any of our femmes here give insight? If there is a girl I know to be interested in me but that I have no way of contacting, how should I about approaching her? Twitter pm? Get her number through someone else? Between-class approach?</p>
<p>I take all my classes at a local university and I’m dating a guy from there who is a year older than me.
I think it would have been weird dating someone from high school…I go to this little rural high school where the kids have nothing to talk about besides each other, and relationships have to be justified within the social hierarchy. Guys wouldn’t have approached me even if they liked me (they didn’t, but still), because I wasn’t thought of as the kind of person anyone dates.</p>
<p>@BigBanksBaby–a friend of mine was approached in the hallway by a boy asking for her number. She had no idea who he was. She said yes (he was attractive and seemed very earnest and nice) and they dated for a bit. Unfortunately, that boy was a bit of a player. Honestly, I would love to be approached, but understand that you should not do it often and this method should be reserved for girls that you are really attracted to both physically and mentally/emotionally. As for tips, try ‘accidentally’ running into her a couple times and commenting on the coincidence every time you see her. It sounds creepy, it’s something cute and funny and chances are she’ll realize you’re looking for her. Make sure you apologize every time and introduce yourself the first time. After a bit of casual convo, wait for her after class one day and walk her to her next one. Make sure she isn’t with her friends. That’ll end with laughter. Lots of laughter. Hopefully you read this absurdly long and probably unhelpful post. Merp.</p>
<p>Also, I just realized the revolting amount of smiley faces that I employed in my last message. I apologize for that. I’m not used to them turning into actual faces and normally they blend in more…</p>
<p>@BigBanksBaby I approach girls after class quite often lol. Getting her number through others would be a good idea, also Twitter DM is a decent shout.</p>
<p>I personally believe that I am a handsome fellow, and I dress quite well. I’m sure that girls think the same way, it’s just that…nobody TELLS me. I have yet to date or even kiss a girl - and I’m in the middle of my junior year! After years of trying too hard to get a girl to date me and (unintentionally of course) coming off as creepy, I’m just taking it easy and not looking for anyone. Easier said than done when I sit at a lunch table full of attractive freshman girls, haha!</p>
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<p>I think it is a problem that afflicts good students, lbad (I am making assumptions because you are on CC 
). Studies show that rates of virginity increase along economic, racial (most privileged races more likely to be virgin), and IQ lines…in fact, some rather high percentage (like 60% or something) of the Harvard freshman class a few years ago were virgins, despite the fact that the statistics show that most Americans “lose it” at 16 or 17. So I suppose we forever aloners are in good company.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. I think the next time I hear from someone that a girl likes me, and I hear she is a decent person and have visually confirmed her looks I will make a point of “accidental” meetings leading to numbers and hopefully a date.</p>
<p>I am only asking all of this because I want someone attractive to take to prom. Not desperate, but I would certainly prefer not to go alone :o</p>
<p>Does anyone else feel like part of their problem arises from not being “popular” due to involvement in mostly “nerdy” activities and friend groups? That definitely seems to be my problem.</p>
<p>I feel as though you shouldn’t let being single affect you to a large extent. I mean, sure, we all hope to find someone. I think this is especially true in high school due to all the pressure but, as cliche as it sounds, everything will fall together on its own. Good luck!</p>
<p>BBB, I wish I was a good student. A 2.7 GPA suggests only above average, though. And I’m African :D</p>
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<p>@halcyonheather</p>
<p>What you say about social hierarchy rings true. I think high school is a social microcosm that proves that egalitarianism is mostly just an ideal–an ideal that will be difficult, if not impossible for our society to obtain. These high school hierarchies seem governed around the principles that (1) the male is the controlling factor in each relationship, and (2) the socio-economic power (race, wealth of parents (represented by factors like his clothing, car, etc.), and social power expressed through involvement in sports) of the male determines who he may date. The most powerful males (power determined by above listed factors) then proceed to claim each of the most attractive females in turn, on a basis of perceived sexual worth. The females are expected to avoid dating men of lesser power. One thing I can’t account for is the existence of certain girls who date men who have already graduated from high school but have no feasible social prospects. Example: I know one extremely attractive girl who dates a man (19 years old perhaps) who is not in college but is instead employed by a lawn mowing company. Such a man has no place in the high school social hierarchy of males and is on a low-tier of the non-high school social hierarchy (explained below), so it is unclear why some girls choose to date such men.</p>
<p>That leads nicely into the next hierarchies, which are more redemptive for CCers, especially males, though as the equality of females increases (assuming it will), men of low power will begin dating women of power more frequently. In any case, after high school, the hierarchy is largely re-ordered, with men (and women, to a lesser extent) organized based on their power, which now comes from (1)wealth, (2)actual power over other people, (3)perhaps their families if their families are very wealthy, and (4) most rarely, fame. This is good news for CCers because, presuming we continue to perform at a high level in the university system, our power will increase as the power of the old Alpha Males decreases, though there are outlier males in the hierarchy who rule in both. Women are also evaluated by their power, but less so.</p>
<p>Finally, there exists for both hierarchies an “attractiveness minimum” which the person at each level of power must meet in order to attract mates. This minimum decreases inversely to power, which is why extremely fat, old, or ugly men can date remarkably thin, young, and beautiful women if they are famous (<em>cough</em> Eastwood), rich (oil barons), or powerful (politicians).</p>
<p>Being in a nerdy group of friends definitely impacts my dating abilities! However, I’m also in band, so in my band family, relationships are kind of like a date-all-share-all (oh no I don’t mean that in a bad way! Just that people are very open about asking and dating people their friend dated!)
