<p>For all my life, I thought I wanted a HYP level school. The problem lied within money: my dad always told me that he would only match the cost for me to go to a SUNY and then I would have to borrow to make up the difference. Nonetheless, I worked really hard in high school and after I got into Harvard, Yale, and Princeton, and a full ride from UChicago my father's opinion changed: he agreed to pay full freight but I would have to take out modest loans ($15,000 at the end of four years). I thought I had wanted Yale (even after visiting Bulldog Days, I was really enthusiastic about the school) but when May 1st came, I realized that what I really wanted was financial freedom (my parents said they would have paid for grad school after I got the scholarship - I would much prefer that then Yale)! I tried to convey this to my parents, but they wouldn't listen to me, telling me that Yale was what I wanted and I'm just looking for someone to pay for my schooling for me. Both of them were working on May 1st and they honestly thought that I would pick Yale so they didn't leave the housing deposit required for me to matriculate at Chicago [Yale doesn't require a deposit]. It was still May 1st and I HAD to say yes somewhere so I picked begrudgingly picked Yale. I told my Dad on Sunday that I thought I had made a mistake and that if I called both schools on Monday I'm sure I could fix things but he just asserted that I'm afraid of being a small fish in a big pond. I told him that it was my choice to make and that he should leave the money anyway because he was leaving on a business trip the next day for the next two weeks and at that point I can't change things. He left without writing a check.
It's almost a week later and I just feel depressed (I just took an AP Exam that I pretty much bombed because of this whole mess) ... I do not have enthusiasm about Yale at all anymore; what's worse I can't talk to anyone about this. My mother is just blindly telling me to go to Yale (she was actually telling me to borrow the SUNY-Ivy difference before my Dad changed his mind!) and my sister is abroad so I can't talk to her. What should I do?</p>
<p>It does suck to feel remorse, I think a lot of students feel like this after making such a huge decision that will affect their lives for years to come (in most cases, you could transfer later.) </p>
<p>But… Keep in mind that you are going to a world class college, you are one of the select LUCKY ones going to the school, and there are thousands of kids that would trade with you in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>Stay positive, nothing is more improtant than that.</p>
<p>Is this for real?
(HYP, Chicago full ride + “the problem lied with money”)</p>
<p>atomom, what is there is there not to believe: before I started to get into selective universities my parents said that they would not pay for them so I was potentially looking at $120,000+ in loans. After I got in, they changed their minds and I did too…</p>
<p>What sort of field are you thinking of majoring in? $15k really isn’t that horrible of a debt to have, and if you go to grad school in a technical field not only will you be funded, but your undergrad loans can be deferred.</p>
<p>By the time I finish with my PhD I’m going to have the same $15k in loans I had after graduating undergrad, except I’ll be making a bit more a year and inflation has reduced the actual value of the loans relative to if I had started paying it off three years ago.</p>
<p>I suspect atomom’s skepticism is based on your grammar/syntax, not the substance of your story. </p>
<p>Assuming you’re for real, many students experience buyer’s remorse after May 1. It’s likely you’ll love Yale once you get there. And as RacinReaver points out, $15,000 is a modest amount of debt to have to repay after graduating from one of the nation’s premier institutions.</p>
<p>Enjoy Yale, and transfer out if you’re unhappy after the first year. You’ll have good choices…no doors are closed, at this point.</p>
<p>I’m not buying this one.</p>
<p>^^^^either am I!</p>
<p>badwill,</p>
<p>pick up the phone. call the place you think you really want. ask.</p>
<p>I don’t understand what is there to buy or not buy - please, I just want advice at this point in time not criticism. If you do not believe me, do not post. I’m really angry at both my parents because I feel as though they effectively picked what college I would attend. Not everyone who gets into an Ivy League school wants to attend - am I not entitled to change my mind? Is it so unbelievable that someone would want to turn down Harvard, Yale, and Princeton? I will admit though that I believe that both of my parents comments are at least partially true; I want to succeed as an undergraduate and at least some part of me doesn’t think that I would do well at Yale. But it’s so much more than that - I want financial freedom in terms of being able to do unpaid work or take a low paying job after graduation. I want to be able to go straight to grad school without having debt looming over my shoulder - I just realized all this at the last possible moment.
Again, these “are you for real/I’m not buying this” comments are just mean because they imply that my situation is just unbelievable. What exactly about my story is not plausible?</p>
<p>Since your financial need is so high that you got a full ride to Chicago, it is not right that you did not get a full ride to Yale as well. You should appeal to Yale.</p>
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You wouldn’t need to worry about being a big fish in a small pond if you ended up at Chicago. There are other smart students there.</p>
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<p>There are more than our share of first time posters posing various scenarios that just waste everybody’s time. Has nothing to do with you not wanting Yale (I’d have voted for Chicago at the outset but too late for that). That is the only part of the story that makes sense to me. </p>
<p>Let’s see:
- You get into all these places (rare in and of itself statistically speaking, but okay possible)
- No prior history on CC
- Despite loving Yale, now making an unrealistic big deal about $15k (which in the big scheme of things, given your parents wealth is pretty trivial-- maybe buys a used car). The whole grad school thing only comes up in the second post, when the ‘freedom from debt’ doesn’t quite add up in the first post.
