<p>How did you deal with your s/d going out of state for college?</p>
<p>That question is very broad and non-specific.</p>
<p>Are you asking about my emotions, of my d being out-of-state?
Are you asking how we handled transportation back and forth?
Are you asking how we get her stuff back and forth?</p>
<p>What are you asking?</p>
<p>Are you a parent or the student? If the parent, are you talking about a senior whose departure is imminent?</p>
<p>crossposted w/mtpaper. lol, we ask a lot of questions on cc.</p>
<p>Emotions, how you felt, ect.</p>
<p>Sad to see her go; happy that she was so happy.</p>
<p>Agree w MDmom. Felt exactly the same. Skype was my savior. Being able to see her happy face and talk to her weekly really helped me see that she was adjusting well, that she was healthy and that she truly was happy. That was all I needed to know.</p>
<p>I will say that my D and I had quite few arguments the month or so before she left. I wanted to make sure that she had everything she needed before she left and was organized about what she was going to purchase once there. I think I was trying to hold on my to my little girl and she was trying to become more independent. It all worked out fine, but that was something new for us becuase we always got along really well.</p>
<p>And I just read on my DD’s FB page that she has applied for an internship for this summer at her college–her government internship here fell through because of the hiring freeze. She stayed at school last summer for a language program and though I really would like for her to have a J-O-B, I would also love to have her home for the summer. </p>
<p>They grow up so fast. <em>sigh</em></p>
<p>Skype, unlimited calling cell plan, read the campus paper every couple of days to stay on top of the news there.</p>
<p>I never expected either of them to be in state so I am happy for them. Older son who had been 300 miles away for college is going to be 2000 miles away now that he’s graduated. That’s harder to take! (Though at least he’ll be somewhere fun to visit.) Younger son is about 200 miles away and near most of my family so that’s not so bad. He’s going to be overseas for a good part of the summer in a part of the world that is not exactly peaceful right now - now THAT makes me nervous!</p>
<p>I miss my daughter but am happy that she is thriving at her college, 2000 miles away. I do worry when bad things happen; the phone ringing at night always make my heart pound. When she is sick, I’m sorry I can’t go take care of her; on the other hand, not having to see her incredibly messy room at school is a good thing.</p>
<p>My S did not go out of state, but he might as well have since the close proximity of pre-college years is apparently gone forever.</p>
<p>I cried to myself many times the summer before college started for S. Once S started with school and with agreed upon contact by phone (once a week) and some cultural events together every now and then in NYC, the adjustment did kick in quickly after the early weeks.</p>
<p>At times, the memories come back vividly, hearing the school bus stop outside our door, seeing S wait at night for me after work (long after hubby had fallen asleep) and telling me he had been worried about me, seeing his childhood pictures and pictures of family trips, etc. Then there is nostalgia and sadness thinking about how our child is given to us “briefly” (though it did not seem that way when we kept changing diapers and having to sit with a sleepless child nights on end). Some times I read about murders, burglaries, fights in NYC and I worry if S might become a victim of crime or mishap in the big city. There are also moments of emptiness without S’s voice and music/ media playing. </p>
<p>Other times (many times), I am relieved life is simpler with just hubby and I. Not having to worry about more complicated meals, getting involved in S’s school and social issues on a regular basis. </p>
<p>What really helps (echoing above) is hearing S share that he is having the time of his life, that school is phenomenal and that he is of the opinion “what is there not to like?” being a college student at a school that is a great match for him.</p>
<p>My D announced that she would not be attending school in our state when she was quite young, so I had years to get myself prepared! 
She made good on her promise, not even applying to any in state schools (including our excellent state flag ship where many of her friends applied). She ended up a VERY long ways away, and it was tough at first. While she wanted to be at the school, she was lonely … her friends were meeting new friends but had each other to lean on. She had no one she knew on campus, and her room mate situation left much to be desired. </p>
<p>So in addition to the normal “missing her” feelings, I was torn apart by her sadness. When I had to FORCE her to get in the car & drive back to school after Christmas break, I was heart broken. I always kept my emotions in check when I talked with her, and I did all I could to help her understand that things would get better.</p>
<p>She did end up making friends & having fun, so I was able to relax a bit second semester. She transferred to another school, also far away, sophomore year. Her transition was great, so I could be happy for her for awhile. Then she got sick, and it was so hard to have to be Doctor Mom when I was 9 or 10 hours away. We made it through that semester & she spent her summer getting diagnosed & fixed up.</p>
<p>The next fall, she spent the semester in Scotland. I hardly ever talked to her, but when I did, I knew that she was having a fabulous time. That made things very easy for me … I missed her, but I was thrilled for her. She came back in the spring and hit the ground running. Since that time, she has had some amazing experiences academically & socially. She stayed at school for the summer, doing research & an internship.</p>
<p>In less than a month, my first born will graduate. She will stay in the far-away city where she now attends school. She is working hard to find a job in her chosen field. I sometimes feel sad that she is so far away, but I really do feel close to her. It is so much easier to stay in touch than it was when I was away at school. We text, email, send pictures, call … I haven’t seen her since Christmas, but I watch her on her radio show through the online feed! I don’t feel that she is so far.</p>
<p>I wish I could see her more often, but I am so proud of her & happy for her that she is pursuing the life she wants to lead.</p>
<p>Happy to see them go. Sad to see them go. Proud that they wanted to spread their wings alittle.</p>
<p>i am trying my hardest to stay ’ detached & emotionless ’ now.</p>
<p>because i can get all emotional & cry for hours even thinking about her starting this ‘new college life’ thing</p>
<p>so , in my kid’s eye, mom is just sooooooooo ‘emotionless & cold’</p>