<p>Hey CC, longtime lurker, first time poster.
Unfortunately i was denied to UCB, my absolute perfect school. Although my scores and GPA werent great, i felt like they would be good enough to get in if i wrote good essays which i thought i did. Especially since ive heard some pretty crazy stories of people who got in who had extremely lower scores than i, but i acknowledge scores arent everything.
It would be amazing if somebody here would help me out with this appeals letter, i really want to get in to UCB and hey, appealing doesnt work a whole lot (a little more than 10 percent of the time for the 2008-2009 years) but its worth a damn shot at this point, because it beats the crap out of city college with my parents.</p>
<p>Here is my first draft, it needs work, but thats why it is a first draft.</p>
<p>First off, i would like to thank you for taking time to review my appeal and reconsider me for admission. I am writing this letter in response to my denial of admission for fall 2010. My name is Jack Robbins. I ask that you and your staff take another look at my application and at the new material i will be presenting to you and please reconsider me for admission in the fall of 2010. If I am still denied admission for fall, i would like to be deferred to spring.
From my gatherings of two campus tours and countless hours of research of U.C Berkeley, i know that U.C Berkeley looks not only at grades and test scores, but at what students are able to accomplish outside the classroom and look for diverse, unique candidates. In the application process i think that i was unable to effectively show my accomplishments outside of the classroom. My greatest accomplishment outside the classroom was my ongoing involvement with Skate One Distribution, for two years now i have been filming, editing and organizing footage of skateboarders here in Santa Barbara. What i think that the admission department overlooked and what i was unable to express on my application was how involved i was in this. Being the filmer of this team meant going anywhere the team chose to go and being there at all times. The reason i dont have many other extra curriculars is because all of my time was devoted to this team. The reason being is that for a while i thought that professional videography would definitely be a career path for me, but now i see it more as a fun hobby. Unfortunately for me, i think that the dream of becoming a professional videographer distracted me from my studies, mainly because weekends were spent on the road, traveling to the next skate spot. The job required organizational skills and a lot of motivation. Through this experience i have gotten to live out a once in a lifetime opportunity that i doubt any other applicant accomplished, i interned for a global skateboard company, meeting deadlines, organizing files and footage, i answered to the Vice president of Promotions, and i got to see the world through a lens. This took me to some obscure places such as Pacoima, CA, a neighborhood known mostly for its extremely violent gangs, all in the name of skateboarding. What i am trying to get across that i failed to in my application is that this experience has made me a unique candidate for admission and not only that, i am able to handle major responsibility and be very driven.
I have concluded that i was probably denied admission from U.C Berkeley due to a lack of rigorous courses. I didnt take an A.P class until my senior year, but in my perspective that is a positive thing. What i would like to do now is explain my choice of courses taken in high school. I started off a pretty unmotivated freshman, my first weighted class i was accidentally put in, this was Quantitative Physics, after doing this i realized that i was able to succeed in higher level classes but I didnt take much action on it. During Ninth and tenth grade i wasnt very focused on college and what i was going to do later in life, i was enjoying my skateboarding and my recent opportunity with Skate One Distribution. My second semester of 11th grade I finally started to really care about where i was going, but it seemed a little late, still i took a few honors or GATE classes. Now in my senior year i have become more motivated than ever and after my first visit to the UC Berkeley campus, i have taken two extra years of Mathematics both at College level and recieved a B in Calculus at SBCC and am still finishing up my second class (Math 117 Statistics), although i got my term grades and i held an A in that class. I feel like my transcript and the classes i put down in my application (those from 10th-11th grade) do not accurately reflect what type of a student i am today. I am motivated to succeed and i consider myself a late bloomer, although unfavorable for me, i dont believe i should be punished for realizing that i really want to achieve great things just a little bit late. My senior year was the most rigorous year at my high school and i think that shows extreme motivation and a great improvement from my begginings in 9th grade. You may see for yourself on my transcript my progression of the amount of rigorous courses taken and the GPAs earned for each semester. This term i recieved a gpa of 4.67, that is my all time high for GPA, and this is happening in my final semester of senior year. Although i dont have the same rigorous courses as many applicants had, i have shown my ability to do well in the higher level classes.
I would like to explain now, why U.C Berkeley is my top choice and ultimately why i am appealing my denial of admission. U.C Berkeley is my school because of the world renowned economics department. I had my first taste of economics during my first semester of senior year in my Advanced Placement Microeconomics and Advanced Placement Macroeconomics, I acceled in both these courses recieving A's in both micro and macro. These two classes led me to UC berkeley because i love economics and when i searched "best schools for economics", UC Berkeley was in the top 10. The fact that UC berkeley is in the top 10 for best school in economics, is in-state, and close to home is the perfect combination for me. The 2009 Nobel prize for economics affirmed my desire to go to UC berkeley and it all seemed to be timed perfectly. UC berkeley is a school that is ranked very highly for my field of study, close to home, and is home to so many Nobel laureates including the most recent prize in economics. I hope to at least take a class with Mr. Oliver Williamson, but my focus is more on Macroeconomics and international economics, so i hope to study more with Mr. Barry Eichengreen due to his intriguing work with international economics, and Mr. Maurice Obstfeld and his work in monetary economics. Being taught under these amazing professors who have accomplished so much would be very stimulating and one of the best opportunities of a life-time. I am aware that right now on my application my intended major is Mathematics, but as you can see my major would be changed to economics.
Thank you for your time in reading my appeal and i hope you take very careful consideration into offering me admission in fall 2010 or spring 2011. </p>
<p>For your info, i had already wrote a little bit about the skateboard filming thing in my application, i know they say not to include stuff you already did, but i feel like they didnt understand really what it was. Especially since it is my main EC i feel like it is extremely important they understand it.
Any help is appreciated,
thanks!!</p>