Can someone grade my ACT essay?

http://www.act.org/content/dam/act/unsecured/documents/Preparing-for-the-ACT.pdf

Page 54 is the essay prompt

I chose perspective 1.

While freedom is important, the sake of public health as a whole justifies limiting certain freedoms. Lighting a cigarrette outside of an elementary school is not only physically dangerous to kids, but it’s mentally dangerous because kids might think that smoking is alright. In a country that has the most freedom, some freedoms have to be sacrificed for the benefit of others.

Many people argue that America is “home of the free”; meaning, freedom always comes first. Just how the people who wrote the second amendment had no clue how popular and dangerous weapons would be, “home of the free” was coined by an era that did not have the same dangers that the public is dealing today. The freedoms that are being restricted are so small that we would still be “home of the free”, even if can’t drive the muzzling Jaguar, smoke in front of kids, or show off a new gun outside of church.

The benefits of certain restrictions far outweigh the negatives. Studies have shown that cities who set restrictions tend to have healthier citizens, higher family income, and more successful college students. It’s not a surprise because those restrictions enforce a better environment. Small changes have a large impact; freedom restrictions make positive impacts.

People that don’t care about others think that restrictions are set in effect to make their life worse; that’s not true. Placing restrictions also helps those who are being “restricted”. Smoking is harmful to your lungs. Your car that is ruining everyone’s environment is also ruining yours. Showing off your gun makes you look like a ruthless thug. When certain restrictions are enforced, they are not only helping certain people; they are helping everyone.

There is no drawback whatsoever about setting freedom restrictions. The restrictions are minimal; the benefits are a lot more evident than the negatives; and in the end, the restrictions help those that are “restricted”.

Thank you for reading this!

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