Calling all 800 SAT II Writing People

Test Preparation
1

<p>This title is slightly misleading. Please grade my second essay.</p>

<p>Topic: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?
Support your position with examples with literature, history, or your mom.</p>

<p>The mere mentions of power, wealth, or fame are enough to cause people to do outlandish things. In fact, some people have even commited attrocious crimes for these things. However, as evidenced by Arthur Dimmesdale in the Scarlet Letter and Ghandi, conscience is often a much more powerful motivator than either fame, money, or power.</p>

<p>In Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter, we see that consciousness drives people more than power or fame. Arthur Dimmesdale is a very well respected man in Puritan Salem; he is a minister whi is "blameless and holy in his own right". Because people see him as blameless, he is very well adored and famous in a town of Christian ideals. Since people see him as pure, he also holds a great deal of power and influence. However, he knows that this illusion will be shattered if he tells the townspeople about his affair with Hester Prynne, a woman who has been branded with the ghastly red "A", short for adultress. In the end, though, Dimmesdale tells the townspeople about the affair and risks losing his fame and influence. Surely, conscience prevailed over power or celebrity.</p>

<p>Over the course of history, Ghandi was an example of a person who was motivated by conscience rather than money. Born into a wealthy family, Ghandi had the option of living an oppulent life with many riches. However, he left his wealthy Indian household to fight for Indians' independence from Britain. He gave up his material possessions and participated in hunger strikes because he felt Indians needed to gain independence from Britain. Although Ghandi's hunger strikes left him physically drained and on the verge of death, India was able to its' independence from Britain in 1947. Once again, conscience triumphed over money.</p>

<p>Whether in colonial literature or in 20th century times, conscience has proved time and time again to be a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power. Yes, maybe mankind is more virtuous than originally thought.</p>

2

<p>Your Nathaniel Hawthorne example is FANTASTIC. I don't think I would ever think of that :\ Then again, I guess fame didn't count for much in a puritan society. </p>

<p>Anyway, nice essay, but too short. I'll give ya a 10.</p>

3

<p>Much better than your other one about motivation. I'd give this a 9-11.</p>

4

<p>I've never taken the writing test before, but I guess I will in March now that I don't have a choice. Can you make up evidence to support your claim? I'd think they don't have the time to check accuracy, so if you made up some interesting piece of information, I'd imagine it could add to your essay's strength?</p>

5

<p>That's a very good essay with excellent support. I would give it an 11. However, try to be concrete and specific. For example, avoid using ambigious words and phrases such as "things" and "over the course of history." </p>

<p>Also, you could try to incorporate some transition words to put at the beginning to your paragraphs like "however," "for example," and "likewise."</p>

6

<p>dodgerblue...you could make up evidence if it's believable. However, you always run the risk of your reader actually knowing the truth.</p>

7

<p>quick ques, whats first m.c or the essay?</p>

8

<p>essay, though if you have time at the end you can go back to either.</p>