Can someone grade my AP world history practice Change over time essay?

Test Preparation AP Test Preparation
1

<p>prompt-analyze the cultural and politcial changes in India from 300 C.E. to 600 C.E.</p>

<p>essay</p>

<p>Through the time period 300 C.E. to 600 C.E the Indian Civilization has changed but also stayed the same culturally and politically. The Gupta Dynasty created peace and prosperity known as the Golden Age of India, the silk road brough relligions and ideas from other areas and united most of India.
Due to the silk roade the Indian Civilization gained many goods, ideas and technologies. Due to this the gupta Dynasty was able to create the Hindu culture that remains dominant in India. Although Hindu was dominant, India changed in the fact that it also supported the South East Asian religion of Buddhism in some areas. Although the silk road has caused the influx of influence from foreign nations, India has remained the same in the sense that it has been able to resist the influence of North-Western Countries.
The Golden Age of India also occured in India which was similar to the Pax Romana in Rome. Indian Culture was changed due to th revolution on art, science, mathematics and architecture due to this period of peace and prosperity. This made possible the spread of ideas from India to the Arab world and then onto Europe. The Golden Age of India changed their culture forever.
The silk roa also increaed and changed the political power of India due to the luxury goods that they exported to European nations. The want and need for these goods in Western Nations gave India influential power over them. Over time this caused the strenghening and expansion the the Gupta Dynasty.
Over time India's culture and political power grew as other countries became fond of their luxury exports. Hinduism was dominant in India which created the Caste System in India. Although Hinduism was dominant, Buddhism also became popular in many areas of India.</p>

<p>Please grade according to the ap world history exam rubric
please grade on the 1-9 scale</p>

<p>i wrote this under test conditions so please take that into consideration</p>

<p>thanks for helping me prep for my test on thurs!</p>

2

<p>I would say it is very disjointed. The last couple lines, make some decent points, but you fail to expand upon them…I would say between a 3 and a 5 tops.</p>

3

<p>I would say a 4.
Definitely work on your thesis. It’s really really weak and doesn’t give me anything to expect before I read your body paragraphs. You essay was imbalanced. While imbalance is acceptable, I felt your political analysis is weak and lacks details. You need detailed evidence to support your topic sentences and thesis. For example, don’t just say luxury, expand and describe which luxuries. How did the Golden Age revolutionize art, science, mathematics, and architecture. Don’t just say it changed. Describe how. I thought your religion paragraph, which I would suppose ties to culture, was decent. It’s somewhat specific. Hope this helps. I wrote a bunch of APWorld essays last year. CCOT essays were my least favorite. But fortunately, the essay prompt last year was about the Silk Road, and being Chinese, I’ve been exposed to the history of the Silk Road for 15 years when I took the test, so I had an idea of the changes and continuities of the silk road. I ended up getting a 5, and it was definitely worth the practice and review. Best of wishes to you!</p>

4

<p>thanks for the detailed response i hope to get a four or a five. the essays will hurt me so im trying to get a grasp on them.</p>

5

<p>I think you should start from the beginning…
how did the gupta got into power and even speak a tad about religion and politics…</p>

<p>perhaps talk about alexander the great’s expeditions to india (is it inside the time frame)</p>

<p>good luck</p>