But my regular school friends are made up of serious hardcore nerds and most of my guy friends are probably too nervous to ask someone out and girls still have the impression that guys should initiate, unfortunately. Everybody is just too nervous, especially since we’ve been in the same group since 6th grade…</p>
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<p>Also consider that a lot of “nerdy” activities are male-dominated.</p>
<p>Being in AP classes during high school really effects you socially. The truth to the matter is the smart kids tend to be less attractive and like nerdier activities. My whole HS life, I have been in AP and Honors classes. I find it difficult to make friends or meet girls because I am not into the same activities as all of my classmates, such as band or debate. Being in honors classes, I haven’t even had a class with over half of my grade and I’m a senior. I rarely have the opportunity to meet attractive girls and when I do I am unsure of what to do because of my lack of experience. These problems along with the additional label of being a nerd due to my intelligence makes dating virtually impossible. At cross country camp one summer, I went to my first and only “legit” high school party. A really hot girl came onto me and I danced with her. She was obviously attracted to me but I had no idea how to talk to her and the next day we just kind of awkwardly looked at each other. I am destined to leave HS without ever having gone on a date or gone to a dance, even though I am definitely above average attractiveness wise. Time for college!</p>
<p>And speaking to virginity issue mentioned above, I have only one friend that has been laid and by no means was the girl he “lost it to” attractive.</p>
<p>@Jones17 I feel the same way that you do - although I feel that I am attractive and intelligent and that I have a lot to offer a girl, I’ve done some things in the past that would turn most girls off. That and if I move within the next month or so, then I would only have an incredibly limited amount of time to get with a girl in my new town. And as nice as having a girlfriend would seem, it would also be a huge distraction from what I have in front of me - midterms, Junior Research Paper, HSPA, and SATs are all due between now and mid-late May. It would be a massive motivation as well, but I’m not sure that I want to take the risk right now. </p>
<p>However, being a junior guy in terms of dating is the best place to be. I can still date a freshman without being looked down upon, and the seniors in my school are also oh so attractive. I personally prefer freshmen to sophomores/juniors, but seniors to freshmen. Next year though, my limit is sophomore to senior. Lol :p</p>
<p>I prefer soccer girls though</p>
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<p>Clearly none of you boys have self confidence issues!</p>
<p>Haha it is indeed interesting that most of the males have evaluated themselves as attractive. I think it is a psychological thing here–men see their best features, women tend to be more critical of themselves.</p>
<p>See in my school, I just find many of the couples i see around wayyy too touchy-feely. And quite frankly, i find that so, so weird! I mean, we’ve all practically grown up together and when those couples break it off or move on, they still see each other because they’re in the same groups! It’s not that I think relationships in HS are completely bogus, I find them to be unnecessary for the most part… oh so young, oh so cynical 
haha</p>
<p>@BigBanksBaby I suppose women are generally very critical, but do men really do that?
Also, @BespectacledBaka, IT IS SO GROSS. No groping in the hallways, please. You’re blocking the flow of traffic.</p>
<p>@louie, seriously! At lunch time or recess, my school’s stairwells turn into I don’t know what! All you can do is awkwardly rush by and not stare too much…I’ve also contemplated my senior prank to be running around the school with a banner and a whistle shouting ‘PDA!’ Blowing the whistle, then running from the couple, their ‘moment’ interrupted haha</p>