<p>My daughter is a college sophmore. My oldest son is a HS junior and we've been having fun (okay, I've been having fun) visiting campuses. Since son is a computer nerdy guy and daughter is social-type el ed major I came up with a different set of colleges to visit. My husband has convinced me that we need to look at some state schools so I made two appointments, one Friday and one Saturday, to look at two of them. The one on Saturday is one where our daughter was accepted at their Honors college. </p>
<p>Here's where the problem part comes in - my daughter just told me that she never declined the acceptance when she decided where to go to school. She didn't do anything. It's small for a state university with just 6,000 students and the honors program is just a few hundred. She also told me that she meant to, but forgot to get back to another college where she was accepted and offered merit aid. Of course, now that she is older and more mature she tells me that she feels badly about not responding but she was just so BUSY at that time, it just didn't get done. So, do I apologize right away on Saturday after the info session or just remain slightly anonymous and hope they don't connect the kids. Might be a problem with the same last name, address and school.....</p>
<p>Just my humble opinion, but I wouldn't say anything at all. Colleges take a "no response" to mean "no." Of course it is MUCH better to write a polite letter, but I don't think you have anything to gain in dredging this up. They've long ago forgotten and moved on.</p>
<p>Hoping you get a response from one of our "resident experts" (jamimom? carolyn?...), but as another layperson, I'd go with the building consensus. Not highly likely that they'll be cross-referencing this year's applicants with two years ago.</p>
<p>Nedad is right. When you are accepted you have a month or so to reply - to RSVP so to speak. If you don't respond, it means you aren't going. A polite letter, explaining how dearly you would have loved to attend East Jabypp (from that "Accept my Kid, Please!") book, is the right and proper thing to do, but with so many bajillions of kids out there, no one is going to remember or care.</p>
<p>I would just let it go. I think that the etiquette did sink into your D's head since it does bother her and she does remember. My older son doesn't remember where he applied, much less where he got in, and about letting the schools know he wasn't coming--ha! It's just one of those things you teach your kid and hope that some of it registers and it appears as though it has.</p>
<p>I'd let it go for now...but check their application if your son does get interested. I have seen a few applications that ask "has a family member ever applied to our school before?"</p>
<p>Most schools have some sort of card you send back saying what you are doing, I am SURE those get lost, misfiled, and a good proportion of students never sent it in...let it go and not worry, even if they ask if a family member has applied, they won't say "oopps, never got that card!! from that girl"</p>
<p>Sounds like everyone agrees. I will forego the guilty conscience and make sure that Son doesn't repeat his sisters mistakes. Thanks for they heads up Carolyn about looking for the question about family members applying.</p>