- And what the heck about the checks? You make your deposit online with a credit card. What, both your parents don’t have access to a phone? </p>
<p>Even if this is for real, given what so many kids struggle with, it’s hard to muster sympathy here. Your parents, who are footing most of the bill, are very happy with it. You love Yale. It is a great school (like all the others). You’ve had lots of time here to think about it. You are so fortunate compared to so many students. And if you are this mature and bright to have these options, I think you can learn to cope with this. Who knows what you’ll do after graduation (good Phd Programs are usually providing full funding for example). Enjoy the bird in the hand.</p>
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<p>There are more than our share of first time posters posing various scenarios that just waste everybody’s time. Has nothing to do with you not wanting Yale (I’d have voted for Chicago at the outset but too late for that). That is the only part of the story that makes sense to me. </p>
<p>Let’s see:
- You get into all these places (rare in and of itself statistically speaking, but okay possible)
- No prior history on CC
- Despite loving Yale, now making an unrealistic big deal about $15k (which in the big scheme of things, given your parents wealth is pretty trivial-- maybe buys a used car). The whole grad school thing only comes up in the second post, when the ‘freedom from debt’ doesn’t quite add up in the first post.
- And what the heck about the checks? You make your deposit online with a credit card. What, both your parents don’t have access to a phone? </p>
<p>Even if this is for real, given what so many kids struggle with, it’s hard to muster sympathy here. Your parents, who are footing most of the bill, are very happy with it. You love Yale. It is a great school (like all the others). You’ve had lots of time here to think about it. You are so fortunate compared to so many students. And if you are this mature and bright to have these options, I think you can learn to cope with this. Who knows what you’ll do after graduation (good Phd Programs are usually providing full funding for example). Enjoy the bird in the hand.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth:</p>
<p>Last year my son was in a similar situation (abet very, very different schools!): agreed to attend school A and after going a two day orientation, realized he had made mistake and wanted to go to school B, to which he had already declined acceptance. All through his junior and senior year, all he wanted was to go to school A. I had to push to get him apply to other colleges. </p>
<p>I was so confused but he was convinced he was making a mistake. He called school B (in late June) and explained the situation. Later that day while work, I received a text message telling that School B reinstated all his scholarships and that he had signed up for orientation and paid his dorm deposit. And that he was very happy. (Yes, I’ve saved that message.)</p>
<p>A year later, he could not be more pleased with his choice adn ow I see that he was right. I’m glad that he listened to his “gut” and that he owned his decision. He’s grown into a very mature and independent young man.</p>
<p>I will agree with you in stating that in perspective, my situation does not seem all that bad - there are kids dealing with a lot worse. I will note though that many more lurkers on this site that you would think, who have internalized the college admissions process CC-style without posting anything. I am one of those students and have now registered asking for help. It is not that rare to get into HYP considering the caliber of students who post here: it’s not like this is a forum for average students. Have you been to the chances forum?
Not all colleges accept credit card deposits - but I will admit that UChicago is one of them. If my Dad had left the check (so I could reimburse my mother using her credit card - my Dad does not do online purchases) that would have been his implicit way of saying “yes” - remember part of the reason why Chicago seemed appealing to me is that I can go to grad school debt free. I really doubt that if I go on a tangent against my parents’ wishes they will pay for grad school even if I picked Chicago.</p>
<p>Well I still don’t get it. </p>
<p>RE: Getting into HYP. Even in the highly competitive, elevated world of CC members, only 5%- 6 of 110 students on CC who applied to HYP - got into all 3 (according to Quantmech’s analysis). And even that stat is probably inflated from reality. So I’m just sayin’….combine that statistic with a) you being a ‘new member’ and b) some other preposterous facts and c) my gut instinct from reading cc for too long…I don’t believe this is real. </p>
<p>As for the whole payment thing: 1) the last time I looked, you can call anywhere in the world to discuss the point 2) why would your mother not have checks? and 3) Snail mail would have arrived too slow anyway. </p>
<p>Given what you’ve said about your parents so far, how they change their mind, I find it hard to swallow that you switching to U of C “against their wishes” would somehow translate to some kind of predictable outcome four years from now. And besides which, if it’s against their wishes, you are in a no win situation anyway-- from what you say, whether you go to U of C (due to ‘going against their wishes’) or to Yale (due to ‘no money available for grad school’), you end up at the same place: no funding for grad school.</p>
<p>So, for the sake of argument, pretending this is for real, focus on what you’ve chosen. It’s a GREAT outcome. As for grad school, a) you can not possibly predict what you’ll want to do four years from now (it may or may not be grad school) b) your parents could as easily, and likely will, change their mind in four years (as they have demonstrated already in a much shorter time) and c) you should be fully funded if you enter a PhD program so it’s a moot point.</p>
<p>So big deal you owe $15k after four years, which truly is nothing (you are not going to go through life ‘debt free’ for very long no matter what anyway). And this outcome is assuming your parents don’t also change their mind about picking up this bill! I suspect they will.</p>
<p>If you want financial independence, get a job. If you had done that 2 years ago, you could have had your own money, your own bank account, and written your own deposit checks. </p>
<p>(I too am skeptical. I would have expected that anyone capable enough to be admitted to HYP and get a generous scholarship from U. of Chicago would have things together enough so that the scenario described would not have occurred. )</p>
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<p>I assume the full ride at U of C is a merit-based award, not need-based aid. A student who qualified for a full need-based ride at U of C would certainly qualify for significant need-based aid at HYP.</p>
<p>I think atomom was pointing out the grammatical error and the fact that anyone getting into HY <em>and</em> P wouldn’t make such a blatant error. I’m with atomom.</p>