DD, with a June birthday, was asked to do an extra year of preschool before starting K. This is very common in NYC private schools and we didn’t have much of a choice. So she will graduate HS a couple weeks before her 19th birthday.
Same in our private K-8 school. My son has an early April birthday and is the youngest boy in his class. The school recommended that he repeat preschool prior to Kindergarten. I refused, and now I wish I’d listened to them. Being the runt of the class is no fun, especially for boys.
As with many decisions, this might be based on the individual kid. I have an early summer birthday. Holding a kid back for physical/social reasons was not an option when I was in elementary school (this must be an American thing). While not the smallest of my freshman class, I was among the youngest. No problem for me.
Our experience at SPS echoes Goatmama’s comments. A lot of those older kids were late starters in K or 1st. To me, that should be viewed differently than repeating 9th, especially for sports. The late K/1st start was also quite commonplace at our local public schools.
The stats I posted in #6 were purely based on my own knowledge of students who truly repeated 9th grade when starting boarding school.
and there are still many many kids who repeat as well as being held back at the beginning. We know some who have done both!
Yes, I’ve known a few of those as well. That is something I wouldn’t recommend. I’ve known kids graduating boarding school just a month or two shy of turning 20. To me, that is problematic for a few reasons, one being that at that age they are chomping at the bit at boarding school rules by then.
Younger kids can do just fine, it really depends on the child. Mine would have hated to stay in high school an extra year. One will graduate at 17 and the other 16 from Exeter. Both play sports and fit in fine socially. One of the things I love about the school is the kids stratify much more by interest - not age.
Because many of the junior boarding schools go through 9th grade, some students destined for boarding school end up repeating it again when they move schools.
I have seen that, @MAandMEmom, and frankly, those are the cases that surprise me the most. One, because you can leave junior boarding school after 8th, applying for 9th grade admission. Many do. Two, because if ANYONE should be well prepared for boarding school it should be those kids attending junior boarding school - students who’ve had some academic rigor and who have lived away from home before. It’s a lot of $ to tack on an extra year of private school if its not needed. From my experience, the kids who repeat are seldom the public school students where one could argue that they might not be as well prepared due to the relative rigor of their previous schooling. Many times, I think the decision to repeat is less driven by athletics and more driven by a family’s desire to attend a more prestigious school and being a little older/further along in coursework either does provide an edge or is perceived to provide an edge in admissions.
@doschicos we know three boys who went through junior boarding school (repeating when they started there) and are now repeating at BS. Its crazy
My kids have summer birthdays and were not held back. They are not atheletic but plays instruments. They were on the tall side but usually the youngest in the class. DS2 says he is THE youngest boy in his grade and some friends are 2+ years older than he is. He was the only freshman in his math class with sophomores and did fine. He will continue to be THE youngest in his math classes by 3+ years. Both kids will graduate HS at 17.
Very interesting thread – as someone mentioned, I think the number of boys who started kindergarten late – has grown exponentially over the years. In our town, it is extremely rare (no exaggeration) to find a boy with a summer birthday who starts kindergarten at age 5. Also, when you add in kids who repeat for any number of reasons (sports, academics, maturity), it certainly can result in higher percentages of repeaters (if you include the late starting kindergarteners.). I do think it is an unfortunate trend, but given the rat race that higher education has become and the increasingly pressure that is put on kids earlier and earlier – being more mature, I think is a positive – of course, at some point – you can take this too far – graduating high school at 20 :-). Our DC did not repeat – many of his BS friends are a year older (and a few JBS’ers repeats) – but we did not feel for
him, he needed another year before starting BS and we feel BS should be a 4 year experience. Personally, I would not hesitate if I had a child who could benefit from an extra year for any of the reasons (academics, maturity, sports) people do it, but I would not do it based on my child’s age and not wanting them to be one of the younger ones – as I think @vegas1’s daughters demonstrate. I also do not think you can game system into ensuring whatever college choice you desire. I would do it to give child best possible
experience to achieve what they desire, but not because I think it will ensure that desire. I also try not to judge what other families feel gives their child the best chance at whatever they desire out of BS. As everyone who has contributed to this thread demonstrates, I think we all have to make the best decision taking into consideration the changing educational landscape, our particular child and what makes sense. And hope for the best!
75% of the boys in my freshman’s BS class are repeats! Very few girls. I think this is ridiculous and am concerned about it. I don’t like the idea of 18/19/20 boys as sophomores, juniors and seniors and the dating ramifications. My senior’s class has a much much lower percentage. My kids are summer birthdays and they were ready for school, I would NEVER keep them back for sports. Both my daughter and my son are a little annoyed by seeing the “giant hairy” older boys on campus- A lot of who (currently) are post grads. In 3-4 years there will be more “giant hairys” when this crop become older.
@SuzyQ7, if a student repeats once, he or she may be 16 or 17 as a sophomore, not 18. Sometimes, the “repeats” were skipped ahead a grade or two in earlier years, so they’re 14 or 15 as freshmen. It’s usually a family decision, rather than a school decision, but if 75% of the boys are repeating 9th grade, the school seems to like older boys.
For individual boys, repeating can make sense. Boys start puberty at vastly different ages; I can think of some kids I’ve known who were not ready to board as 8th graders. If a child has had a serious illness, such as mono, it can make sense to repeat a year. If a school gets a reputation for its population skewing older, that can reinforce the pattern, of course.
I don’t think it is a good policy to repeat a grade just to gain a leg up on peers. For one, I don’t think it works. The academic stars are often “young for their grade.”