Can anyone revise my UC essay prompt 1 please?

<p>Hi, I am an international student who is trying to apply for UC schools this year.</p>

<p>As you guys can see, I am having trouble with writing my essays.
(Especially grammatical errors)</p>

<p>If you have time, could anyone help me revise my prompt 1?</p>

<p>i'll help you out, PM it over. where are you from?</p>