Can Somebody Score My SAT Practice Essay?

Should people who are more fortunate than others have more of a moral obligation to help those who are less fortunate? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

While the consensus and more appealing answer to question is yes, individuals who are more fortunate not morally obligated to help those who are less fortunate. Those who hold enormous wealth have worked extremely to get where they are in life. On the other hand, many individuals who are less fortunate have made crucial mistakes and the wealthy shouldn’t pay for their mistakes. All in all, the wealthy shouldn’t be morally bound to a cause they have no connection with.

Most wealth individuals have worked for their for success. For example, the late Steve Jobs, who co-founded the billion-dollar company Apple, had to sneak into college classes to gain knowledge. Jobs had humble roots and took what little knowledge he to transform a billion dollar company. Why should he have be morally bound to donate his money when he had to work hard to gain success? In conclusion, individuals who have worked their wealth not be forced or cajoled into giving away their wealth. 

In addition, many individuals who are less fortunate are in the position they are in because of their prior actions. Many have chosen to participate in illegal activity and may not have made the best choices. They might not have chosen to study hard or work hard. These people should not be given “free money” because of this. They should have work hard themselves and make it on their own.  All in all, the less fortunate should not be allowed to benefit from the success of hardworking individuals. 

It is simply not right to force those who have worked hard to give away their money. However, if a wealthy individuals desires to donate his money, he should have that right. Regardless, they should not feel like they have to. The media should not portray those who do not as negative human beings. In summary, it is an individual’s right to donate money their definite right and they should feel no outside pressure to do so. 

In conclusion, those who are have more fortune should not be morally obliged to donate their money to the less fortunate. Those who are fortunate have worked hard and should do with their money as they please. In addition, they should not have to pay for the mistakes of other indivuals. In brief, there are variety of reasons to why a wealthy indivuals is not morally bound to help the less fortunate.  

8 - there are lapses in grammar/sentence structure as well as reasoning. Good essays typically use 2 or more examples, with at least one example per body paragraph. The only firm example that you used was Steve Jobs, so I would recommend using more apparent examples next time. The only other suggestion that I have is to sprinkle in some good SAT vocab - it adds authority to your writing. I think I had this on an actual SAT, and I was able to get away with writing about Selena Gomez (I think lol) and get a 10 because I sprinkled in some solid vocab in there.

Thanks!

Score: 8
You have a really good essay— you just need to improve on grammar usage. Your vocabulary is also good, too.

If you have time, can you score mine?
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1763993-score-my-essay-ill-score-yours.html

Thanks!