@sylvan8798 your posts sound very hostile. These are real diagnoses, like any physical disability.
Did you stop to think that if OPs D had a single, no roommates would be bothered by HER issues like sleep talking? (It’s not like she can help it).
This kind of hostility makes it seem as if you don’t “believe” the DX. I mean, why do wheelchair bound folks get special elevators? Maybe my legs are tired too? It just sounds silly/petty.
The inference that someone can “buy” a diagnosis is a bit offensive. There are probably some providers who might be less than ethical, but most quality, well trained providers will provide a diagnosis if the individual meets criteria for the diagnosis. That said, having a diagnosis alone is NOT sufficient- it must be supported by the test data that documents the functional limitation that impacts the person’s daily functioning, and rationale for the requested accommodations to provide equal access to the academic environment. That last part is key; they aren’t wanting some sort of advantage over other students - accommodations are to provide equal access. If a student has a visual impairment, glasses may provide equal access to materials. Would anyone feel this is not a reasonable accommodation for their disability? Hopefully not.
@mathyone - Not sure why you think I would lie about us moving our daughter in and out of Santa Cruz wouldn’t cost $1,000. Why would I exagerate that? What point would their be? To rent a minivan in the town I used to live in was $99 a day plus all the phoney-baloney charges, so typically around 339. Gas would run anywhere from 225 to 290 depending on what the current prices were in CA at the time. Lodging was typically around 175 or more. Throw in some meals, whether Dennys or fast food and it starts pushing the 1,000 mark. And find cheaper lodging? I got the cheapest rate I could while attaining overnight housing near UCSC so I could ensure she was settled and felt comfortable with me leaving. The first year that meant staying 2 nights.
You ask why it is I can afford an attorney but not be able to afford moving my daughter back and forth to SC. Not sure as to how I would afford an attorney; perhaps all I would need is a letter to be heard, I don’t know, and hopefully that wouldn’t cost much. I’ve lost or sold anything of value, but still have some jewelry that belonged to my g-mother and would sell that in a heart beat to help my kid if I needed to help pay for attorney’s fees. I needed help from a lawyer about a year ago and he and my husband bartered services.
—Some other person commented that I’m expecting the school to accomodate my kid by kicking someone else out of their single. I don’t expect that at all! I don’t have some self-righteous deal going on!! So far the double is working pretty well, but there are lots of moments I spend on the phone helping her through her anxiety. The reason I’m upset with the school is because she has already been told no for next year. The director wants more documentation before she will tell housing to give her a single and that’s what annoys me. I just supplied her with 15 pages of it. She never offered any other solutions. She simply wrote a one line email that basically said no. Putin has a warmer heart than this broad.
I really appreciate all the kind folks who reached out to me here and through PMs. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine when I posted this the other day that what I wrote would spark so much hostility. I was really hoping to connect with parents who have fought the disability office and maybe had solutions or suggestions. I don’t have some ego problem that provokes me to lie to cushion my story, and I’m not so self-absorbed that I think my little kitten deserves her own turret. I’m just a mom that is doing my best to see that my kid gets the education she deserves in the surroundings she needs. If that makes me a b!tch then so be it.
I’m out. Best wishes to you all!
Can’t she just apply for a single next year through Housing, not Disabilities, and get priority as a senior and by applying early?
@zeppelinlover Ignore the “unhelpful” few…there are always some. Good luck!
Sigh, I was trying to be helpful. I still cannot understand how it costs $1000, How does she need a minivan worth of stuff? Maybe it would help in the future just to bring less stuff? It’s not like you need a lot of bulky winter clothing and heavy bedding in Santa Cruz, like many other kids may need. Car rentals in California are usually quite cheap, if you get a regular car not a minivan. Yes, we took my daughter to her school in a minivan. We also had 4 people in the car, and a week’s worth of luggage for the 3 of us not being dropped off, plus some vacation equipment. And a lot of bulky stuff she would not have brought if space had been tighter. Her stuff fit in a much smaller vehicle on the way back.
