Can anyone critique my extracurricular essay?

<p>"Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences."</p>

<p>I plan to submit this essay to Vandy, USC, and Rice. I'll PM it to any readers.</p>

<p>If you still need feedback, I’d be happy to read it:)</p>

<p>Hey I would like to read it. Good luck</p>