Can anyone recommend a department or someone to contact that helps incoming freshman at Emory University who are lonely and have not made new friends yet. My daughter who is very social has not found her place and is very unhappy. Can anyone at the school reach out and help?
Suggest that your daughter advocate for herself by reaching out for help – there is the counseling center, for example, if she’s depressed. But considering she’s been on campus how long? a week maybe? she should also understand that it’s not unusual she hasn’t made new friends yet. It doesn’t happen overnight. At this point in the year, she should be focusing on meeting many people and joining many activities to help her do it. Expecting instant friendships isn’t realistic.
Is she affiliated with any religion? There are usually very active religious student groups, including some that schedule regular meals together, and they could probably have someone reach out to her. More info is here: http://www.emory.edu/home/life/religious-life.html
If she has a car or can use zipcar, she can also start exploring ways to get involved in the larger communities of Decatur and Atlanta.
If she is living on campus, there should be someone in her dorm available to help freshmen adjust.
She could also try reaching back out to any of the “orientation leaders” who are there to help freshmen adjust: http://www.osls.emory.edu/programs/orientation/captains.html
She could search for student organizations and reach out to leaders of those she is interested in here: http://osls.emory.edu/student_orgs/
http://studenthealth.emory.edu/cs/services/index.html
Is there an RA in her dorm to contact? Keep in mind confidentiality might be an issue. Is she over 18?
I’m guessing the folks at Emory will not discuss this with the parent. But there are student resources the student can access. Start with the RA.
Here’s the official department that is responsible for helping new students transition to college: http://www.osls.emory.edu/about/index.html
Many kids get off to a slow start. It took my S a while to find his friends in college.But she needs to take the initiative. I’d suggest some of the following things to her:
Talk to the RA.
Find out when there is a club fair and sign up/get involved in things of interest.
Go to on-campus activities.
Hi. I sent you a private message.
I am sorry to read about this. It breaks my heart, but she can make it better. As others have suggested, it is still early and not unusual for freshman to not have friends at this stage. Encourage you daughter to go to as many scheduled activities as she can. Tell her to try and sit with someone or a group at meal times. I know it is hard to just go up to strangers and ask to sit with them, but really they will not think it is a big deal and may welcome her company. Tell her to smile when she sees people, say hi to other girls on her floor and keep her dorm room door open when she is in there. Best of luck to her.
It can also help to seek out people in the dorm who chose not to go to a scheduled activity that also was of no interest to you.
For example, if there’s a fraternity party and lots of people are going, but this sort of thing doesn’t appeal to you, seeing who’s in the dorm lounge during the party could help you find friends who share your lack of enthusiasm for fraternity parties.
At D2’s school, freshmen have to take a class that is something like ‘freshmen success’. It is for 1 credit, and the biggest part of it is to gather points by attending things - games, concerts, student government events, homecoming, etc. They swipe there student IDs at events. Honestly, some go, swipe, and leave, but for those who give it a chance it does seem to help them find a place. I know my daughter found a few things she’d not have known about but for the required swipe (grumbling about it all the time).
My other daughter, who is very social, just went with the crowd - football games when she had no interest, events at the Union, eating places other than the cafeteria. One or two friends grew to a crowd. She really will talk to anyone.
Each house (dorm) at Emory runs freshmen activities for their floor and the house as a whole. They just had Songfest this past weekend and my D made new friends cheering them on within her dorm. She also tried attending some community service welcome activities as a way of meeting new people; she’s not into Greek life at all. Sometimes you just have to be a little brave and go out of your way to be friendly and try activities you might not otherwise. I hope your D is successful.
I forgot to say that each house should have both a junior and senior year RA (my D had one on her floor), as well as a regular Emory “housemaster” who is not a student (can’t think of the exact title.) They’re all been trained to assist students as needed and should be able to refer your D to any services she needs.
Some times the kid who is somewhat unhappy dumps that on the parent, who worries a lot. Meanwhile, the kid has found a friend or done a few things and is happier - but does not let mom and dad know. Hope that is the case here. Sometimes it is harder for kids who had a great group of friends in HS to adjust to college, since it takes a while to make connections.
Hope she is doing better!
Don’t mean to bash Emory, but as a parent I felt there were unnecessary constraints placed on freshman that keep them from meeting other students outside their dorm or even their dorm floor. There are minimal activities on the weekend and students were finding their way into Atlanta for things to do. Sometimes in not good situations. Greek life is under massive scrutiny and doesn’t make it easy for freshman to navigate that social scene. Parties are kept under the radar and makes it hard to meet anyone if you are just starting out. I could go on and on but I will stop here. Emory is a beautiful campus but fails to embrace its students and leaves them without necessary options to socialize. Anyone who builds its “quad” on the other side of campus fails at providing a socializing space for students to enjoy the gorgeous weather. Oh yes, it is not particularly a friendly place. Most student walk with their heads down. My student left.
I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for your student and I hope they’ve found a better fit. I can understand you might be having feelings of anger but saying most students walk with their heads down is pretty silly and patently false. My child is quite busy with activities on the weekends, both on and off campus. It’s all about fit.
I am specifically talking about lack of Freshman social activities . The school takes no initiative to have planned activities on the weekend facilitating friendships. Just look on the calendar - day after day there is basically nothing for freshman except the 50 activities on parents weekend . As a freshman you are not allowed a car on campus and off campus activities whether near or far require transportation . (I specifically paid for uber transportation many times to take students to activities elsewhere ) Student government and dorm communities have ample time in the spring to plan for fall activities like evening campus bbq / sport relays / lawn parties- anything to get those kids out of the dorm. Once song fest is done there is nothing . There is so much potential there but under the present culture , it’s a very big disappointment .
My D is a junior (abroad this semester) and I’m sorry leeislegal that your child was unable to make friends during their time at Emory. My D made friends her fall of freshman year but when she returned in spring her roommate turned nasty and made her feel out of place with their old crowd. She had to start over to find new friends and after about two weeks reaching out to classmates and joining some community service groups, she was much better off. The second time around she found people she had much more in common with and will share an apt. with some of them.
@eddie4545: I am sorry you are going through this. My older daughter, now a junior at another school was really homesick her first semester freshman year, AND first couple of weeks first semester second year!! She talked to the RA and her fresman advisor. They advised getting involved on campus. She joined a whole bunch of clubs. She also joined the women’s boxing club (went once then stopped) and intramural soccer. After a few meetings, met people, and stuck with a club she liked, got involved with that club. I think that is the way to handle it. The idea of going off campus doesn’t solve the problem because kids need to meet friends on campus. I know what that worry feels like, I hope the kiddo adjusts quickly!!
My daughter is a freshman at a different school ( she loved Emory but her current school was better financially for us and she loved both schools). Anyway she was/is also homesick and is starting to do much better despite not knowing anybody except her roommate ( who she loves) and suite mates ( is friendly with some). She joined several very big groups/clubs/organizations on campus and has gotten positions/ committees for all. This is what she loves ( not a party kid and does not enjoy hanging out- she needs scheduled activities) and this is what will become the basis for her social life. I am sure Emory also has clubs etc on campus and if your daughter seeks them out she will eventually find her niche. Hang in there- I know how hard this is.