I was also trying to be helpful with the suggestion that perhaps she could find a roommate with similar needs and then there would be peace and quiet in her room, not parties. But you ignored that idea, which I thought was quite a good one. There are apparently even several singles in her apartment. Can nothing be done to move her from a double to a single? Her roommates cannot see her suffering?
Oh, and you also ignored my thought that whatever some far-away psychologist may or may not think, if she had medical documentation of her panic attacks from the current housing situation. which is not a normal reaction, that might influence the administration. So just go ahead and ignore people and then fling insults.
I also was trying to be helpful by suggesting the family not deal with the disability office but try to find someone in housing to be kind and helpful. Use honey and not vinegar. Most people do want students, all students, to succeed.
With all the posts by OP, it’s become clear that the disabilities office does not feel the documentation is enough to merit a single or being moved to the top of the list because they’ve said she’s not getting one next year either. Okay, time to try the housing office, look for an off campus apt that can be a single, get the application in on time. It is also now reported that while things aren’t going great, the double is working. There must be a couch out in the living room if the two in the double can’t be in the room together every time they are in the apt. The disability office may also have access to a library study room.
It must be really frustrating to get all the paperwork, the re-testing, the plans to the disabilities office and have them decide that the request for a single is not supported by the documents. I don’t see what good that does for other posters to agree that it is awful but offer no solutions. What suggestions were offered by those posters who agree the student can demand a single? Keep demanding one? That’s not working. Have a lawyer send a letter? Lawyers like to think they are all- powerful, but they are not, and the university has lawyers too. More time not getting a single, more frustration.
Going back to UCSC is not really an option anymore. The family said it is too expensive and too far. My friend whose daughter also has NLD and Asperger’s had to move home because her school was just too far away. She now lives at home and commutes to a local school on the train. Not perfect, but what she needs is to be closer to home. Loved the first school, loved the disabilities office, too far from home.
Well I was hopeful that my suggestions suggesting how the documentation needs to be written would be helpful. The coordinator said it wasn’t sufficient, by her read, to justify the requested documentation. There may not be need for any additional testing, but rather some additional documentation from the psychologist providing justification for the requested accommodation. The “buzzwords” I included in my posts above were for a reason, as that is the language needed to qualify for accommodation. Good luck, OP.
Maybe intentions in this thread were to help, but I can understand why the original poster left.
Single rooms are a very common accommodation for all kinds of reasons.
Just one other comment: the process for housing accommodations at the UC we have dealt with is very complicated and involves both the disabilities office and housing. It is much harder to get housing accommodations than other kinds of accommodations.
I feel for the daughter and the parents and hope there is resolution in the future.
OP: In case you come back, I really hope this school is great for your daughter and that things improve financially for your family.
Please know that when these threads get going, the responses often get off track and responses may not be to you, but to things other posters have said. Or to offer explanations. I don’t think anyone (or almost anyone) was inferring you wanted to kick another kid out of their single, but just that the school may not have that option.
Next year she will be a senior. Is this a school that guarantees housing all 4 years? Do seniors get housing priority and/or move off campus? If so, maybe she will get a single as part of the housing lottery.
Anxiety meds are very effective, and there are a variety to choose from. I am sure you and she have considered this option. But, just raising the point that this could be an option for her. Also, if she has not tried cognitive behavioral therapy, I HIGHLY recommend it. As long as it’s from a very well-trained, experienced practitioner of the method. It really changes people’s lives. Between meds and CBT, there’s little reason for people to have to live with ongoing generalized anxiety any more.
"Stupid, if you think about it, cause ADHD and anxiety aren’t like a cold; they don’t come and go with changing wind storms. You have it forever! "
Not true, in our experience. Really depends on the situation. My son was diagnosed with ADHD, and the diagnosis was confirmed, then later refuted, by multiple doctors. Turns out he has another disorder that was leading to ADHD symptoms but rarer. Anxiety I’d be more likely to believe is forever. My other son was dx’d with autism, and he is still considered on the spectrum but I do not know if he would be diagnosed as such if he was evaluated de novo right now.
My son got an accommodation for a single; the school sounds like they are being extremely unfair to the OP’s daughter. Would your state’s, or California’s, protection and advocacy agency be a good place to contact? We had a lot of success with them on education issues.