Can anyone read my Dean's Scholar Essay? (please)

<p>Hello! </p>

<p>I just recently found out that I was accepted into Baruch! I received a second email from them saying that they want me to apply to their Dean's Scholar program. I didn't apply for Macaulay so I was surprised that they sent this email. Anyway, we have to write an essay as part of our application. The topics are:</p>

<p>Evaluate a significant risk you have taken or ethical dilemma you have faced and discuss its impact on you.</p>

<p>Discuss some issue of local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.</p>

<p>Tell us about a book, artwork, or lab experiment that changed the way you see the world. </p>

<p>What was it about the work that affected you? How did your world become different?</p>

<p>Submit a personal essay of your choice.</p>

<p>I just finished my draft on the Personal Essay and I was wondering if anyone would kindly take few minutes from their day to read it and contribute some suggestions on the areas I can improve upon. Thanks.</p>

<p>i can help. pm me. :)</p>

<p>bump! 30 hours left! I appreciate anyone willing to read my essay :)</p>