<p>I've been going to my university almost 3 years now. I'm gonna be a 5 year student, but still I'm over halfway done. I've slowly been coming to realize that aside from classes, I don't have much of a life at school. I'm a commuter.</p>
<p>Since I don't live there, I really haven't met very many people at school. In 3 years, I've only made about 2 friends at school. But I can't do much. I still live with my parents, so at the end of the day, I have to drive home at night. I don't get invited to parties. I don't get invited to any events.</p>
<p>Every day, I'm starting to become more and more self conscious at the fact that in 3 years, I've only have 4 photos and 20 posts in my facebook. What can I do? Can a commuter have a life at college?</p>
<p>Okay, for starters, do not judge your social aptitude on your Facebook page. That's what they want you to do. DO NOT GIVE IN.</p>
<p>Secondly, if you're that concerned, is there any way you can move into college?</p>
<p>If not (money reasons, etc.) then a few ideas:</p>
<ul>
<li>Join clubs. Awesome way to meet people with similar interests so you don't even have to spend the time sorting out your derro neighbors from the good ones. I doubt you've got classes from 9 to 5 every day with no time to go for a few hours every week (but correct me if I'm wrong).</li>
<li>Get involved in a sport. Great way to meet people, keep fit and most will be the party-type.</li>
<li>Join a study group.</li>
<li>Ask those two friends if you can come along to any of their parties. You'll meet more people there.</li>
<li>Be social with people in your classes and tuts. Do you have any group assignments throughout the year? Ask if people want to meet up at your house or somewhere in town to discuss the project. Go for some drinks or dinner or something.</li>
<li>Every so often try crashing in someone's dorm room (obviously someone you're friends with). Plenty of socialising goes on in and around dorms without any parties or events being held so you'll meet plenty of people whether you want to or not.</li>
</ul>
<p>OP I'm in the same position. I commute from home; I've also been doing so for 3 years and I'm also going to be a 5 year student.</p>
<p>I have gone to parties, made friends, etc., but not even close to the amount of even the most socially awkward people that I know that live in dorms. Making friends and going to parties takes a LOT more effort if you commute. In first year, I made that effort (trying to meet people, asking about parties, etc.) and it worked pretty well. </p>
<p>The thing is, though, that I meet mostly acquaintances and I feel like I have to do the same thing every year (or even every semester sometimes). Now that I'm getting into upper division courses, people are getting more focused with school and less concerned with meeting people like they were in first year. So I do think that it's possible, but in my opinion it is very difficult for someone to commute and have a good -college life-. People in the dorms have it so easy, they don't even know.</p>
<p>It's pretty tough being a commuter. I commuted for 2 years, and I made only 2-3 friends. This past year, I moved into an apartment and started to go to parties and met a lot more people. Next year, I will be living in a different apartment with some new people, so that I can continue to "make up" for my first two years of not knowing anyone. I have to say, it is much better than commuting. I highly recommend at least living just off-campus.</p>
<p>You either have to have a well-established group of friends that can invite you to events, or you need to join student organizations and go to student events. Another thing that crossed my mind is VOLUNTEERING. There are usually service organizations around, and you can meet some great people there. I feel like once you have some good friends that don't know each other, you can start to branch out and meet different people, so make sure you don't just settle with one group of people. In any case, make sure you get involved. I had a tough freshmen year due to commuting and wanted to transfer. After getting more involved, I enjoy college much more. I hope that helps in some way.</p>
<p>jpell, good call on the volunteering. I did something at my University called "safewalk" where you patrol the campus with a female partner (it's always 1 girl, 1 guy) and get calls to walk people from point A to point B for 3 hours every shift... it was awesome for meeting people. Not only your partners, but the people that called to get walked. I got invited to a party after my 2nd shift.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, I just want to agree with something that Russell7 said.</p>
<p>I entered college basically as a sophomore (even though I'm going for 4 years total), and since I was already in some upper level classes, everyone was more academically focused. This meant that people weren't around to make friends as in more freshmen oriented classes. I was in an Intermediate level Spanish class, and since many students were freshmen, everyone wanted to get to know each other. In an upper level math class I took, everyone was down to business.</p>
<p>I'm a commuter and I enjoy it a lot. As you get more and more into your major, you'll start seeing the same people over and over again and start to speak with them on good terms. I know pretty much every upper level CS major by name, and feel comfortable speaking with just about all of them whenever, it certainly wasn't like that when I first started commuting.</p>
<p>I'm not concerned about parties and stuff like that, and I'm actually glad that commuting has given me the distance I need from this University so that I can focus on the things that are important to me, and keep my priorities straight. But while a friend of mine (who dorms), and myself were talking about the whole commuting/dorming thing, he told me that he's got a friend who's a commuter and that he thought that the guy dormed at first, because he was always around campus and everything all the time, so you can be there as much as you want probably. </p>
<p>But seriously, considering how many graduates are going to be "boomeranging" right back home after graduation (after going <em>gasp</em> at real world rent prices), I think it's better to have never left in the first place, you'll certainly avoid a lot of trouble later on if you wind up living at home after graduation.</p>
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But seriously, considering how many graduates are going to be "boomeranging" right back home after graduation (after going <em>gasp</em> at real world rent prices), I think it's better to have never left in the first place, you'll certainly avoid a lot of trouble later on if you wind up living at home after graduation.
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<p>Is the trouble because it's difficult to move back to that environment after the free for all in college?</p>
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Is the trouble because it's difficult to move back to that environment after the free for all in college?
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<p>Yes. Very big yes. Just got back from spending a year away overseas and had to move back home before I earn enough to get my own place. Cannot wait to move out.</p>