Can someone give me some feedback on my transfer essay? (Urgent)

<p>This is my second draft of the essay and I need to submit it as soon as possible. I am a transfer international student and was wondering if someone is willing to look at it and give me feedback? Thank you very much.</p>

<p>Send it over.</p>

<p>Send it to me.</p>

<p>Sent to both. Thanks so much. ^^</p>