In the Common App under Recommenders, some schools include the “Other Recommender” category—and some (though not all) of those schools include “Family Member” as an example of who can provide a letter of recommendation in that category. I asked my child’s college counselor whether it’s really legit for a parent to write a LoR, since most parents are going to write an uncritically glowing letter. The counselor claims that a letter from a parent can be effective, if it’s specific enough (not just across-the-board “my child is the most wonderful child who ever lived”). Still, I’m skeptical. What do y’all think? Any experience or knowledge about whether admissions officers have any interest in reading a parent letter?
I have heard of siblings writing letters.
A few schools do ask for this. URochester did, when my daughter applied, and I too was skeptical about the value of a parent letter… but they sent a follow-up encouraging it, so I wrote one. She was accepted with merit, but of course I have no idea whether the outcome would have been any different without the parent rec! In two application cycles with my kids, that was the only time a parent reference was solicited.
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Unless the student is homeschoooled, I would only send a parent rec to the schools that ask for one.
To be clear, I’m only asking about the schools that list “Family Menber” in the list of who can write an “Other Recommender” letter. It shows up in a list like this:
Other Recommender
• Arts Teacher
• Coach
• Clergy
• Family Member
[etc.]
A few schools like Holy Cross, Smith, and Mt. Holyoke used to specifically allow a parent letter, but I don’t know if any do anymore.
Unless a college encourages like those ones would at one time, having a parent send a letter seems like terrible idea. A school counselor can explain any extraordinary circumstances, so that would only leave a parent saying positive things…which is exactly what an admissions officer would expect from a parent letter. It wouldn’t be additive.
Again, my question is about schools that explicitly DO list “Family Member” in who can write the letter—and this is always in addition to teacher letters.
If it says “family member” I would suggest someone other than the parent.
I had to write a parent LOR (required) for one of DDs applications. I have written tons of LOR for colleagues. But this one as a parent for my kid was very hard to do!
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If it’s an “optional” other recommender, then I likely would not submit a letter if you don’t have a coach, clergy or arts teacher.
No - I would not submit a family member letter (and family member doesn’t mean parent).
I’m not sure how it can be taken at face value even if an honest assessment - because of course a parent is going to say wonderful things, etc. Even if it’s not the case, how can an AO see it any other way.
So to me - if it’s optional and you have an impactful letter from another - usually they put employer there too - then fine.
If they don’t, I would not submit it.
If it’s mandatory, I’d find that teacher at school to submit “something.”
Unless they worked for an uncle or cousin and not even sure I’d do it then - I would not submit anything from a family member.
Just my take - of course, everyone will have differing opinions on this one.
Davidson required a parent reference when my kid applied. I think. Now that I think of it…it was a peer recommendation.
Let’s work backwards. Assume a school is affirmatively asking for a non-teacher LoR.
Why? They are looking for distinguishing aspects of that applicant outside of school academics. Could be leadership, initiative, empathy, perseverance in activities outside of academics.
What? Specific factual narratives that support the qualities under “why”.
Who? The letter writer needs to be knowledgeable and credible. LoR’s for the most part are third party observations about why the candidate is attractive to the school. IMO, the most knowledgeable and credible writers will be unrelated parties who have worked closely with the student. Could be sports, music, art, research, job or service related activities that have been an important part of the applicant’s life.
A parent may be knowledgeable, but has a lot to overcome to be credible. Unless the parent is describing a relationship that deals with an extraordinary circumstance, e.g. work in a small family business, co-primary care of siblings, health/economic distress within the family – things that impact the parent and where the parent is not just an observer, I’d avoid a parent LoR.
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Of course they can.
Will they be read considering the source? Of course they will.
ShawSon was partially homeschooled and a few schools asked for a letter from the head of his homeschool program, which was me. I called Rochester and Amherst or Williams and asked if they really wanted me to write a recommendation for my son. The answer was absolutely yes. One told me to begin the essay by a) going into more detail on the reason for the homeschooling (the kid was brilliant and severely dyslexic) and b) quickly explaining my qualifications for judging his intellectual abilities.
So, after saying it was an awkward recommendation for me to write, I then explained that I went to three of HYPSM and was a professor at one so that I’ve worked with very bright kids and also did alumni interviewing for my alma mater. I then wrote that ShawSon “is not your typical bright top-of-his-high-school-class kid. He shows many signs of being the exceptional type. My judgment is based on a lifetime (his) of experience of teaching him and watching how he thinks.” I then gave examples that suggested exceptional abilities.
I also said that I didn’t want to make him sound “like the second coming of the cross between Albert Einstein and Albert Schweitzer” and explained a couple of his deep deficits.
Then I explained what I saw in him that would cause him to be very successful in life (as not all brilliant folks are successful).
He got into the schools that got that recommendation.
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And that’s an excellent letter.
Admissions can tell the difference between that and “Little Susie is the bestest bestest student ever. With her genes, how could she not be?”
Anything I ever wrote for my student, and signed, did have a MICR line on the bottom, with the ABA routing number. 
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