<p>Are any of you (students or parents) feeling that the cost of an education at the institution you chose is going to be more of a burden than you originally thought?</p>
<p>totally :( well actually I haven't started college yet but I totally didn't know until the last year that its actually going to be an issue for my family</p>
<p>Only when I think about what I could spend the amount of money on if I wasn't paying for college. Oh, you know things like paying off my mortgage.... completely</p>
<p>I'm with sue on this one.</p>
<p>The reason I ask is because we feel as if we dodged a bullet. </p>
<p>Our S was so excited about a school that is 50K/yr and I just don't know how well we would have been able to manage the costs and provide for all the other basics.</p>
<p>I think Rosie's comment is also very enlightening. Maybe as parents some of us are not doing as good a job as we should discussing the realities of family finance.</p>
<p>I've been talking about the financial reality of college with my D (rising senior) for at least two years. We've told her that we can afford our local university (which is the University of Washington so not such a bad thing) and if she wants to go anywhere else, the money needs to come from somewhere else and no loans allowed. She was okay with that. </p>
<p>Then we realized that she's done so well that she can undoubtedly get some merit aid somewhere. So I told her that even though we can afford UW, if she's offered something really good somewhere else, we're not so rich that we can't afford pass it up without at least giving it serious consideration and it may be that she'll have to step outside her geographic comfort zone. And she's (sort of) okay with that, too.</p>
<p>Kids are adaptable, but you can't slap them with harsh reality at the last second. You need to give them time to adjust. D has a friend who's apparently well off parents waited until partway through her senior year to tell her they wouldn't/couldn't help her with college expenses at all. That was not okay.</p>
<p>Jaf1991, I agree that kids are adaptable and usually can cope with reality - but they are sometimes thrown under the bus. Poor kids grow up knowing their reality. Middle class kids may not realize just how tough it is financially for their folks but probably have heard complaints along the way about how tough times are. Hopefully college costs have been discussed early on, as so many parents advise. It's the kids who grow up with all the luxuries (McMansions, given cars when they get their license, designer clothes, shoes, coach bags, etc) with parents making a good income, who find out at the last minute that their parents will not pay - not that they can't pay. Those kids never saw it coming.</p>
<p>"The reason I ask is because we feel as if we dodged a bullet."</p>
<p>Yep, that's how we feel around here; we NEVER mentioned anything to our D other than we will make it work; she ended up choosing the school with the large merit scholarship...Certainly allows us to breathe a little more for D2 (who will certainly not be eligible for merit $$).....</p>
<p>Sure, we would have "managed" but the extras (and even some of the necessities) would have been difficult with the $50,000 school....</p>
<p>Rodney---we have one in the wings as well....</p>
<p>I think even when you think you can do it, it sometimes only takes an unexpected job loss, major house repair, etc. to throw it off. My niece had to finance more of her tuition the last 2 years..her mom was sick and couldn't work, etc. and had a larger loan than first thought at graduation. She is doing well though and decided although it wasn't the "cool" thing to do, to live home after college, she would do that for a few years and put most of her money on her loans and saving for a condo downpayment. Even splitting rent and utilities and food, she was spending too much on it and couldn't save very much. Sure there are occasional issues, but I'm proud of her and how she maturely took a situation and found a way to deal with it.</p>
<p>All of this brings up the recurring theme that kids are too young to start thinking about college until... usually end of sophomore, beginning of junior year, or so. We all still want kids to be kids. But isn't it important for them and their families to really start thinking about this way earlier? It's all connected. Kids don't all of a sudden start to do well in junior year, so they have good grades that will enable merit aid. Also, families should, as you say, have "The Conversation" early enough so that it is all out in the open. Doesn't that have to begin early as well? I don't know the answer. My D is entering her second year at An Ivy. She has a very good FA package and an outside scholarship due to her excellent SAT scores. She has said many times that she is where she is because of everything that she ever did. I would agree with that. We never pressured her to be anything other than who she is, and it turned out really well for her. I realize how lucky we are (H and I often walk around saying "lucky lucky lucky lucky...") And it's weird. It's a rock and a hard place, for sure. We don't want kids to grow up too soon and to only have one thing on their minds-- getting into a good, affordable college. But on the other hand, we can't dangle this carrot in front of their noses at the last minute and then whip it away. Conundrum.</p>
<p>For those of us caught in the middle class squeeze, thick envelopes can bring ecstasy and economic peril. When we do this again next year we'll have a much better sense of where to apply, given the economic realities we face.</p>
<p>I think kids can still be kid and not be raised in some sort of protective bubble, completely insulated from the reality of their parent's lives. Since our daughter knew from the time she started junior high that she would have to cover the cost of any college expenses over the cost of our local university, she kept her focus on doing well in school and taking all the right classes. She's now in a position where she has options. </p>
<p>Her friends, who's parents were less forthcoming, screwed around hanging out doing exactly nothing with 100% of their free time, which was considerable as they certainly weren't doing their homework, and don't have the same options. Now she and I are researching scholarships all over the country. It's a partnership and it's working really well. And it's fun. It's wonderful to see how rewarding it is for her, finally. </p>
<p>I will say, though, that even though my D is young for her grade, I've always felt she was exceptionally mature and able to postpone instant gratification for a long-term goal.</p>