It is vary late in the game to be starting to consider fin aid and educate yourself to how it works. Also, safeties are not just those that offer the particular major you want. They are schools you know, in advance, that you can likely both get into and can afford.
You learn, in advance, what the college’s policies are, regarding aid, in general, and aid to internationals. You run the NPCs, to get a rough estimate of what you will be awarded and be expected to pay. Many colleges just don’t have the money, in the first place, to go giving every kid/family what they think they “need.”
Besides that, the wise path is to act fast and not spin in circles-- they want the Fafsa and you think you can’t provide one. You have to problem solve. But as said, it’s late. You said you couldn’t find a form for internationals, but did you ask them?
http://www.edupass.org/finaid/fafsa.phtml
So is the 23k a merit award? Whether or not it stays available for commuting depends on what the award states. Again, you could ask them whether it still applies.
The individual colleges are required to be somewhat consistent in their procedures for FA for all kids in a category (various categories.) If they require the Fafsa for internationals seeking some form of aid, then you have to conform. They can’t just five you money because you say you need it.